


Going Nowhere Fast

by Sidnika



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-18 18:24:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 52,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1438171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sidnika/pseuds/Sidnika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Athena Shepard accidentally meet Kaidan Alenko in an alley in Vancouver. She runs with the Reds, rides a motorcycle and steal, and he's from the fancy part of town. Set when Kaidan has just come back from jump zero, does not follow canon. Rated Mature for smut in later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for fun but decided to publish it here in case someone likes it. Please comment!
> 
> Disclaimer: Bioware's universe, I'm just borrowing it

_The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling,_   
_way down in the valley tonight._   
_There's a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye,_   
_and a blade shining oh so bright._   
_There's evil in the air and there's thunder in sky,_   
_and A killer's on the bloodshot streets._   
_Oh and down in the tunnel where the deadly are rising,_   
_Oh I swear I saw a young boy down in the gutter,_   
_He was starting to foam in the heat._

**Meat Loaf - "Bat Out Of Hell"**

She was walking seemingly carefree through the streets, like she was out taking a stroll in the nice weather, but it was all a facade. She was actually tense as a bowstring and watched out for anything and anyone. She was good at gathering information on the other gangs and she usually enjoyed it, the feeling of being in control and knowing things she wasn't supposed to. But today she was far out of the Reds territory and it made her jumpy, just wanting to get back to the neighbourhood as quickly as possible but not wanting to draw attention to herself by walking too fast.

The streets were always more empty this time of day and just as she felt thankful for it she saw the living proof of the downside. At least she thought he was alive, thought she could see his chest moving. She hesitated at the corner of the alley and ran her hand through her long mane of red hair before she strode down the length of it to the body lying at the end. As she drew closer she could tell two things: he was definitely breathing and he did not belong here. How he'd ended up here she didn't know but he was wearing way too nice clothes to have anything to do in this part of town. He was bleeding from the nose and one of his eyes looked swollen but she couldn't see any other wounds or blood on him. He looked to be a few years older then herself, maybe 19 or 20 with thick black hair and a handsome face under all the blood. She shot a quick look out to the main street but saw no one. She sat down beside him and carefully touched the guy's arm.

"Hey, wake up"

He stirred and she put one arm across his chest and the other on his brow as he started to regain conciousness to hold him down and stop any excessive movements. She didn't know what had happened to him but if he'd been bounced around bad he could have a fracture in his spine. His eyes squinted and she made sure to put her face above his so he could see her without moving.

"Take it easy. Don't move, alright?"

His eyes focused on hers, a kind of amber brown under thick black eyebrows, and from the movement in them she could tell that he was already trying to get a hold of the situation.

"You look like you've been beat up. Can you feel you legs and arms? Can you move them?"

Out of the corner of her eye she could see his fingers moving and he managed a nod, despite her hand on his head. She moved back but kept one hand on his chest to keep him from getting up.

"Don't get up too fast, you've probably got a concussion"

"Yeah"

His voice was raspy and rough and he licked his lips while he moved his head to the sides to try and locate where he was. She took that opportunity to glance back towards the entrance of the alley again but it was still clear.

"Where am I?"

"Downtown Vancouver. The part of town someone like you never goes to"

She gave him a crooked smile and he managed a faint one back.

"I can see why"

She chuckled, at least he still had his wits.

"How's the head?"

"Pounding. But no nausea"

"You remember what happened?"

He nodded at first but stopped and squeezed his eyes shot. The hand that went to his head indicated the head hurt more then he was trying to let on. She realised she still had her hand on his chest and moved it so he could sit up if he wanted to.

"Was passing through when a couple of guys showed up and pushed me into the alley. Said they wanted my omni tool and my wallet and I gave it to them but they beat me up anyway"

He made a move to sit up and she helped him get back a couple of inches so he could lean against the wall.

"Don't suppose you wanna tell me why you were passing through in the first place?"

His eyes narrowed and he didn't look like he wanted to tell her anything at all and she sighed.

"Didn't think so"

She cast another glance towards the larger street and decided she rather not stay here longer then she needed to.

"Look, you wanna call someone from my 'tool or something? Cause I rather not stay here and you don't look like you can get home on your own"

"Yeah. Thanks"

She took it off and handed it to him while keeping watch on the mouth of the alley. She wasn't normally this jumpy but something in her gut said she was gonna pay for doing a good deed. He made a quick call to someone who said they'd come and pick him up and he sent the coordinates. She bit the inside of her cheek to refrain from telling him that staying in this place was like inviting trouble for dinner, and contented with holding a quiet debate inside her head. Stay or bale? She decided to stay. Maybe a stupid decision but she could run fast if it came to that, and this guy looked really vulnerable sitting there. He was holding his head in his hands and seemed to be in some pain.

"Hey, you alright?"

She realised what a stupid question it was as soon as the words were out of her mouth. The guy had just been beat up and robbed, of course he wasn't alright. He nodded though, still with his head in his hands.

"Just a headache. Thanks for helping me by the way"

Polite even when beat up.

"No problem"

Well, that remained to be seen. The silence stretched on but she didn't feel like making small talk, and considering the headache he seemed to have she was probably doing him a favour. Within 10 minutes they could hear the engine of a car approaching and when it came into view and stopped right before the alley she quickly sucked in a breath. This was no good. The car was really fancy, she was willing to bet all she owned that a car like _that_ hadn't been seen in this part of town for a long time.

She glanced at the guy in front of her and at his nod she stood up and hauled him to his feet. He was heavier then she expected and swayed ominously, so she loped one arm around his waist and put one of his arms over her shoulder to keep him steady. Two people jumped out of the car and made their way towards them. The first one to reach them was a woman, probably the mother, and she threw her arms around him without even a glance for the girl holding him up. The man behind her seemed to have his emotions more under control and managed a smile at his son's saviour. And there was no doubt that this was the father, the resemblance was striking, from the black hair to the build and brown eyes.

He relieved her of the guy while the mother was mumbling assurances to her son non stop and the three of them started moving back towards the car in one unorganised heap. She followed more slowly but wished that they'd hurry up, but of course they didn't see the problem in riding their 500 000 credit car right in here and draw attention to them all. It took both parents to get their son into the backseat and as the mother climbed in next to him the father turned towards the one who'd helped his son and held out his hand.

"Thank you for helping Kaidan. I'm in your debt"

She took his hand after a split second hesitation but before she could answer she heard catcalling and a chorus of 'Damn!' that made her close her eyes in resignation. This was gonna be trouble.

"That's some car!"

She opened her eyes and squeezed the man's hand to get his attention that had been focused on the oncoming group.

"You should go. Really. Like, now"

He didn't need to be told twice and got into the car without another word.

"Hey Red, you know these rich guys?"

She didn't know if the nickname was due to the colour of her hair or the gang she ran with but she fervently prayed for the first one. She tried to melt away in the background as the car started backing out and turning around the corner to face the right way, but the crowd wasn't about to let them slip away that easily. Not that they were actually going to do some damage, just seeing if they could scare the fancy people who unknowingly drove into their midst, but of course the guys in the car didn't know that. She could tell what was about to happen before it did but there was no way to stop it. At least no smart way. The crowd surrounded the car and started banging on the hood, and as long as the parents and their son stayed inside the car they would be fine, but the father in the front seat had his lips pursed together in a tight line and she knew there was only a moment before he stepped out. And a 500 000 credit car was well worth beating three people to get, especially since one of them was a woman that didn't look like she'd been in a fight her entire life and a boy who was already pretty beat up.

It was not a sound decision, she knew that. And she was usually smart.

"Hey! Leave them alone"

It felt like time had slowed down and she could see in slow motion the shocked expressions on the faces of the people in the car and the incredulous look of the crowd as they all turned their attention to her.

"What did you just say?"

She recognized the leader, Danny, as he stepped towards her. He ran the Crows who usually stayed out of the Reds way, but she'd heard some crazy stuff about him. The sort of stuff that made her wish she was anywhere but here. No telling if there was any truth to them, but there was no turning back now either way.

"I told you to fucking leave them alone. You think you gonna steal a car like that and the cops won't find it? How stupid are you?"

Danny's eyes narrowed and he knew she was right, but it didn't mean he had to like it. Especially not being told by a girl who also insulted him. He made a movement with his hand and they all stepped away from the car to move towards her. _Shit_. She looked over at the car and they were clear but they still hadn't moved, what the fuck were they thinking? The man in the front seat was staring at her and didn't seem to know if he should drive away or try to help her. Idiot, she didn't risk her life just so they could all go down.

She was paying attention to the wrong thing and was brought back by the fist that collided with her face and made her stumble backwards, but she at least managed to stay on her feet. Instinct had her bring up her arm to ward off the next blow that were aimed at her head and she ducked below the outstretched arm to try and slip away. She heard the car door open and whirled around even as Danny was approaching again.

"No! Just go!"

She waved her arms at the man who was halfway out of the car.

"Fucking _drive_!"

She hoped he was getting back in because she was done paying attention to them. She stepped aside to avoid another blow and drove her fist hard into the side of her attacker and was rewarded by a grunt of pain. She knew she couldn't beat them all, hell, she didn't even think she could beat this guy, and knew she had to run. At least she was familiar enough with the neighbourhood to know where the shortcuts were and she was smaller and faster then all of the others. She jumped back and started running towards the other end of the street where there was a high fence she could climb. She knew she was good at climbing and once she was over that fence it was gonna take them some time to reach her. She jumped up and caught hold with both hands and feet and vaulted over the fence before any of the others had been able to lay hands on her. She heard the car drive away and felt a wave of relief wash over her, she hadn't done it all in vain. She started running and didn't stop until she was several blocks away and her lungs were aching.

Standing there with her hands on her thighs the pain in her chest started to abide and her attention was caught by a black wallet close to the wall. After a few more seconds of breathing she picked it up to find it was empty, but there was still and ID and a card with the address scrambled across it. She stared at the picture on the ID. _You've gotta be kidding me._ It was the guy from the alley. What were the odds that she'd find this? Maybe she should return it, the address was there after all. Now that she'd found it, it felt like she had to. She looked at the name. _Alright Kaidan Alenko, I'll return your wallet to you._ She should be able to do one good deed without it coming back to bite her in the ass.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was the one I wrote first and it's really cheesy, and I'm sorry about that. I have no excuse other then I kind of like it that way :P Please comment, it helps me get better :)

 

 _I'm gonna hit the highway like a battering ram,  
_ _on a silver black phantom bike.  
_ _When the metal is hot and the engine is hungry,  
_ _and we're all about to see the light.  
_ _Nothing ever grows in this rotting old hole.  
_ _Everything is stunted and lost.  
_ _And nothing really rocks  
_ _And nothing really rolls  
_ _And nothing's ever worth the cost_

**Meat Loaf - “Bat Out Of Hell”**

 

 

She took off her sunglasses and paused at the door, before she pushed the button and heard the doorbell chime from inside the house. She looked up at the building and it was _huge_ , she was certain her own apartment could fit in the entry hall and she shared that with Joker.

"Just a second!"

The door opened and the woman from the alley, Mrs Alenko she guessed, was looking at her with mingled fear and surprise. Before the woman started panicking she quickly held out the wallet.

"I found this, guess it belongs to your son"

Mrs Alenko took it from her out of reflex and moved her lips but no words came out. Just as she was about to turn around and leave, the father and another man appeared behind the stunned woman. The father's eyes widened in recognition and she quickly repeated her reason for being there.

"I found the wallet, just thought I'd return it"

Too late she realised that they would _of course_ assume she had stolen it to begin with and she felt a twinge of fear in her stomach, but carefully made sure her face didn't show anything. If she showed any fear she would be lost. When it came to street kids like her, standard procedure was usually guilty until proven innocent, and she didn't relish the thought of being chased through an unknown neighbourhood. The man beside the father was dark skinned and of average height. He had a posture that immediately made her think of the military officers she had seen that time when she was hiding out at the space port, and he was looking at her as though he found her very interesting. She couldn't help but think of herself as a deer caught in the headlights. Mr Alenko spoke first.

"How nice of you to return it. Do you want to come in? This is the girl who helped Kaidan" He added the last part to the dark skinned man who was still studying her intently.

_If I enter that house, I'm fucked._

"No, thanks, gotta get back" She gestured vaguely towards her motorcycle parked at the end of their driveway.

"Actually we've got some questions for you that we'd like answered" The other man said and the tone of his voice told her it wasn't a request. But there was no way in hell she was going into that house.

"You KGB?" She said with a smirk and leaned on the doorpost to perfect the careless facade.

"Worse. Alliance"

So she'd been right about the military thing. Damn.

"So this is what you get for trying to do a good deed" She pushed off the doorpost but also knew they wouldn't let her go that easy.

"Relax, we just wanna talk. The porch on the side of the house?"

She looked him in the eyes for a few seconds but he seemed like a straight up guy so she slowly nodded. Not that she had any choice. She could run, sure, but he could probably outrun her seeing as he was way more fit and had longer legs. And she'd have to leave her bike.

She walked around to the other side of the house and stepped up on the porch as the three adults walked out on with the younger guy, Kaidan, trailing behind them. All four of them sat down in the couch at one end of the table and she naturally sat down in a chair on the other side, careful to appear fearless and completely in control. Kaidan was looking at her with barely contained curiosity and she gave him a small smile before turning her attention back to the military guy.

"I'm David Anderson, friend of the family. I heard what you did today, helping Kaidan"

He hadn't phrased it as a question and she didn't answer, just kept looking at him with slightly raised eyebrows and the small smirk in the corner of her mouth. When it was obvious she wasn't going to say something he tried again.

"It was very nice of you to bring the wallet all the way here"

"Kind of regretting it right now"

That made him smile and she took it as a small victory. Just had to think carefully before she said anything. Not that she had done anything that would normally catch the Alliance's attention but you could never be too careful, and if the rest of the Reds thought she'd become a snitch she'd be in trouble.

"No good deed goes unpunished. What is your name?"

"I have many names"

"The name your were born with"

"Can't remember that far back"

He frowned and she thought she might have gone a bit too far. She did want to humour him, after all, without telling him anything that mattered.

"The people at the orphanage called me Jane Doe"

He continued to look at her intently as if he expected her to keep talking but she wasn't about to fall for that. Oldest trick in the book. His eyes did seem to bore right through her though.

"When did you first come to the orphanage?"

"When I was four"

"Then I think you _do_ remember the name you were born with"

He was sly, the old man, and she let her smirk grow wider.

"Maybe. But if I didn't tell anyone at the orphanage, why the hell would I tell you?"

She thought she could see a small smile playing around his mouth but she couldn't be sure.

"What do they call you on the street?"

"Shep. Or Copper" She made a gesture towards her red hair and grinned.

"How original"

She shrugged.

"It's a simple crowd"

She let her eyes sweep over the rest of the people in front of her. The mother seemed clearly uncomfortable with the whole turnout and the guy she'd helped, Kaidan, was still staring at her. The father was watching her with a small smile but didn't look like he was about to intervene. He had some of the same air of command as the Alliance guy, but much more subdued.

"Is it your bike?"

Alliance guy nodded his head in the direction of the driveway.

"Yeah"

"You old enough to ride that?"

She laughed. Hadn't meant to, it was just above funny that he'd be concerned with _that_ detail of all things.

"How old would you prefer me to be?"

He watched her silently for a few seconds but seemed to come to the conclusion that it wasn't important enough to keep pushing it. She was starting to wonder where he was going with all this though. He hadn't accused her of stealing the wallet, but in all honesty, if she had, she'd be more then stupid to go to the house and draw more attention to herself. Although some people might get a kick out of getting away with that. Some people who wished to spend their life in jail, that is. She was not one of them.

"How did you get it?"

"Hard work"

His raised his eyebrows as if he found that hard to believe. She _had_ worked hard to get it, maybe not honest work, but still.

"What kind of work?"

"This and that. Maybe not entirely legal"

"Stealing? Drugs?"

She shrugged but said nothing else. She wasn't stupid enough to confess to something like that, or she'd be in jail before she could blink. He studied her in silence for a while and then turned his head to look at the motorcycle. She really hoped he wasn't thinking of trying to impound it or anything, she loved that bike.

"You're not thinking about stealing my ride are you?"

"It's a nice bike, but no"

"Figured. Alliance guys are not supposed to do that"

"Although stealing from a thief seems like a victimless crime"

She could clearly see the smile in the corners of his mouth this time and decided he was just trying to rattle her. He obviously didn't believe she'd come by the bike by honest means, which was kind of true, but he didn't seem interested enough for her to worry about it.

"Funny, that sort of thinking is how I got it in the first place"

He laughed at that and even the other man, Alenko Senior, chuckled. The ice seemed to be breaking a bit after that and both men seemed a little less intimidating. She didn't look to make the frowns return and decided to give them some of what they were after.

"Look, you wanna hear my side of the story or something? That why you insisted on this 'friendly' chat?"

Both men nodded and she let out a dejected sigh.

"I had been in another part of town and was on the way back when I saw him lying in the alley" She jerked her head in Kaidan's direction but kept her eyes on the Alliance guy. "I could see him breathing and he had the nice clothes and all so I figured he'd been jumped or something. He was still out cold but woke up pretty quick when I spoke to him. Made sure he could feel his toes and fingers and all that shit and then I helped him sit up. Nothing seemed to be broken but he was still pretty out of it and I couldn't carry him so I let him use my 'tool to call someone to pick him up. Stayed with him until his folks showed up in the nice car that of course drew the attention of everyone in vicinity. I guess you heard what happened then. I told them to drive, got the fuckers off me and did what you military guys call a 'tactical retreat' - jumped the fence and ran like hell"

The two men and Kaidan all chuckled at that and she started to feel a bit more relaxed. She might just come out of this without having to play tag with the trained soldier.

"I saw the wallet on the ground a couple of blocks away and picked it up. Still had the ID and an address. I recognized him and brought it here, and before you get any ideas – no, I didn't take anything from it"

She locked eyes with Kaidan when she said the last part and hoped he believed her. She'd only tried to help him after all, but the intense look in his eyes as they stared back at her was warm and he looked thankful. He did have very nice eyes, she'd recognized that the moment he opened them in the alley. They made him look friendly and, well, _nice_. What a guy like him had been doing around that part of Vancouver was beyond her.

The Alliance guy brought her back to reality.

"Did you get injured?"

She shrugged and touched her bruised forehead lightly.

"Just some bruises, nothing serious"

"You sure? We could take you to the hospital" _And pay for it._ He didn't say it out loud but it was in the subtext. A nice offer but not necessary.

"I'm good"

They all sat quiet and stared at each other for a few more seconds before she cleared her throat.

"Is that all? 'Cause I should get back"

"Yeah of course. Didn't mean to keep you"

She smirked at that with raised eyebrows.

"I'm sure" She turned towards Kaidan. "I'm glad to see you're alright"

He looked back at her with the same intense gaze he'd studied her with the whole time and smiled.

"Thank you, it was really nice of you to help. And to return my wallet"

She nodded towards him and put her sunglasses back on, more because the feeling of security that came with hiding her eyes then anything to do with visibility as it was almost sunset.

"Anytime"

She wasn't sure if she meant in though, helping him seemed to get her into even more trouble then usual. It was just one of those things you're supposed to say.

They all followed her back around the house towards her bike and just when they reached it, the Alliance guy put his hand on her arm and held out a card with the other.

"Give me a call if you need anything. The Alliance would love to have you when you come of age"

She took the card and put it in her jacket, knowing she'd probably never use it.

"And here I thought you were trying to do me in for something, not recruiting"

He shrugged and smiled as he backed away from the bike.

"The one doesn't have to rule out the other"

She straddled the motorcycle and turned the kill switch on, but just before she started the bike she hesitated.

"Hey" The Alliance guy looked up at her and their eyes locked. "It's Athena. Athena Shepard"

Before he could answer she pushed the button and the bike roared to life. She looked over at Kaidan and he opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but then he closed it again and the moment was gone. Before she could do something she'd regret, like asking if he wanted to hang out, she turned the bike around and manoeuvred it out of the driveway. She drove way over the speed limit the whole way back, both feeling like she'd dodged a bullet and that she'd left something important behind.

  ****


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to you who left kudos, I greatly appreciate it! This chapter doesn't hold much action but there will be more in the next one! :)

 

 _Remember when we were young  
_ _just two kids on the run  
_ _With our fists full of dreams  
_ _Took it awhile, playin' it cool  
_ _stayed up late cuttin' school  
_ _While lightin' cigarettes, like James Dean  
_ _In the backseat of my Chevrolet  
_ _where the radio would play and play  
_ _And all the world would fade away_

**Skid Row - “Forever”**

 

 

"What the fuck is up with you?"

Athena stopped her pacing and looked up at Joker, confused.

"You haven't heard anything I've said for the last few minutes, have you?"

He watched her with one eyebrow raised and she gave him a sheepish smile and sat down on the cot beside him.

"Sorry, guess I'm distracted. I'll listen now, promise"

"Too distracted to hear the story of me kicking Finch's ass?" He studied her face intently and she tried to adapt an innocent expression, but Joker always saw right through that and today was no exception. "Is it that guy from the alley? Cause really, I didn't figure rich boys with no clue how to handle themselves was your type"

"Shut up, it's not like that" She muttered and got up to continue pacing, but apparently it was too good for Joker to pass up.

"You like it when you get to be the knight and the guy plays the damsel in distress, huh?"

"Why else would I still be hanging out with you?"

"Ouch, that hurt" Joker put his hand over his heart and did his best to look wounded, but the smirk betrayed him. "And here I thought it was my good looks and charm"

"Well, that too" She grinned at him and sat down at his side again. "It's not just the guy. I've been thinking of that Alliance thing. Maybe joining up" She glanced at him to see his reaction but his face was blank. "I know it's a year away and there's no guarantee I'll even make it to eighteen, but still. Maybe" She cocked her head and watched him from underneath her eyelashes. "What do you think?"

"You'd be a hell of a soldier, that's for sure. But as you say, it's a long ways off. I might even join you, not as a marine but maybe a pilot" The smirk was back and he peered at her. "Meanwhile, I've got this great story of me kicking Finch's ass..."

They both started laughing and the serious expression on Athena's face disappeared. Then Joker suddenly frowned a bit and got a mischievous smile on his face.

"Wait a minute! You said 'It's not _just_ the guy'. So you have been thinking of the guy!"

Athena punched him in the shoulder hard enough for him to yelp.

"Watch the arm!"

But they were both smiling.

"So what's this of you kicking Finch's ass?"

Joker knew the change of topic was only for her benefit, but he let it slide and started a very dramatic, and embellished, retelling of the story that had Athena crying of mirth.

* * *

 

She turned the engine off, parked her bike and got the crutches that she'd been cramping fixed under her arm during the ride, and gave them to Joker as he rode his bike up next to her. He was careful not to scratch the red paint job as he braced himself on one crutch and swung his other leg over the seat. Joker had Vrolik's syndrome, brittle bones disease, but he was on his medication and only needed the crutches for getting on and off the bike, and to get up from when he was sitting on the ground. He would have preferred not to bring them at all, which was why she'd carried them, but after the incident when he'd decked Finch using one of them it was easier to convince him they might be useful. The others had parked and were ready to go and they made their way down the hill towards the water, only to stop dead when they realised that they weren't alone.

"Shit" Athena muttered when she saw the fancy black car parked among others of equal value. Joker turned his eyes towards her with a questioning expression and she nodded towards the car. "I have an inkling who owns that"

"Should we find another place?" Dave asked the question but they all looked towards her like she was some kind of leader although she wasn't. Maybe it was just that her opinion was usually the most pronounced.

"Nah, lets just give the fancy folks some space. There's plenty of room for all of us"

Her heart started beating a little faster as her eyes lingered on the car that had almost gotten her into a nasty fight a few days back, and she wondered if the whole family was here. The scent of barbecue and the sound of laughter told them that they were basically crashing a beach party and Athena couldn't help but wonder if Kaidan would be there. She'd be lying is she said she didn't hope for it. It was strange, she didn't even know him, had barely said a few words to him but she still felt like she should have said something more outside his house. She had a feeling he'd wanted to say something there too, but that he'd chickened out just like her.

They went over the hill and sure enough, a couple of rich families were there sharing the public grill. Well, they hadn't planned on using the grill anyway. Just drinking beer, playing some songs, Dave had brought his guitar, and maybe a bonfire. Seeing as most of the families had children with them they wouldn't be staying long in any case. Few noticed them as they headed over towards the water but a familiar figure caught her eye and looked right back with an unyielding gaze. Damn. Alliance guy was still with them. David Anderson, she reminded herself. Since she'd told him her real name she might as well use his. She let her eyes rake over his company and both Alenko Senior and Kaidan sat on the blanket, but no Mrs Alenko in sight. Besides Anderson, no one in the group seemed to have noticed their arrival and she tore her eyes away to focus on her current company – Joker already grinning at her knowingly and it took great restraint not to hit him at that moment.

"Shut up" she muttered under her breath and steered them all to an empty spot away from all the others where they dumped their stuff. The sun had not set yet and it was a warm summer evening, for Vancouver at least, and since those days were scarce, it would be a waste not to take advantage of it. They took off their clothes and raced down to the water in their underwear, Joker going more slowly after them.

Once the five of them started joking around, Athena forgot about the company they had farther up the beach and just enjoyed herself. It was not often she saw Joker like this, laughing and moving as unhindered in the water as the rest of them. They had been a team as long as she could remember, finding each other during that first time at the orphanage and staying together ever since. His disability meant there was some things he couldn't do for the Reds but his quick mind and ability to drive anything with wheels, and some things without, more then made up for it. Joker was like the brother she never had, or maybe she had a brother somewhere, she didn't know, but Joker was the one she chose. He was almost a year older then her and would turn eighteen in a few weeks but he still looked to her to make the decisions and sometimes she felt like the older one. She reached up and ran her fingers over the tattoo on her left shoulder blade. It was a bird, a blue jay, in full flight and Joker had a matching one at the exact same place. It was the first tattoo for both of them and they'd gotten them just after joining the Reds and getting paid for their first job, but while she'd taken to it and gotten a few more afterwords, Joker only had the one.

She was brutally brought out of her sentimental musings by Johnny, who unceremoniously picked her up and threw her into the water with a roar. By the time she came up for air they were all laughing hard and she joined in. It was not often someone got the jump on her like that. She decided to pay back in full and it quickly became a war where it was Athena, Joker and Dave against Johnny and Jade. By the time Johnny and Jade surrendered the sun had started setting and they were all breathless and starting to get cold.

The headed back up to their packs and saw that most of the families had cleared out by now. Athena cast a fugitive glance towards the Alenkos and saw that they were still there. Alenko Senior was talking to Anderson but Kaidan was clearly watching her while she put on her pants and she turned her face away from the others to hide the small smile she couldn't hold back. Not that she minded him looking, she had nothing to hide. With her long legs, slim figure but still ample hips and chest she had gotten used to the attention from guys, and some girls, since she was 14 years old. She'd learned to ignore it but this time she found she quite enjoyed it. She cast her eyes back to him and held them there for a few seconds until he seemed to know he was being watched and he looked up, then quickly away, blushing furiously. She smiled and slid her tank top on. It was kind of cute that he seemed so embarrassed over some harmless ogling. Silly, but cute.

By the time she sat down between Jade and Joker, there was an ongoing discussion about the band that was going to play at the local club on saturday. They'd listened to them a lot and they all looked forward to it. Jade passed her a beer and she took a swig and shivered before setting it down in the sand beside the blanket. Her long hair was wet and cold and she tied it into a braid that hung over her right shoulder before she got up.

"We should find some wood for a fire before it gets pitch black"

They all got up and scattered around to find dry wood. Athena was thinking about the band when she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around, only to find the hand belonged to Anderson. She tensed up and quickly stepped out of his reach, old habit, before regaining her posture and relaxing the muscles.

"Did I scare you?" He was smiling and she huffed.

"You wish"

"Collecting firewood?" He phrased it as a question and she raised her eyebrows at him.

"Stating the obvious, huh?"

He chuckled and bent down to pick up some driftwood. She straightened up and glared at him.

"You just thought you'd help?"

"Wanted to see how you were"

"You haven't asked"

"Would you answer truthfully if I did?"

She shrugged and didn't answer but admitted to herself that he probably had a point.

"Then how are you planning on finding out?"

"I'm good at reading people"

She snorted at that and looked at him suspiciously but he just continued to collect wood. He probably _was_ good at reading people and that made her a bit uneasy. She really didn't _get_ this guy.

"Why do you care?"

He finally straightened up and as he turned towards her she had to resist the urge to take a step back. He cocked his head while looking at her and seemed to be thinking of the answer.

"You fascinate me. Not many people would risk themselves like you did to help a couple of strangers get away. Why did you do that?"

She felt uncomfortable under his gaze and the way he pictured her like some damned hero when she had just acted on an impulse. From the corner of her eye she could see Joker watching and smiled at him to let him know everything was alright. You could never be too careful with strangers. Joker visibly relaxed at her reassurance and she turned her attention back to Anderson. He was still watching her with a curious expression.

"Your friend getting worried?"

"We look out for each other" She took a deep breath before she began to answer his question, a question she wasn't sure she knew the answer to. "Look, I don't know. I saw the guy in the alley, and the smart thing would be to have kept walking and ignored it. I didn't feel right though. And all three of them were so _obviously_ out of their element it was almost painful"

She shrugged but Anderson just kept watching her. After a silence that felt like it stretched on forever she gave the one final reason she hadn't wanted to admit.

"Had a friend who died from a beating once. Would have lived if somebody had helped him to a hospital in time but he was just left there" The beach suddenly felt chilly beyond the setting sun. "I didn't want it to happen to someone else, and he had a bad headache" She nodded towards Kaidan. "Needed to get to the hospital, not laid out in the same alley twice. Don't know why he was even there to begin with, didn't seem like the adrenaline junkie type. Guess you can say the he _fascinated_ me"

She gave a lopsided grin and Anderson laughed. Athena felt relieved that he didn't ask any more questions and as she started back towards the others he followed with his arms full of driftwood. There was already a small pile of wood in the sand beside her friends, who was looking at their arrival suspiciously.

"This is David Anderson. He's Alliance" She dumped her wood on top of the pile and gestured towards the guys. "Joker, Dave, Johnny and Jade"

Anderson stepped forward to shake their hands and since they could see that Athena wasn't worried they didn't look as disturbed by the Alliance- thing as they normally would. She'd told them about her run-in with the Alenkos and Anderson so they knew who he was but they looked surprised that he was over there with them, helping to gather firewood. As a matter of fact, so was she. She sat down next to the pile and pulled out the old newspapers they'd brought to start the fire.

She heard Dave asking Anderson about the Alliance and what kind of missions he got to do, and Athena couldn't help but smile to herself. The ever-curious Dave. How he had managed to stay alive for so long was beyond her, since he always poked his nose where it didn't belong and often managed to stir something up. He'd gotten her into trouble more time then she could count, but he always got her out as well so she guessed she couldn't be mad. He was a real romantic too, probably wanted to join the Alliance to become a space hero. She liked to think she was more realistic.

The fire roared to life and she got back on her feet to get her beer and bring their blankets closer, it really was getting chilly. Joker elbowed her in the side and nodded towards the arrival of two more people. Athena looked in the direction and saw Alenko Senior and Kaidan walking towards them, no doubt wondering where Anderson had gotten to. The father recognized her and held out his hand for her to shake.

"Hello again. We just keep running into each other"

She shook his hand and returned his gaze, not sure if he implied that she was stalking them or if he was just making conversation.

"Small world"

She turned towards Kaidan who held out his hand with a small smile playing around his mouth and she wondered if he was still embarrassed for staring at her earlier.

"Hi. Thanks again for helping me"

"No problem"

Why did she keep repeating that? She was lucky to have gotten away with a bruise. The others had gathered around now and she sighed. Introductions.

"Guys, this is Kaidan Alenko and his father Mr. Alenko. Kaidan's the one from the alley. This is Joker, Dave, Johnny and Jade"

She backed away as everyone was shaking hands with each other and it struck her how weird this was. She had barely said a few sentences to Kaidan but this was the second time she'd accidentally ran into him, and the third time overall, in just a few days. The Alenkos were the sort of people they usually avoided, that used to look at them like they were scum or dangerous, or both. And here they were, shaking hands like it was all normal.

"We should be going, didn't mean to disturb you. It was nice to meet you all" Anderson made the excuse as soon as he was able to get away from Dave's questions. "Again" he added to Athena with a smile, and she found herself smiling back. Then Joker spoke up.

"So Kaidan, there's this band playing at the club downtown on saturday and we're all going. You wanna come with? They're really good"

Athena could have killed him. He kept a straight face but Athena could tell he was laughing at her on the inside, knowing how mad she'd be. She quickly interfered.

"That's not his kind of place at all, and probably not his kind of music either. You'd just be bored"

She added the last part to Kaidan, and although she tried to persuade him not to come she kind of hoped he'd want to anyway. He looked back at her with a searching look before he smiled.

"Yeah, why not. Sounds cool. I'm sure I'll like the music"

Athena felt like she'd been holding her breath, and breathed out slowly. At least she'd given him a way out if he wanted it. Apparently he didn't. Joker was quick on the uptake and didn't miss a beat.

"Cool. We'll come by and pick you up at eight" He turned to Athena "You remember where he lives, right?"

Joker was practically getting her a date and she could see the laughter in his eyes.

"Yeah"

"See you then!"

Joker waved and the three men waved back before they turned and left for their car. She took a deep breath before whirling around and staring in disbelief at Joker's grinning face.

"So, how badly do you wanna hit me right now?"

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those of you who left kudos, it means a lot!

 

_I wanna be young the rest of my life  
_ _never say no - try anything twice  
_ _til the angels come and ask me to fly  
_ _I'm gonna be 18 til I die_

  **Bryan Adams - “18 'Til I Die”**

 

 

“You're kidding right?”

 

“You're the one who knows where he lives and we can't take the bikes to the club anyway. Be a waste of gas if we all went to collect him” Joker did his best to look innocent even as Athena narrowed her eyes at him and put her hands on her hips.

 

“I've no idea what the hell you're trying to do Joker, but for fuck's sake, _stop_ ”

 

He grinned at her shamelessly.

 

“That's no way to speak to the one who got you a date. Now, scram. I told him he'd be picked up at eight”

 

Joker took another swig of his beer and smirked as she furiously picked up her leather jacket and put it on. She shot him a murderous glare before marching through the door and slamming it behind her. She heard him shout through the closed door.

 

“See ya soon!”

 

She was furious but she should have expected it. There _was_ no reason for them all to go and pick up Kaidan, but really, this would look like a cheap romance vid with her coming to pick him up on her trusty steed. She let her hands travel the side of the bike as she mounted it. It, _she_ , really was a beauty, black with blue ghost paint in the shapes of flames. Original, but pretty. She turned the engine on and hit the road, driving towards the fancier parts of the city, wondering if the night would be a disaster or if there was some way it would all work out.

 

She arrived at the Alenko house a few minutes past eight and turned the engine off. She didn't know if she should go and ring the doorbell or if he'd come out by himself but she hoped for the latter. Something about that house freaked her out and she didn't want to step inside. Maybe it was just the sense of not belonging there, being afraid of breaking something. Or maybe she just didn't feel comfortable knowing how a vase in that house was worth more then all her things together. Except, perhaps, the bike. She sighed and realised she would have to approach the house after all, when the front door opened and Kaidan stepped out. If he was surprised that only she was there to pick him up, he didn't show it. She let her eyes wander over him as he made his way towards her. He was wearing a regular pair of black jeans and a dark grey t-shirt, nothing like the fancy clothes he'd been wearing the other times she'd seen him, and she allowed herself to smile. He wasn't stupid, at least. But really cute.

 

“Good to see you decided to dress down”

 

Kaidan glanced at his choice of clothes and looked a bit uncertain.

 

“Should I wear something else?”

 

Apparently he didn't know if she'd been sarcastic and her smile widened. Yeah, definitely cute.

 

“No, that's fine. I wasn't kidding or anything” She was still straddling the bike and was about to tell him to get on when she realised something that might be a problem. “I have no helmet. Never really used one in my life. Didn't think of it, sorry”

 

She looked at him apologetically but he just shrugged and climbed up behind her. She felt a wave of heat as his chest was pressed to her back and forced herself to take a deep breath. It wouldn't do to pay too much attention to _that_ when she needed to have her full focus on their front to get them there alive.

 

“I'll take it slow”

 

“Don't slow down for me, I can take it”

 

She wondered if he really could, but the desire to test him was overwhelming and as soon as they got out to an open road she pushed the bike into an even faster pace then she usually set. The wind was whistling through her ears and she could feel his hands digging into her waist. He said something in her ear but the sound of the wind was way too loud for her to hear his words, only the tone of his voice got through and he was _excited_. Not frightened or frantic but _excited_. Maybe she'd have to take back that statement about him not being an adrenaline junkie.

 

All too soon they arrived back at the apartments, and she suddenly felt shy about showing him hers. She and Joker had done pretty good for themselves as far as the others in the same place was concerned but compared to Alenko Manor it was probably grubbier then the lowliest basement. She neatly manoeuvred the bike to it's usual place and turned the engine off. She waited until he had gotten off clearly before she kicked the kickstand down and let go off the bike.

 

“That was awesome!”

 

She turned towards him with an incredulous look on her face. He looked flushed after the ride and his eyes that had seemed so calm before were gleaming. He was gorgeous. And ecstatic, she almost expected him to start bouncing. She'd really enjoyed the ride as well, the adrenaline gave her a kick like nothing else, but she'd never expected it from a guy like Kaidan. She really should stop judging the book by it's cover. She grinned at him and patted the bike. Maybe tonight wouldn't be bad after all.

 

“And here I thought you'd be scared”

 

He huffed at her, clearly affronted by her assumption.

 

“I don't scare that easily” His eyes travelled over the bike. “That's some bike”

 

She burst out laughing and he looked back at her, confused. He obviously hadn't realised that he'd used the exact phrase as the Crows did about his parents car back in the alley.

 

“I'm sorry, that just reminded me of something”

 

It took him a moment to catch on but then he laughed and rubbed his neck with one hand.

 

“That wasn't intentional”

 

Still grinning, she waved at him to follow her up the steps towards the apartment. The others were already in there when they entered and, if the loud voices was any indication, they had been downing a few beers each already.

 

“Hey! Dude! Beer?”

 

Dave was so worked up that he had apparently lost the ability to speak full sentences, and both Athena and Kaidan started laughing, there was no way _not_ to laugh at him, bouncing up and down as he did. They accepted their beer and Kaidan turned around to discretely swallow a pill. No one but Athena seemed to have noticed, and she only did because she had been watching him to see if he felt uncomfortable in the apartment with all of them. And a little bit to check him out without him noticing. But she hadn't expected _that_. He turned towards her and she must still have looked shocked because he got an alarmed expression on his face and began to shake his head.

 

“Painkillers to prevent headache” When she didn't look calmer he quickly continued. “I get pretty nasty migraines, like in the alley. Sometimes from loud noises. Figured I better take one before the concert”

 

She still wasn't sure if he was lying or being serious. It sounded kinda weird.

 

“And it's okay to mix it with alcohol?”

 

“Yes, it's no problem”

 

She studied his face for a moment but decided to believe him. It was hard to say anything against those eyes. She slowly nodded and held out her own beer bottle to clink it against his in a toast and he smiled and looked relieved that she wasn't too freaked out. She'd dealt in drugs from time to time and of course she'd tested but she wasn't into babysitting someone that just wanted to live dangerously for a night. Luckily, that didn't seem to be the case.

 

Johnny chose that moment to turn the music up to the old speakers loudest capacity and twirled Jade around on the floor in a way that looked sure to end in a painful crash, but somehow they managed to keep themselves on their feet. Athena couldn't help but laugh at the way they tried to make completely different moves and thudded into each other. After a while of watching the show she caught Joker waving at her over the noise and pointing to the clock around his arm. She got his meaning and turned the music off, and they all started moving towards the club.

 

* * *

 

The band hadn't started to play when they arrived but the place was _packed_. Athena took Joker's arm in one hand to steady him before they all started squishing their way towards the stage. She looked over her shoulder to make sure that Kaidan was following. He was probably a few years older then herself, she guessed at two or maybe three years, but she still felt like she wanted to keep an eye on him. Considering the outcome the last time he'd been in this part of town, it wasn't that strange.

 

They managed to squeeze themselves to the front and stood right beneath the stage. Dave, Johnny and Jade went to get them all drinks while Athena, Joker and Kaidan guarded their places. Even though no band was playing yet the music was loud and they had to speak into each others ears if they wanted to make them hear. Joker leaned in towards her.

 

“Going good?”

 

She knew he meant with Kaidan but she chose to ignore it.

 

“Yeah, you?”

 

He rolled his eyes at her before he leaned in again.

 

“Come on, you know what I mean!”

 

She just shook her head at him with a smile on her lips and took a small step sway from him. He chuckled at her while accepting the beer from Johnny as the guys came back from the bar. Athena glanced at Kaidan and he looked a bit uncomfortable standing there, obviously not as drunk as the others in their company.

 

“You okay?”

 

She gestured towards his head to indicate what she meant and he nodded and took a swig of his beer before leaning close enough to answer her.

 

“It's no problem, but I think both of us are a little behind on drinks” He gestured towards the rest of the company standing around them and grinned. “Feel like getting something a little stronger?”

 

She grinned back.

 

“I like the way you think”

 

He lead the way towards the bar and she followed him closely. Perhaps a little closer then she had to, but what the hell. When they got to the bar he took a credit chit from his pocket and she thought about arguing about paying for her own drink, but he got there first.

 

“It's on me. For, you know, saving my ass”

 

She grinned at the comment and couldn't resist the obvious response.

 

“Well, it's a nice ass”

 

He chuckled and ordered two tequila shots which they threw back and they both grimaced at the taste.

 

“Another?”

 

He had leaned in close to be able to speak directly in her ear, and as she felt his breath against her skin she shivered. She shifted to be able to speak back and made sure to let her breath gust over his ear as she spoke.

 

“Hell yeah”

 

She couldn't tell if he'd reacted to her closeness the way she had to his, and the fact that she'd tried to make him told her she was more affected by the drinks they'd had so far then she'd thought. She had to tread more carefully the rest of the night or she might do something she'd regret. But she had just agreed to another round and she was not one to back down easily. And if she managed to embarrass herself, it would be easy to forget about it since they'd probably never bump into each other again by accident. Two more shots appeared at the bar before them and just as they picked them up a roar could be heard from behind them as the band entered the stage. They quickly swallowed the liquor and pushed their way back to the rest of the group.

 

The band was a well known rock band called Stain and the crowd all around them were getting wild, roaring and catcalling. Athena grinned at Kaidan at her side, ecstatic from anticipation and the buzz of the alcohol in her body. She realised they hadn't even told him what band was going to play tonight, not even the genre, but he didn't seem surprised. He only grinned back and held his beer up in a toast towards her.

 

Then the band began to play.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**  
**

_When the mornin' breaks  
_ _We go our separate ways  
_ _If the night was made for love it ain't for keeps  
_ _But I lose control  
_ _As I watch you go  
_ _All my senses say I'm in this much too deep_

**Bryan Adams - “One Night Love Affair”**

 

 

The first thing she noticed when she woke up was that her head was pounding like _hell_. She was lying completely still and kept her eyes shut, trying to think of anything but the throbbing. That's how she came to notice a second thing: she was not alone in the bed.

 

She could feel a warm body next to her, in fact, she could feel her left leg slung over someone else's leg. She kept still and tried to remember how she got here and who the other one in her bed could be. She could feel that she was wearing a t-shirt and panties at least, indicating that whoever was in her bed had probably just slept there, which was a relief seeing as she couldn't remember anything.

 

She really didn't want to open her eyes to the brightness of the room so she relied on her other senses. She could hear the soft breathing of the person next to her, at least he or she was alive, and the scent...

 

She opened her eyes without thinking as the realisation hit her, but quickly closed them again with a groan. The person next to her started moving and she suddenly had no idea how to react. She recognized the smell of Kaidan but she had no idea how he had ended up in her bed or why. She could feel him starting to wake up though, and she opened her eyes, carefully, and blinked a few times to get the room into focus. She was indeed lying on her back in her bed with one leg over one of Kaidan's, both in their underwear.

 

 _Well, this is awkward_.

 

She slowly lifted her leg and moved it from Kaidan's, praying that he was still sleepy enough not to notice the movement, and sat up on the edge of the bed, thinking she might manage to sneak off before he came to. The sudden lack of movements behind her and a sharp intake of breath told her that Kaidan was now fully awake, and probably in the same state of wondering what the hell happened as she was. A totally irrelevant thought hit her.

 

_I should have thought to put on nicer panties yesterday._

 

Of all the things to be bothered by in this current situation, that was not it. Still, it hit her that she would show them off if she got up from the bed, but she could not stay in bed either, that seemed suggestive, like this had been her plan all along. _Fuck._

 

“Umm...”

 

Kaidan's voice brought her back and she turned her head and shifted on the bed to face him, dragging the blanket a bit towards her to cover up the old pair of panties she had on. He had propped himself up on his elbows and was staring around him like he was still trying to get his bearings. She couldn't help but laugh at his horrified expression and he turned to stare at her.

 

“Sleep well?”

 

He moved his mouth like a fish before he managed to blurt out something.

 

“What happened?” He stared around him again like he was looking for clues that could explain this.

 

“We had a lot to drink, that much my head is telling me. Guess we thought it wouldn't be a great idea to drive when we were that wasted” He winced at that.

 

“Lucky we still had some of our wits” He muttered and rubbed his eyes.

 

“As for waking up like this, I'm as surprised as you are. But I guess it would've been rude of me to make you sleep on the floor”

 

She grinned at him but in her mind she wondered who's idea it actually had been to share a bed. Probably hers, with the crush she had on him her drunken mind doubtlessly though it was a great plan.

 

She searched the room for her pants and as she saw them in a heap next to her on the floor, she stood up and quickly put them on, ignoring the irrational embarrassment of her underwear. The t-shirt she slept in was the same one she wore last night but she could see her bra next to the bed and decided not to explore the various mortifying options of how it got there. Apparently Kaidan didn't remember anything from that part of the night anyway, so no need to worry.

 

Her head was still pounding but the whole who-the-hell-is-in-my-bed-incident had managed to take her mind of it. Still, coffee would be nice.

 

“You want some coffee? Don't have any breakfast though, sorry”

 

Kaidan looked confused for a moment, like he'd been so occupied by his thoughts he almost hadn't heard her.

 

“Uhh...Yeah. Coffee sounds nice”

 

He still looked dazed as she made her way out to the larger room that served as both kitchen and living room. There was no sign of Joker but his door was closed, so he was probably still sleeping. As she put the filter and coffee into the machine she tried to remember as much as she could of last night. She remember being a bit drunk when the band started playing and she remembered the great concert. Afterwards they had stayed at the club and Johnny had suggested a stupid drinking game about throwing the caps of their beer bottles into a glass, having to drink if you failed. She couldn't remember the outcome of the game so apparently she hadn't done well.

 

The coffee had just finished brewing by the time Kaidan came out of her bedroom, fully clothed. She poured two cups and handed one to him.

 

“You okay?”

 

He just nodded and sipped at the black coffee.

 

“We don't have any milk or sugar since both of us take it black”

 

He just shrugged.

 

“That's fine. Anything with caffein in it sounds great at this point”

 

She chuckled at that, he apparently had even more of a headache then she did. Then she remembered that his head usually troubled him.

 

“How's the head? You have any more of those pills? I have aspirin if that helps”

 

He waved her concern off.

 

“No, this is just a regular hangover. Nothing to worry about”

 

He smiled at her and even if it looked kind of pained, she got a warm feeling in her stomach at the sight of him. His hair was still tousled after sleep and he had some stubble on his cheek, but she liked the look of him disheveled. And those eyes managed to make her stomach flip all on their own. She snapped out of her musings when he started to talk again, sounding a bit... embarrassed?

 

“I hope I didn't make you too uncomfortable with me sleeping in your bed. I honestly don't remember how we got there, but I would never try to.. uhm... take advantage of you or anything”

 

He looked really uncomfortable himself, and she couldn't help but think that he looked adorable with his sleepy look and the blush that crept up his face after his little speech.

 

“I don't remember either, but I don't mind. We still had some clothes on so I guess we just slept. Not sure we would have been able to do anything else anyway, with how wasted we must have been”

 

She grinned at him and was rewarded by a chuckle in return.

 

“So... uhm... Does this happen to you often?”

 

He still looked embarrassed, studying his coffee cup with more interest then should be possible and she grinned at his question. The whole 'getting to know each other' routine _after_ they'd slept together was kind of awkward. Even if they had actually just _slept_.

 

“Waking up in bed with a guy without remembering how we got there? No, not really. You?”

 

“A guy? No, not really”

 

They grinned at each other before he averted his eyes and looked down at his coffee again.

 

“Not a girl either. I usually don't drink like that”

 

“I must be a bad influence”

 

She was smirking at him as he looked up at her, searching her eyes for something, and she finally understood that he was disturbed by the whole incident and wanted confirmation that she wasn't usually like this.

 

“And I don't normally drink like that either. You must be a bad influence on me”

 

He looked relieved and smiled without looking like he was in pain. The coffee must be doing it's job for his hangover, it sure had with hers.

 

Joker choose that moment to groan from inside his room and they both looked at the door, waiting to hear if it was from pleasure or pain, but then they heard his voice again, sounding very small.

 

“... Shep? I'm dying”

 

Both Athena and Kaidan chuckled at that and she went to the cupboard to fetch a coffee cup for Joker.

 

“It was fun, though. The parts I can remember anyway. Let me know when you want me to drive you home”

 

“Shit!”

 

She spun around to see what was wrong and at his frantic typing at his omni tool she figured he'd forgotten to let his parents know he wasn't sleeping at home. She tried to hide the smile that tugged the corners of her mouth, even if he was older then her he was such a _boy_. He froze and looked over at her, realizing he hadn't answered her.

 

“Yeah. Thanks. It really was fun”

 

He smiled briefly before going back to typing the message, and she filled a cup and went into Joker's room.

 

He was lying in his bed with the cover up over his head and groaned when she put the coffee cup down to hard on the floor beside him. She sat on the edge of his bed and pulled the blanket off his face to find him squeezing his eyes shut tightly.

 

“Brought coffee. Just hangover, right? Nothing broken?”

 

She didn't think there'd be but best to ask. Sometimes he got a fracture and didn't tell her, the stubborn idiot.

 

“Nah. Wouldn't call it _just_ a hangover, though. Feels like my head is about to explode. And I might throw up if I try to move”

 

“So no coffee?”

 

He slowly held out his hand in response and she smiled and gave him the cup. He sipped it carefully without sitting up and then handed it back to her. A voice from outside his door made them both turn their heads and Joker's eyes cracked open. It sounded like Kaidan was calling his parents, and Joker turned to look at her, the hangover seemingly forgotten for the moment.

 

“Is that _Kaidan_?”

 

“Yeah. Too drunk to drive him home last night”

 

She opted for a casual approach but Joker saw right through her and grinned widely.

 

“And where did he sleep, I wonder?”

 

She still tried for nonchalant.

 

“In my bed of course. Couldn't let him sleep on the floor”

 

His grin got even wider.

 

“And where did _you_ sleep?”

 

She shot him a murderous glare. Her silence seemed to be answer enough and Joker started laughing, until it turned into a pained groan and he squeezed his eyes shut again.

 

“Hand me my coffee?”

 

She got off the bed and walked to the door.

 

“Nope, you're on your own now. I might even slam the door on my way out”

 

“No! No sound. Silence is golden”

 

She smirked but closed the door carefully on her way out.

 

* * *

 

A few hours later she led Kaidan out of her apartment to drive him home. Part of her felt sad, they'd only just met but she really enjoyed his company. They both got on the bike and his chest once again warmed her back as she drove in a somewhat lower speed then last time.

 

When they arrived outside his house she wasn't sure what to say. She wanted to see him again but since the last part of the night and the morning had turned out kind of weird, she wasn't sure he'd want to. Still, asking couldn't hurt, right?

 

As he got off the bike she cleared her throat.

 

“So... Wanna do something some other time?”

 

She forced herself to look into his eyes as she asked the question, but all she really wanted to do was look away. His eyes looked warm though, and he was smiling.

 

“Sure. Did you have anything particular in mind?”

 

“No, not really. Any ideas??”

 

He didn't answer but bent over his tool and started typing before holding it up towards her own, and just like that she had his number. She reciprocated and looked up into those beautiful amber eyes again. He was still smiling.

 

“How about tomorrow? You wanna hang out?”

 

She was a bit surprised by his enthusiasm and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. Well, the first thing that wasn't about his eyes anyway.

 

“Don't you have a job or something?”

 

His smile faded at that and he looked down at his feet while he cleared his throat.

 

“I... I'm between jobs right now. How about you?”

 

“I'm not between jobs but I haven't heard of anything that needs doing for the moment”

 

He opened his mouth and she dreaded the question about what exactly she did do for the Reds, but he closed his mouth again without a word. Probably for the best. She wasn't really ashamed but she didn't know if he'd realized that she was a criminal. Not an assassin or anything, but not exactly a law abiding citizen.

 

“So... tomorrow then?”

 

He looked uncertain and she had to smile. Why did he look so cute when he was insecure?

 

“It's a date”

 

The moment the words left her mouth she froze. That wasn't how she'd meant it, but he only smiled and started to walk towards the house. The door swung open before he got there and she could see Mrs. Alenko, Mr. Alenko and David Anderson standing inside, obviously awaiting Kaidan's arrival. Both parents dragged him off once inside but David stayed at the door, watching her. She raised one hand in greeting and he did the same, before she gunned the engine and went back to where she belonged.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment even if you didn't like it so I know what I can do better :)

_I was broken and alone,_  
 _I wanna rest my bones_  
 _The sun is shining now,  
_ _But still I'm feeling cold_

**Takida - “Jaded”**

 

 

When she arrived at Kaidan's house for the maybe-date he was already standing outside, leaning against his family's grand car with a small smile on his lips. He was dressed casual, like saturday night, and seemed to have been waiting for her, even though she was ten minutes early. Just the sight of him sent shivers up her spine and she tried her best to ignore it. This wasn't even a real date. At least, she hadn't meant it as a date when she asked him, just to hang out. Casual, with no strings.

 

“You getting on?” She indicated the bike with a wave of her hand.

 

“No. I had another idea”

 

“Oh?”

 

She was curious now. He didn't want her to spend the day here, did he? But then he fished out some keys from his pocked and unlocked the car before getting into the driver's seat.

 

“Come on”

 

She gaped like a fish for a few seconds before she kicked the kickstand down and got off the bike to sit at the front seat of a car that was worth more than her whole apartment and everything in it. She should be paying more attention to the awesome car and the fact that she was sitting in it, but sitting next to Kaidan while he was driving took up all of her thoughts. He smoothly drove them away from the house and she kept her eyes glued to him as he took them towards the city.

 

“Why are we taking the car?”

 

She didn't even realize that the words were out of her mouth before she heard them, she had been too focused on the man driving. _Geez, Shepard, look alive_.

 

“I wanted to drive”

 

“I would have let you drive”

 

“The bike?” He turned his head to look at her before he quickly turned his eyes back to the road. “I don't know how to drive that”

 

They were quiet for a while before he asked

 

“You don't like the car?”

 

She shot him a disbelieving look but he was too focused on the road to notice.

 

“Who wouldn't like the car? I just feel a little... out of place” She admitted.

 

He gave her a small smile.

 

“Well, we're almost there”

 

“And where exactly is 'there'?”

 

“You'll see” He had a smug smile on his face as he drove them slightly outside the city. When they stopped and she saw the track she turned to stare at him in total disbelief.

 

“ _Go kart?!_ ”

 

“Yeah, Why? You afraid of loosing?” He grinned at her and she felt herself grinning back, not able to contain the goose bumps as the nerves gripped her. This was going to be awesome. She'd always wanted to do this but never has the money to spend on it. But the way Kaidan got out of the car and shook hands with the guy in charge, exchanging pleasantries, said he'd already taken care of that. He waved at her to get out as well and she obliged, walking beside him as they made their way towards the track. She caught Kaidan glancing at her and looked up to find him watching her with a worried expression.

 

"Is this alright? I was thinking maybe a vid but..." He trailed off and shrugged.

 

"Are you kidding? This is perfect!" She grinned at him and could see his face light up in response.

 

"Thought you'd like it"

 

They stopped by the karts to get the helmets on before they got in. Athena chose the black and blue one out of habit, leaving Kaidan with the red.

 

"So I know you can drive a bike but I have been doing this for years" He grinned at her with the helmet in his hand. "And I think we should have a bet"

 

She laughed as she got into the car.

 

"So you're telling me you gonna win and then you want me to agree to a bet? I'm not that fucking stupid!"

 

"Why? Think you're gonna loose?" His mischievous smile sent shivers of anticipation down her spine and she smiled at how easily he'd manipulated her. He must have been thinking about this for a while.

 

"I don't loose" she stared into those warm brown eyes calmly and raised one eyebrow. "What sort of bet did you have in mind?"

 

"Looser buys the winner lunch?"

 

"Done"

 

They put their helmets on and when the flag fell both cars shot forward.

 

* * *

 

"I can't believe you won!"

 

Athena snorted with laughter at Kaidan's annoyed expression, he looked like he just found out there's no santa claus.

 

"Why? You already knew I could drive. Thought I couldn't handle anything with more then two wheels?"

 

Kaidan pouted and she laughed at him.

 

"I'm actually good at go kart"

 

"Sure. But I'm better" She grinned at him and after a few seconds he couldn't help but grin back. Not such a sore looser, then.

 

"All right miss I-can-drive-anything, hurt my manly pride if you have to"

 

They got back in the car and Kaidan started driving back towards the heart of the city.

 

"Since you won, where do you want to eat?"

 

Athena shrugged. She didn't really know of any places at this part of Vancouver he was taking them.

 

"Surprise me"

 

He seemed to think for a while before he parked outside a taco place and looked over at her.

 

"This alright?"

 

"Perfect"

 

She loved tacos, but then so did everyone so it was a safe bet. She followed him inside and they sat down at a booth in a corner of the restaurant to get a bit of privacy. As Athena looked at her menu she stole a glance at Kaidan and found him watching her. He quickly looked away and focused his gaze at the menu in front of him, but she could see se the blush that crept up his face and fought to hide her smile. If the warm feeling in her stomach was any indication, she was far too pleased to have found him watching her, and the fact that he'd blushed made it feel like they were fourteen and had their first crush. She might still be a teenager but she had seen too much shit to be behaving like a lovesick puppy.

 

"How old are you?"

 

His head shot up and he looked surprised at the question. He obviously couldn't know where her mind had taken her while watching the menu. The waiter choose that moment to get over to the table and they quickly made their order. When he went to get their drinks, she turned her eyes back to Kaidan, waiting for an answer.

 

"I'm nineteen. You?"

 

"Seventeen"

 

He nodded, like he'd assumed as much. She wasn't surprised either, although she might have guessed at 20.

 

"So... is this going to be one of those awkward first dates where we interrogate each other about our lives?" He said it with an amused tone but she locked on to one word.

 

"I wasn't even aware this was a date"

 

"Well, I took you racing and let you win-" She snorted at that and he grinned "- and now I'm buying you lunch. I'd say that's a date"

 

She looked herself over in mock dismay.

 

"I should probably have worn my high heels then"

 

He laughed out loud and she grinned, glad to have been able to joke it off, but a part of her insides was still burning at the thought that she was on a date with this guy.

 

"Do you even have high heels?"

 

"What kind of question is that to ask a lady?"

 

"I'm so sorry, please forgive me"

 

They were both grinning at each other over the table when the waiter arrived with their drinks, promising the food would be there soon.

 

"So do you? Have any high heels?"

 

"Stick with me long enough, maybe you'll find out"

 

She smirked at him but he just smiled back warmly.

 

"I'll hold you to that"

 

 _It can't be healthy for your heart to beat this fast_. She could actually hear her heart pounding in her ears, something she thought other people made up when they were writing about romance. She struggled for something to say but the waiter with their food came to her rescue and they ate in silence for a while. She was sure the taco was good but she couldn't really taste anything with her mind spinning out of control. He'd as much as admitted that he liked her (as if the fact that he was on a date with her wasn't any indication) and she hadn't answered. She was very intrigued by him; he was fun, attractive and her insides did a little flip whenever she thought of him, but she wasn't sure this was a good idea. They were from completely different worlds and she didn't even know him that well. _Then get to know him, you idiot_. She made up her mind in a few seconds and looked up to see him watching her again but this time he didn't look away, just kept those warm eyes locked onto hers.

 

"I hardly think this is a first date though, seeing as we've already slept together" She grinned as he blushed and ducked his head. "But I wouldn't mind a little interrogation. If we're gonna go into the real stuff though, we should get some beers and go to the beach. More privacy"

 

"Yeah. Sounds like a plan"

 

They smiled at each other and Athena got back to her taco, surprised to find how good it tasted.

 

"This is really good!"

 

Kaidan looked up from his food with an amused gleam in his eyes.

 

"You notice that now?"

 

She shrugged and stuffed in another mouthful that prevented her from answering and he smirked before going back to his own taco. For some reason she felt like he knew exactly where her mind had been.

 

They ate while comfortably engaging in some small talk about the food, the city and their waiter, who kept looking at them kinda weird. Athena was sure the man was waiting for her to pull out a gun and rob the place while Kaidan was sure he was checking her out. They agreed to disagree and went back to the car after Kaidan had payed for their lunch.

 

"You want to get those beers straight away? It's only 2 pm"

 

She bit her lip while thinking. It did seem more like an evening conversation.

 

"Maybe a little later. Be nice to watch the sunset"

 

He smirked at her again.

 

"I knew you were a romantic"

 

"Yeah, I have romantic feelings for the sunset"

 

"So I'm the third wheel?"

 

"Something like that"

 

They grinned at each other before Kaidan started the car and they left the parking lot.

 

* * *

 

They spent the afternoon strolling in the city while eating ice cream and making up stories for people they saw. Athena changed their direction when they got a little too close to downtown eastside and Kaidan looked at her a little funny but didn't say anything. She didn't think he understood what kind of trouble they could get into there, even though he'd experienced some of it for himself. Or maybe he just thought she'd felt comfortable there, which she normally did, but not with him and not in this part. She didn't feel like explaining it at the moment and pretended like she hadn't seen his expression, leading him to a music store she just spotted.

 

"I didn't know you played"

 

She looked up at Kaidan from the guitar in her hands and grinned.

 

"I think there are a lot of things you don't know about me. But yes, I play"

 

"Can you play me something?"

 

She grinned even wider and hung the expensive guitar back on it's rack.

 

"Can't take away all the mystery. Another time" She added when he looked disappointed.

 

When they left the store she looked at her omni tool and was surprised to see the time, it was almost 5 pm. Sunset was around 9, but it couldn't hurt to start early.

 

They got some beer and hot dogs and made their way back to the car.

 

"Where to?"

 

She had already thought of the answer.

 

"Take us back to your house" He stared at her and she elaborated. "So we can leave the car and take the bike"

 

He smiled, making his whole face lit up and she felt as if her eyes were glued to that warm face. The spell was broken when he turned his head to start the car and drove them back.

 

The Alenko house was not the most expensive and fancy house in the neighborhood, not by far, but it had a certain charm and it was a lot bigger then any house she'd even been in. She was wondering what it might look like inside and where Kaidan's room was placed. The house didn't seem as intimidating as it had the first time she saw it.

 

They got out of the car and Kaidan went into the house to grab a backpack to put the food and drinks in. When he came back she was already straddling the motorcycle and answering a message from Joker on her omni tool.

 

“I brought a blanket as well” Kaidan held it up to show her before squeezing their stuff in the backpack and getting on the bike behind her. The now almost familiar warmth at her back made her smile and the bike roared to life under them. She drove towards English bay, but another part then where they had met a few days before, hoping for more privacy.

 

They were lucky – no one else was there. She turned the bike off and they spread the blanket out on the ground and sat down. Kaidan handed her a beer and for a few minutes they just sat there and looked out over the water, both lost in their own thoughts.

 

“Alright, ask away”

 

She was brought back to reality by Kaidan's voice and realized he wanted her to start asking questions in their 'first-date-interrogation'. She took another sip of her beer and then she asked the question that had bugged her for days.

 

“Why where you in that alley?”

 

He hung his head down and she could see that he thought of the answer.

 

“I'm not really sure. To get into trouble, I guess” He said at last.

 

“Why?”

 

“That's... a long story”

 

“We have time”

 

He gave her a weak smile before he started telling his tale.

 

“My mother was downwind of a transport crash when she carried me and I was exposed to eezo in the womb. I'm a biotic” He didn't look at her, just kept staring out over the water and seemed to be waiting for her to say something.

 

“You can move shit with your mind? That must be cool!” Alright, maybe not the most eloquent response but she didn't know what else to say. His head snapped around and his eyes focused on hers. He looked surprised.

 

“You gonna be afraid of me now?”

 

“Why would I? You gonna toss me around like a rag doll?”

 

He let out a surprised laugh.

 

“Not unless you want me to”

 

“Hmm... I might have to think about that” She smiled wickedly and he smiled back for a few seconds before he turned his face towards the water again.

 

“Actually I don't use my biotics anymore”

 

“Why?”

 

He sighed and got back to telling the story.

 

“When I was fifteen I was hauled to jump zero, the space station, with a couple of other kids. Conatix rounded up children and teenagers that had been exposed to eezo and not gotten brain tumors to see if they had any biotic potential. Our instructor was a turian named Vyrnnus and we 'disliked' each other from the first day. He didn't like humans in general and pushed us hard, some of the others couldn't take it. One day he broke a girl's arm when she reached for a glass of water instead of using her biotics. She was a friend and I don't know what I was thinking but I stood up, and he attacked me instead. When he drew a knife I lost control, hit him with a biotic kick in the face. Snapped his neck”

 

Kaidan got silent and kept staring out over the water, probably not seeing anything. Athena didn't know what to say. He was obviously hurting over what happened and she didn't know any words that would make it better. Instead, she shifted closer and put her hand on his shoulder. He turned his face towards her and she could see the pain in his eyes.

 

“I killed him, Athena”

 

He'd never said her name before. It took a second for her to focus on the conversation instead of how her name sounded coming from his mouth.

 

“You wanted to defend a friend. That's honorable. It was an accident. And he was obviously a dick”

 

He managed a weak chuckle and she smiled at him, wishing she knew what to say to make it better. This was not what she had in mind when she suggested the beers and private place. She knew she would have to tell him about what she did for a living but she had not expected him to have a story like _that_ in his baggage.

 

“I still killed him”

 

“It was an accident” She repeated and looked into his eyes, holding his gaze. “Accidents happen”

 

He just looked at her for a few seconds, as if to make sure she was sincere, before he smiled a warm smile.

 

“Thank you. I've never told anyone that story”

 

She was suddenly very aware of how close they were sitting and that she still had her hand on his shoulder. She cleared her throat and put the hand back in her lap, don't really knowing what to do with it.

 

“Was the girl alright?”

 

“Rahna? Yeah, she was fine. Didn't really talk after that, though. She was afraid of me”

 

The tone of his voice suggested that this girl might have been more then just a friend. How someone could be afraid of Kaidan was beyond her, he was like a cozy golden retriever. Or a teddy bear, warm and cuddly.

 

“After that they shipped us all home and 'encouraged' us not to speak of it” He shrugged “I was in a bad place and I've never really gotten out of it. Things go well for a while but then it all comes back. Sometimes I just can't stand being around people who knows nothing about it and thinks the next party is the only thing to worry about. You know?”

 

“Yeah”

 

She did know. She'd starved on occasion when she was younger and being around people who had no idea of the realities of life could make her nauseous.

 

“So to answer your first question: I was in that alley to get away”

 

She nodded but didn't say anything for a while, thinking about what he'd just told her.

 

“Your turn”

 

He studied her for a while before asking his question.

 

“Why did you help me?”

 

It was not the one she'd prepared for and she suspected that she gaped like a fish for a few seconds before she got her bearings.

 

“You needed it”

 

He raised his eyebrows at her and she decided that since he'd poured his heart out to her she might as well reciprocate.

 

“I had been on a job and saw you lying there. I was gonna walk past and leave you to avoid trouble for myself but... I had a friend when I was younger who got beat up and knifed by a couple of guys from another gang. We didn't know where he was and we searched, but by the time we found him it was too late, he'd bled to death. If someone had helped him he would probably have lived. Such a stupid thing. Seeing you lying there just reminded me of it and I couldn't just walk” She shrugged, feeling very uncomfortable talking about this. But then again, Kaidan sure hadn't enjoyed telling her his tale either.

 

She looked up to see him watching her. He looked thoughtful as if he was processing what she had said. After a while he nodded like he understood and asked the question she'd dreaded.

 

“What job had you done?”

 

She fought the urge to wriggle her hands in her lap and sat motionless while she pondered her answer.

 

“Guess you could say I'd been spying on another gang. The Reds, the people I run with, had been screwed on a delivery. We got a tip that one of the other gangs had put some of the stuff up for sale and we needed someone to check it out discreetly. You don't start a gang war without confirmation”

 

“Did you find anything?”

 

“No, nothing. But that doesn't say much, they could have hidden it well”

 

“So that's what you do for the Reds? Spying?”

 

He was probing, and his careful expression hid his true feelings, which scared Athena a little. She didn't like not knowing what he was thinking, but he had been honest with her about his past and she had to do the same. Thing was, this wasn't just her past but her present too.

 

“Among other things. Look, I'm not a cold blooded killer or anything but I am a criminal. Stealing, spying, smuggling, drugs. It's all fair game when you have to fight for survival. I don't regret anything but that doesn't mean I'm proud of it”

 

She looked straight ahead and drank more of her beer. She was afraid to see the look in his eyes because she didn't know how much of this was news to him and how much he'd already guessed.

 

“Have you ever... you know, killed someone?”

 

Her head snapped to the side to stare at him. Killed someone? What sort of person did he think she was? Before she blurted out that exact sentence however, she remembered that he _had_ , even if it had been an accident. No need to rub it in.

 

“Never killed anyone or beaten anyone that didn't start it”

 

He nodded and they both turned their gaze towards the water for a few minutes. Weird enough, the silence wasn't stifling, more like comfortable. Even though they had just told each other their most intimate secrets. Well, some of them anyway.

 

“Where are your parents?”

 

Full of questions, wasn't he.

 

“I'll tell you about that but then it's my turn with the interrogation!” She smiled to take the sting of her words and he smiled back sheepishly.

 

“Sorry, I'm just curious”

 

“Alright. Never knew my dad and lived with my mother, only one day she disappeared. I was four. When no one picked me up at kindergarten they tried to reach her but never found her. After a few weeks living with one of the other families that had a kid there, I was shipped off to the orphanage. Met Joker there. Five years later we ran away when it was clear we weren't gonna get adopted. No one wants a nine year old kid, and we started stealing and pickpocketing, sometimes begging. Then I tried to steal the wallet of the leader of the Reds” She smirked at the thought. “Got caught of course, just my luck. Anyway, he was impressed that I'd gotten it out of his pocket without him noticing and offered to give us a job. At that time we would have done anything for the promise of a warm place to sleep and food, but I doubt he would have just let us go if we'd refused” She shrugged to try to appear casual. She didn't like this walk down memory lane. “And that's my whole story”

 

She forced herself to look into his eyes and ask the question that had been eating away at her for the last few minutes.

 

“So, you gonna run now you know what I do for a living?”

 

He looked genuinely surprised.

 

“No. Kinda guessed that's what you do”

 

“Yeah but guessing and knowing for sure are two different things”

 

“I'm not running, Athena” Her eyes snapped back to him as he said her name for the second time that night. His brown eyes locked onto hers and he lifted his hand to put a lock of her hair back behind her ear. She shivered at the touch and prepared to lean in closer towards him when her stomach grumbled loudly. They stared at each other for a few seconds before they both started laughing, chuckling at first but then it grew almost hysterical. _Of all the times to be hungry..._

 

When they finally managed to calm down Athena's belly was hurting for laughing too hard.

 

“I guess we should go collect some driftwood so we can eat”

 

“Sounds like a plan”

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

 _Well, I've got two tickets to the game  
_ _It'd be great if I could take you to it this Sunday  
_ _And I'll walk you home when the whole thing's done  
_ _If you're there, I don't even care which team won  
_ _We can stop at the coffee shop  
_ _And make fun of the cops in the parking lot  
_ _We can laugh as we both pretend  
_ _That we're not in love and that we're just good friends_  

**Nickelback - “Don't Ever Let It End”**

 

 

“Shep”

 

She turned in her sleep, not wanting to wake up. She was way to sleepy to wake up, it couldn't have been more then a few hours since she went to bed and even then she didn't fall asleep at once.

 

“SHEP!”

 

She jerked awake, only to drop back down onto her pillow with a groan when she saw Joker sitting in front of her bed, grinning.

 

“When did you come home?”

 

“You really don't know anything about personal boundaries, do you?”

 

“Why? Might there have been someone else here?” His grin got even wider.

 

“No, you jerk! Because I'm sleeping and would like to continue doing so”

 

She resolutely pulled the covers over her and turned around so she had her back to Joker.

 

“Sooo, how did the non-date go?”

 

“Perfect, will you leave?”

 

“No”

 

She sighed and turned back towards Joker, fixing him with a murderous stare and his grin got even wider. He knew her better then to be intimidated, she'd never hurt him of course, but once in a while it would have felt good to just punch him.

 

“Why are you pestering me about this? Awfully girly of you. Next you'll want to braid my hair”

 

“Just curious. Want to know if he took you to see some sappy vid” He shrugged.

 

“Fine. Go karts, then lunch, then walking around, then the beach and beers. Happy?”

 

“Go karts?!” Joker jaw dropped and he looked really envious of the fact that Athena had got to do something he'd wanted for years but could never afford.

 

“Yeah” She looked smug on purpose and hoped that might be enough to make him leave but he just leaned closer, a mischievous look on his face.

 

“Think he wanna go on a date with me?”

 

Athena started laughing even though she was still mad at him for waking her.

 

“Don't think you're his type”

 

“Too bad” Joker sighed dramatically before rising from the chair, not bothering to put it back in the kitchen. Just before he was out of the door he paused and turned.

 

“So, who won?”

 

Before Athena could answer the question with a proud response, her omni tool buzzed with an incoming message and her face cracked into a smile when she saw who it was from.

 

“Yuck, that look on your face is making me nauseous” Joker said as he stepped out of her room, not bothering to close the door. Athena made a rude hand gesture towards his back before she went back to Kaidan's message.

 

_Up yet?_

_\- Kaidan_

 

She smiled and her belly did a little flip when she though of the almost- kiss yesterday, the moment that her traitorous stomach had stomped on. Ah well, there would probably be another time. They had laughed it off and collected wood for a fire that they used to cook their sausages, and then they watched the beach as it got darker and darker around them. They had stayed there until well after midnight, talking about everything and anything and finding out stuff about each other. Athena had driven him home and he'd attempted to sneak in and not wake his parents, but she had no idea if he'd succeeded.

 

_Yeah, Joker just woke me. What are you doing?_

_\- Athena_

 

_Nothing, just couldn't sleep. You wanna grab lunch?_

_\- Kaidan_

 

_More like brunch? Sounds great._

_\- Athena_

 

She realized she'd been holding her breath when she waited for his answers and slowly let it out. She couldn't believe the amount of butterflies that was fluttering in her stomach, it was absurd. She'd not been this weird about a guy since her childhood crush when she was ten, and considering how _that_ had ended, she was not too thrilled about the butterflies being back. _Although it feels kinda great._

 

_Pick me up?_

_\- Kaidan_

 

Athena smiled and typed a quick 'Be right there' before she jumped out of bed and into the shower. She went into the kitchen to drink some water and found Joker sitting at the table, checking his omni tool.

 

“Heading out?” He asked without looking up.

 

“Yeah”

 

“Kaidan?”

 

“Yeah”

 

“You're about as talkative as me” He finally closed the omni tool and looked over at Athena, gesturing for her to pour him a glass as well. “Got a message from Eric. We're gonna do a raid on the LS to get out stuff back”

 

Athena paused with the glass halfway to her mouth. The Lost Sons were the gang that they suspected had stolen their merchandise no more then a week ago.

 

“I found nothing when I searched their place”

 

“Well, apparently Eric and the others wanna check it out for themselves” He looked up at her with a frown. “Gonna be dangerous”

 

Athena handed him his glass while she nodded absentmindedly. In her head she was going over the layout of the LS's base and the possible places they could have stored the goods where she hadn't found it.

 

“How do we know they haven't pawned it off already?”

 

Joker shrugged

 

“No idea, ask 'Eric The Mastermind'” He said and rolled his eyes, making Athena chuckle.

 

“He does think he can rule the world, doesn't he?”

 

“Sure does”

 

“So when is this all going down?”

 

“Sunday. They figured we need time to prepare, and if we hit early enough they might still be passed out drunk”

 

She nodded and washed her glass.

 

“Well, I'm heading out. Be back in a few hours”

 

“Yeah. I'll start tinkering on the Beauty, get her ready to get your asses out of the fire if things go bad”

 

She waved at him and headed out the front door, wondering if she should say anything to Kaidan about this. She decided not to, she didn't even have any details yet. But she would have to meet up with some of the others later and go over the details. She sighed, feeling like she somehow had a little black cloud following her.

 

Kaidan was already waiting when she stopped the bike in front of his house, holding a bag. He smiled at the sight of her and she couldn't help but smile back, despite the troubles at home.

 

“I made a few sandwiches and I thought we might eat them on the balcony”

 

Her eyebrows shot up.

 

“Here?”

 

“Yeah. I mean, if that's alright” He looked at her nervously and shifted his feet. “We can go somewhere else if you want”

 

She thought it over for a second, but all the reasons she'd had for not wanting the enter the house before seemed to have disappeared.

 

“Sure, why the hell not”

 

She swung off the bike and he beamed at her as they walked up the driveway together.

 

The house was really nice, but not overly fancy. Everything was clean enough that she didn't want to touch anything for fear of leaving a mark, but Kaidan's obvious delight that she wanted to come in was worth it. They made their way upstairs to the balcony and the view made her draw in a quick breath. They could see English bay from here and it would probably be absolutely beautiful at sunset.

 

“Yeah, it's quite a view”

 

Kaidan had seen her looking and held out a sandwich to her as she sat down on the floor beside him. She had no idea why they were sitting on the floor instead of the chairs nearby, but chose not to question it. They were sitting much closer then they would have been in separate chairs so she wasn't about to complain.

 

The sandwich was tasty and the view and Kaidan were awesome, but she felt disconnected to it all and her mind kept wandering back to what Joker had said. She really needed to talk to Eric. And she needed to tell Kaidan about it at some point, if not the whole truth then at least an explanation to why she would be so busy the following days. Even though he said that her running with a gang didn't bother him, it was a big difference in telling him things she'd done in the past and things she was about to do.

 

Kaidan was asking her something and she hadn't payed attention at all, being lost in thoughts.

 

“I'm sorry, what -” Her omni tool chose that moment to ping loudly and she started. Kaidan looked at her weird and she realized that she was jumpy as hell, and he could probably tell.

 

_We need to talk. Be here in one hour._

_\- Eric_

 

She sighed. No time like the present.

 

“I'm sorry Kaidan, I'm a little distracted. I have some work to do for a couple of days and I won't be able to meet up for lunch like this” She caught his suspicious gaze and quickly added “I'm not blowing you off! I just got a lot to do for a while”

 

“What's happening?”

 

“Remember I told you about some goods that disappeared?” He nodded and she took a breath before continuing, deciding how to phrase it. “We gonna look into it some more, see if we can find it and get it back”

 

She wasn't lying, that was exactly what they were going to do. Just a tad more violent then she just described it. _Then why does it feel like lying?_ She bit her lip waiting for his response, but he just shrugged and took another bite of his sandwich.

 

“Alright. Any idea when you'll be done?”

 

“Should be done by monday. But I'll have the nights off, we're just preparing”

 

 _Please don't ask what we're preparing for_.

 

“Yeah okay” He suddenly looked uncomfortable and she felt her heart sink. This was it. He was going to ask a bit too much and then he'd freak out. Even with brain camp, he had no experience with this sort of thing except from vids and had no idea that this wasn't as unusual as it sounded. As a matter of fact, she'd been part of a couple of raids and they were always dangerous. Not like they ran in guns blazing or anything, more like fist fights but then there was the occasional blade involved, usually just to scare but you never knew.

 

“Cause there's this party here on friday. A couple of my friends are coming over, it's one of the guys birthday, and I kinda wanted to ask if you would like to come”

 

Athena stared at him in shock. That was so not what she had expected him to say. Kaidan was looking everywhere except at her and still seemed really uncomfortable. He wanted her to meet his friends? Sounded pretty reasonable seeing as he'd already went out with hers. She could get away for one night, right? Joker would cover for her otherwise.

 

“Okay, sounds fun”

 

He finally looked at her and his happy smile made her own face light up just by looking at it. He shifted a bit closer and put his arm around her shoulder. She froze for a moment in surprise at the contact before relaxing and resting her head on him. His arm was warm around her and she wanted to close her eyes and stay there, forget about all the rest. Unfortunately, Joker had other plans.

 

_He's in a shitty mood. Don't make him wait_

_\- Joker_

 

She sighed but made no move to get up. Kaidan had turned his head to look at the message over her head and his breath was warm against her scalp.

 

“You have to leave?”

 

“Yeah. Soon. Not yet”

 

She could feel him smile into her hair and they stayed there, on the floor of the balcony with the beautiful view, for several minutes before Athena sighed and untangled herself. Time to work.

 

* * *

 

“Someone finally saw fit to arrive” Eric's snide comment made her good mood from earlier disappear entirely.

 

“I'm not late”

 

“You're here last”

 

“Still, not late”

 

He scowled at her but didn't answer and turned towards a display on the wall to start the meeting. Athena glanced around and saw all the familiar faces. Most of them didn't deign to notice her but Dave gave her a smile and a nod and Johnny and Jade, the two J's, waved. She moved to stand next to Joker and he gave her a frown for being last and she responded by rolling her eyes.

 

Eric brought up the layout of the LS's base and started pointing out the possible places where they might have stored the goods. Athena only listened with half an ear, as she already knew the blue prints by heart after her scouting mission. She wanted to ask how he could be sure the goods were there and hadn't already been sold but thought it better not to push her luck. She almost jumped when Eric turned towards her with a question.

 

“Which of these places did you manage to check out?”

 

Athena stepped forward and pointed them out one after one.

 

“I obviously couldn't get to anything in the basement since I didn't have security clearance but they usually store all their stuff in this shed here and I found nothing there”

 

“Unless, of course, they knew we were gonna be searching for it”

 

She shrugged but didn't answer and stepped back to stand beside Joker again.

 

“We've snooped around and nothing have been sold yet so we know it's all there somewhere” _Well, that answered that question_. “We have to do a lot of scouting these coming days. We need to find out how many they are, how their shifts work and how to get into the base. We also need to figure out escape routes and the best way to handle it all. Leave that last part to me. And the most important thing: _you must not be seen_. Anything that could tip them off to our plans could lead us to walking into a trap and then there's _your_ asses on the line. Got it? Good. Yennie will have your assignments”

 

Eric left the room and they all crowded around Yennie who read up their assignments from a list. It was nothing surprising. Athena, Dave and Johnny were put on the recon team, Joker on transportation and Jade on tech.

 

When they left the building Athena heard her name being called and her heart sank when she recognized Eric's voice. He was coming towards them and still seemed to be in the same pissy mood as before.

 

“I heard you got yourself a boyfriend”

 

Athena's jaw almost dropped onto the floor at this statement but she managed to control her expression. Who in hell would be stupid enough to tell Eric something as personal as _that_? Not that Kaidan was really her boyfriend, but whatever! She spared a quick glance for those around her and saw Dave shifting his feet and looking very uncomfortable.

 

Johnny and Jade had been a couple since forever, meaning that Dave often hung out with Athena and Joker when the two J's wanted to be alone. Athena considered Dave to be her next best friend, but sometimes she just wanted to _strangle_ him.

 

“What's it to you who I fuck?” The best defense is a strong offense. Although Eric didn't seem to care.

 

“I don't care who you fuck as long as you're here for the ride. Don't forget who saved your sorry ass on the streets all those years ago. You owe me. Don't mess this up”

 

“It's not a problem” Athena was furious that he'd try to get involved in her personal life and showed it by her rigid posture and clenched fists, but he was as calm as ever and just smiled back.

 

“That's all I wanted to know”

 

He turned and walked away.

 

“Come on”

 

Athena was seething and didn't even glance back to see if they were following, just started walking back to hers and Joker's apartment. Once they were all inside she rounded on Dave like a hurricane, forcing him to take a step back.

 

“What the _hell_ was that?! You told him?!”

 

Dave backed away from her fury and held up his hands to show his surrender.

 

“I didn't mean to! He asked me where you were and I just said you might be with Kaidan! It just slipped out, I'm sorry!”

 

She turned around and paced the room in anger, clenching and unclenching her fists.

 

“I didn't think it was a big deal until he cornered you back there...”

 

She was still mad at Dave but he looked so miserable standing there with his head lowered and his hands at his side. She knew he'd never do anything to hurt her on purpose, he was just impulsive and did things without thinking about the consequences first. She sighed, walked over to him and put her hands on his shoulders, making him look up at her.

 

“It's fine. Nothing will probably come of it”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note that my boyfriend pointed out to me. Lost Sons is apparently an MC club, but not in this story! I just came up with the name for the gang and I have terrible fantasy with this kind of thing so I didn't change it. You make me very happy with your kudos and comments! :)


	8. Chapter 8

_Together we stand  
_ _Well, it's just you and me  
_ _So baby hold on and you'll see  
_ _Forever we stand  
_ _And we'll make it through  
_ _'Cause I know I can't live without you_

  **Skid Row - “Forever”**

 

The past few days had been rough. Most of the people in the Tenth Street Reds had been up at dawn to do their tasks and prepare for the raid as best they could, not going to sleep until late in the night, but for the people in the recon team it was worse. They needed to scout night as well as day and they didn't have enough time to rest much in between. Luckily, Athena had managed to take as much of the shifts early in the week, meaning that she'd get the night off and wouldn't be needed until midday tomorrow for the final brief and sharing of the plan.

 

She thought the one in charge of the recon team, Yennie, knew that she was gonna go and visit Kaidan since she wriggled her eyebrows suggestively at Athena, but she was more easy going then Eric and probably wouldn't tell. Actually, what did it matter if she did? Athena wasn't breaking any rules and she'd done her work already. What she did in her free time was none of their damn business.

 

To be honest, she was more worried about this party at Kaidan's house she was about to go to. She had no idea what she was supposed to wear, what his friends were like and what he'd told them about her. Should she dress like she used to or was she supposed to be in heels and a dress? Despite what Kaidan had thought earlier, she did own high heels and a dress. She just never wore them.

 

In the end she decided to wear what she felt comfortable in. Kaidan didn't seem to mind and if his friends did, tough luck. Black jeans, a green tank top that matched her eyes and a pair of riveted black boots. She arranged her long red hair into a ponytail and put on the same light smoky makeup she always wore.

 

After staring at herself in the mirror for a few more minutes she frowned at her girly behavior and stepped out of her room, only to be greeted with cheers from the guys in the kitchen. Only Joker had been there when she started the hour long what-the-hell-am-I-going-to-wear-session, but now Dave, Johnny and Jade were there as well. She put her hand on her hip and glared at them but none of them were intimidated, just chuckled at her. Joker raised her eyebrows and looked her over with a smirk.

 

“So, after an hour in there swearing, you come out looking like you always do”

 

She narrowed her eyes and stared at Joker, who tried to adapt an innocent expression.

 

“You telling me I don't look good enough?”

 

“Good enough for rich kids who have their own pool and wear suits? Probably not”

 

_He abandoned the innocent attitude before he even started._

 

“You look really good. Wouldn't be you if you were wearing some dress” Dave smiled warmly and she almost smiled back, but then she frowned.

 

“I can't tell if that's a pity compliment or a 'forgive me' compliment”

 

“Neither, I swear” Almost as an afterthought he added “But you have forgiven me, right?”

 

This time she actually laughed. Dave was like a puppy, sweet and innocent. He never did anything to harm you intentionally and when he accidentally did, he felt really bad. She could never be mad at him for long.

 

“What will you give me if I say yes?”

 

“A beer?” He held one out to her and smiled that crooked smile of his.

 

“Then yes”

 

Joker sighed audibly. “Why aren't all girls that easy to bribe”

 

They all laughed and Athena threw the cap of the beer bottle at him. She seated herself at the table among the others. She didn't have to leave for a few minutes.

 

“So, what about this raid, huh? Should be pretty exciting!” Dave beamed at the thought of being some sort of hero and Athena shook her head and looked down at her beer. _The heroes never survive, Davie._

 

“You've read too much romantic stories, Dave. Realty are never like that. I don't like this at all” Johnny was always more down to earth and Jade nodded an agreement to his words.

 

“I just want to do do my usual shit and get paid. I don't intend to die for the Reds” At her words, Johnny slung his arm over her shoulder and hugged her.

 

They were both afraid, Athena thought. And with good reason. Anyone going into a raid where the other side might or might not be prepared for it should scare anyone sane. Dave wasn't insane though, but he couldn't see the reality of it. He just thought of the reward if they got what they wanted and not of the price to be paid. Athena believed herself and Joker had pretty much the same outlook on the whole thing, that they had to do this, it was their job but they didn't have to like it. Get in, get out. Survive. She sighed and finished her beer before getting up from the table to leave.

 

“Thanks guys. After your depressing company I actually look forward to this party”

 

* * *

 

 

When she rode the bike towards Kaidan's neighborhood she thought about the conversation with her friends a few minutes earlier. How was it possible for her to be worried about a party when they had a life threatening situation only a day and a half away? Maybe it was a good thing, something to take her mind of reality for a few hours. The party had already managed to do that, hadn't she spent an hour debating on what to wear?

 

She frowned and drove a little faster, arriving at Kaidan's house within minutes. Several cars were parked in the driveway and she maneuvered the bike in between them to block it from view from the outside. No one in this place would probably want to steal it, but anyway. The cars were as fancy as Kaidan's parents car and once again she wondered if she should have dressed differently, but then she saw Kaidan walking towards her, a smile on his face, and all the thought of clothing went out of her head.

 

She swung her leg off the bike and was greeted with a hug that made butterflies flutter in her stomach. He had strong arms that held her tight and was a few inches taller then she was, causing her head to rest on his shoulder. After a few seconds they broke apart and when Athena looked up at him, he looked about as flustered as she felt. They hadn't seen each other since the brunch on his balcony a few days earlier, she'd been too busy to sneak away. They had messaged, of course, but it was a lot different then actually meting in person, and she realized with a pang how much she'd missed him. He gestured with his hand for her to follow and started walking around the house towards the back.

 

“We're outside, thought we'd have barbecue for dinner”

 

He smiled at her, and from the way he didn't seem able to take his eyes off her, he had probably missed her too. She walked beside him, suddenly feeling less nervous now that she'd seen him and was genuinely happy that she'd decided to come. This was a good distraction.

 

She felt like she'd been introduced to a hundred people, but in reality it couldn't have been more then twenty. They all looked at her differently, some seemed interested, others wary. It didn't matter, she didn't come her to make friends, just to see Kaidan.

 

After all the introductions, Kaidan went to get her a beer and as she stood by herself, one of the guys came over to talk to her. His name was Oliver, she remembered, and he looked a bit like Dave, tall and blonde with a mouth made for smiling.

 

“Hey, brought you a beer”

 

She looked down in surprise and saw that he was indeed holding two bottles.

 

“Thanks”

 

She took a long swig of the drink, noticing that he was watching her the whole time. He didn't seem creepy, though, just curious.

 

“Ask away”

 

“What?”

 

She chuckled at his surprise and he smiled sheepishly before answering his own question.

 

“Was I that obvious?”

 

“Yes”

 

They were both grinning now and he took another drink before asking his first question.

 

“You're live downtown?”

 

“Yes”

 

“You get into much trouble?”

 

She laughed. He wanted to know how close to the truth his vids were. There was no reason to crush the boy's fantasy.

 

“All the time”

 

He laughed as well. “You're just saying what I want to hear”

 

“I'm dead serious” She tried to keep her face severe, but failed and they were both laughing as Kaidan approached. She turned towards him as he came to stand next to her and thought she noticed a shadow over his face for a second, but that couldn't be. He could not be jealous. _Though it would be kinda awesome if he was._

 

“I see you already got a beer”

 

“Can never have too many” She smiled at him and searched his face again for a trace of that shadow but it was nowhere to be found, he just smiled back his normal, warm smile.

 

“You still think so after last saturday?”

 

“Ended up in the same bed didn't we? Not too bad” They both laughed and Kaidan's face looked a bit redder then before. Oliver looked like he didn't know if he should go or stay, poor guy.

 

“We decked after a concert, we were really wasted” She felt the need to explain it to Oliver since he looked like he wanted to run, thinking they were talking about something other then sleeping. “Oliver was just asking me about life downtown”

 

Kaidan rolled his eyes and Oliver quickly defended himself.

 

“She told me to ask! I've never been there, how am I to know?”

 

“You can come with next time a good band is playing. It's never far between”

 

Oliver's eyes widened and both Kaidan and Athena had to laugh at the happy look on his face.

 

“That would be awesome! What music do you listen to?”

 

“Rock, hard rock and metal, mostly”

 

“Me too!”

 

“Good, then you'll enjoy both the music and the splendor of downtown eastside”

 

They all laughed at that and started to move towards the grill, their mouths watering at the smell of the cooking meat.

 

* * *

 

 

Athena was actually having fun. She always had fun with the guys at home but they mostly did the same thing, go to concerts and drink on the beach, and meeting new people was interesting. She really did like Oliver. He'd been hanging out with her and Kaidan the entire night and at some point a couple of others had joined them. Two girls named Marie and Jennifer and a short guy called John. They were currently sitting on a blanket outside the large house, close enough to the grill that they didn't get cold.

 

Kaidan had been sticking to Athena's side the entire night and she wasn't complaining, every smile he gave her made her whole body tingle and she felt like a small girl. An alarm started in a part of her head every time it happened but she blatantly ignored it. She'd earned some fun, and right now she couldn't think of anything that would be able to destroy this.

 

After some more discussion it became clear that Oliver and Athena liked the exact same music and they sat discussing it for so long that Marie finally said enough. Athena stole a glance at Kaidan and saw that shadow on his face once again, and she had to force herself not to smile. It was so cute that he was jealous of some random guy she talked to for a while. Once again she came to think of how much of a _boy_ he was.

 

He suddenly got up and walked over to a nearby tree, resting his back against it. Athena was a bit surprised by his sudden move and frowned before she got up and walked over to stand beside him.

 

“Hey” She nudged him with her shoulder and smiled at him and he smiled right back and leaned a little closer to her. “Why are you standing over here?”

 

“Needed a little quiet”

 

“I'll shut up”

 

He chuckled and nudged her shoulder back. “That's not what I meant”. They stood there quiet for a while, watching the stars, before Kaidan blurted out something he'd obviously been thinking about.

 

“Oliver likes you”

 

She started and looked at him. It was too dark to be certain, but she could have swore that he was blushing. She knew what he meant, but decided to walk carefully anyway. She couldn't believe he brought it up as blatantly as he did, but if he wanted to play this game she'd participate.

 

“I like him too. I like most of your friends, they're cool”

 

“That's not what I meant” He fidgeted on the spot and now he was definitely blushing. “He _likes_ you... as in more then a friend”

 

Kaidan looked so uncomfortable with the topic, even if he was the one who had instigated the conversation, that she couldn't help but smile at his obvious jealousy. He wanted her to confirm that she didn't think of Oliver that way but he was too chicken to ask her flat out, instead hoping she'd tell him on her own.

 

“Well, he's not bad looking and he's nice. Good taste in music too” She knew she was mean but she just had to leave him hanging there for a little while, he was so cute when he was embarrassed. Kaidan hung his head and she resisted the impulse to laugh. “Too bad I'm already into someone else”

 

His head shot up and he looked at her with a childish glee in those puppy eyes of his, it almost made her laugh again but she kept her careful expression, not wanting to give anything away. _Oh wait, I think I've seen this moment in a sappy vid!_

 

When she didn't say anything else, Kaidan tried to get her to elaborate.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah. He's kinda cool. Very handsome. And nice. But I'm not sure he really likes me. I mean, he hasn't even kissed me yet. Seems to get jealous when someone else likes me, though”

 

Athena kept her eyes forward but she could feel his eyes on her and she smirked. Was he going to rise to the bait?

 

“What an idiot”

 

Two could obviously play this game.

 

“Nah, he's not so bad”

 

“I'm sure he'll have kissed you before the night is over”

 

Her smirk got wider and she turned towards him, stepping a bit closer.

 

“Is that a promise?”

 

Instead of answering, she could see Kaidan's gaze darting between her eyes and her mouth as his tongue peeked out to moisten his lips. He stepped forward slowly and Athena could hear her heart pounding in her ears, sure that it would jump out of her chest at any moment. _Jeez girl, it's like you've never been kissed before._

 

He brought his hands up to cup her face and she closed her eyes when she could feel his hot breath against her mouth. When his lips finally pressed against hers, she felt like her blood was storming inside her veins, rushing in her ears, and her stomach doing some weird flip. His lips were soft and warm, and he was kissing her carefully, not wanting to deepen it in case she'd want to break it off.

 

She had no intention of breaking it off, and ran her hands up his back, pressing him closer to her. She opened her mouth and trailed her tongue along his already parted lips before snaking it inside his mouth to tangle with his own. The feeling when their tongues met felt like an electrical shock and a small whimper left her throat as his hands tightened around her head, one hand traveling back to bury itself in her hair.

 

She pressed herself against him, wanting everything he could give her. The kiss had turned demanding and she could feel his arousal against her hip, exciting her even more. She didn't want the kiss to end, but she needed to breathe, so after several seconds she pulled back, but not out of the embrace. She rested her forehead against his and they stood like that for a while, breathing hard.

 

Yes, this was a very good distraction.

 


	9. Chapter 9

_Standin' on your mama's porch_   
_You told me that it'd last forever_   
_and when you held my hand_   
_I knew that it was now or never_   
  
**Bryan Adams - "Summer Of '69"**

Athena listened to Eric with half an ear, still thinking about the events of last night. If she brought her fingers up to her mouth she could still feel the way Kaidan's lips had felt against her own, still smell the faint fragrance of his cologne. Just thinking about it made those damned butterflies return. There had only been that one kiss even though she'd desperately wanted to kiss him all night, but Oliver had found them and wanted to play cards and they didn't have a good excuse to decline.

 

She sighed and tried to listen to what Eric was saying about the raid. This was really important and a part of her was ashamed that she hadn't said anything about it to Kaidan last night. She had planned to at the beginning of the party but then she'd had so much fun and she didn't want to ruin the mood. After the kiss she had completely forgotten about the raid until she came home and was reminded by Joker.

 

They would hit the LS's base tomorrow at 5 am, while the others were hopefully sleeping or drunk of their asses. If the plan worked out they wouldn't even have to fight them, just sneak in and take their stuff out of the basement, where they were quite certain that their goods were located. _But seriously, when does it ever go as planned?_

 

“Any questions?”

 

Athena started as she realized that Eric had finally stopped talking and she hadn't really listened. _Jeez, girl_. She had to ask Joker if she'd missed something.

 

No one spoke up and Eric told them all to go and make sure they were well rested til tomorrow.

 

“And if I can smell alcohol on anyone of you tomorrow, I'll kill you”

 

Athena rolled her eyes as the stupid threat. Of course none of them were gonna risk their life and drink before a raid, but Eric always had to make ominous threats.

 

“Don't roll your eyes at me, Shep. I own your fucking ass”

 

She bit back her angry retort at a look from Joker and a slight shake of his head. No reason to get them all in trouble. She just shrugged and left, Joker limping after her as fast as he could. Suddenly, she wanted to drink a few beers just to be defiant.

 

Joker spoke the moment they got inside their apartment, before Athena had a chance to say anything.

 

“Sorry. But no need to get him more riled up”

 

Athena sighed and dropped into a chair.

 

“I know, he just pisses me off. He's got it in for me, I promise”

 

“I know. But he can make our lives a living hell”

 

“Isn't it already?” Athena muttered and got a surprised glance from Joker before he sat down across the table.

 

“And here I thought I was the cynical one”

 

“Sorry. Just angry at this whole thing. It's been such small jobs for so long, I kinda forgot the hard parts”

 

“I know what you mean”

 

They sat there quiet for a while, both lost in their own thoughts. Athena kept thinking about the raid and getting a bad feeling about it. Joker would drive some of them there and back, and he'd be their escape route if something went wrong. He could drive that car of his like no one else, but he was pretty fragile and she didn't like him getting into this. If they crashed the car for any reason, he'd probably break most of his bones even if it was a mild bump for the rest of them.

 

“You could get out, you know”

 

Joker's head snapped up at her comment.

 

“What?”

 

“You could get out. Join the Alliance, if you want to. Or get a job driving. You turn eighteen in two weeks, you know. I could pay for food and such until then. You wouldn't have to be in the raid”

 

He stared at her with an intense gaze and she thought he might hit her, his fists were so clenched that his knuckled had turned white.

 

“You think I'd leave?!”

 

She shrugged, very uncomfortable with the anger in his voice. He was never angry at her.

 

“Just wanted to put it out there”

 

“This is about the Vrolik's again, isn't it?”

 

Athena fidgeted in her seat. She knew this was a sensitive topic and hadn't meant to upset him, just trying to protect him. But he didn't want to be protected, never had.

 

“No. Yes. Just... I'll want to leave when I come of age, and you turn eighteen almost a year before I do. You don't have to stick around if you don't want to”

 

“Like I'd leave you here” She looked up at him questingly. This wasn't the normal witty Joker, this was the man behind, that so rarely came out.

 

“You wouldn't last a day” He added sarcastically. They both knew it wasn't true.

 

She didn't know if Joker believed her explanation or if he was just ashamed of his outburst and tried to smooth it over, but she was grateful anyway. She always felt the need to protect him and knew he hated it but she couldn't help herself. He was like a brother.

 

It was a tricky situation. She'd be relieved if he decided to leave, because this gang with Eric in charge felt like a ticking time bomb. It hadn't always felt like that, but now they were so close to becoming legal adults, and she'd thought about it for the last two weeks and decided that joining the Alliance would suit her. When she turned eighteen, but that was still a while away. Not for Joker, though.

 

But at the same time, she'd be heartbroken if he left. They had lived together for so long, she couldn't even imagine how it would be in the apartment, or the Reds, without him. And she knew he felt the same, even though he never said it. _I'm such a hypocrite, I'd never leave if the roles were reversed._

 

“I know” She answered even if they both knew it was a lie.

 

“Would they even take me?” There was a pained note in his voice and she felt a pang of guilt. What if they wouldn't? She'd just assumed they needed people for everything, that they could use a pilot or a driver that didn't have to use his legs as much as a regular marine. She'd have to ask David Anderson.

 

“Haven't asked, actually. But why not? You don't need legs to fly”

 

Joker nodded but looked somber and she wanted to kick herself. The only thing she'd accomplished was to make him miserable and if things went south tomorrow, this might be their last night. _Don't even think that._

 

Without a word she brought up her omni tool and pulled the card from Anderson out of her jacket. She had been so sure she would never use it, now here she was.

 

_I need to talk to you. Still on earth?_

_\- Athena Shepard_

 

She prayed he'd be able to answer soon and wasn't disappointed. Merely a few minutes passed before her omni tool pinged.

 

_Yes. Where do you want to meet?_

_\- David_

 

She thought for a moment and then typed back the location on the beach where they'd accidentally met more then a week before.

 

_I can be there in an hour_

_\- David_

 

She smiled at the message, relieved that she'd get to ask him before the raid.

 

“That him? The Alliance guy?”

 

Joker nodded at her omni tool to indicate the message exchange.

 

“Yeah”

 

He nodded and smiled a bit. He didn't have to say anything, she knew he appreciated her looking out for him and he'd always wanted to fly. She only hoped Anderson would be able to give her a definite answer. She knew Joker wouldn't leave before she could anyway, but it might give them something to look forward to. A future.

 

* * *

 

She was early, pacing back and forth, kicking the sand while she waited for Anderson to show up. She was nervous but didn't know if it was because of the raid or because of the answer she might get. She heard steps behind her and turned around to see Anderson walking towards her. She smiled at him, completely devoid of her previous caution around him. Maybe Kaidan's easy behavior was rubbing off on her. He looked a bit relieved at her smile and she realized he might have thought she was in trouble.

 

“Hi. Thanks for coming”

 

“No problem”

 

They fell in beside each other and walked down towards the water. Athena didn't know how to begin, 'I need a favor' seemed a tad demanding since she hardly knew him. She decided to make it more of a general question.

 

“I have a question. About the Alliance” Anderson nodded to show that he was listening and to encourage her to go on. “Would the Alliance admit someone into flight school who might not be able to fill the requirements to become a marine? But who would be able to fly without problem”

 

She didn't look at him as she asked, but stared out over the bay instead. As much as she wanted his answer, she dreaded it. What if he said no? What would Joker do then? What would she do? If Joker decided to stay with the Reds she'd probably stay too.

 

“Are we talking about your friend with the crutches?”

 

“Yes”

 

“What's wrong with him?”

 

“He has a disease. Vrolik's syndrome, brittle bones since he was born. He can get around but not run and stuff. He's an amazing driver though and always wanted to fly” This time she kept eye contact to try and see what was going on inside his mind.

 

Anderson shrugged “As long as he can do his job without problem and can go through basic weapon training it shouldn't bee an issue”

 

Athena could have kissed him. But she settled for a hug, which seemed to surprise him. Understandable, seeing as she was a bit cold the other times they'd talked, but he snapped out of it and hugged her back.

 

“Thanks. I was really worried you'd say no”

 

“Is something the matter? Why are you so worried about this now?”

 

She let him go and averted her eyes from his searching gaze. She hadn't told Kaidan and she didn't want to tell him, he'd just worry, or worse: Kaidan might find out from him.

 

“No. Just... he turns eighteen soon and I kinda put the thought in his head. Would have felt really bad if he hadn't been able to join up”

 

She was sure he could see right through her but thankfully he didn't comment on her lie.

 

“Does that mean you're going to join up as well?”

 

She laughed softly. Still trying to recruit.

 

“Maybe. Been thinking about it”

 

“Kaidan change your mind?” There was a twinkle in his eyes that said he knew what had been going on, but she still sputtered a few unrecognizable words before she found her tongue.

 

“What makes you think that?”

 

“Just heard he's spending a lot of time with you. 'Smitten' is the word I believe his mom used”

 

Anderson's grin was wide, and at his words, Athena couldn't help but copy his expression. _Smitten, is he?_

 

“We've been hanging out. He's cool” She shrugged and tried to appear nonchalant, but the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth gave her away. “Anyway, I gotta get back”

 

Anderson nodded with a grin. “Let me know if you have any other questions, otherwise I might see you around”

 

She could tell he was grinning as he walked away, and shook her head but she couldn't get rid of the smile on her face. The old man was growing on her.

 

* * *

 

The people in the car on the way to the LS's base were quiet as everyone was thinking about their own stuff. Athena was sitting shotgun next to Joker and glanced his way every now and then, happy to see that he had a small smirk on his lips. When she'd told him what Anderson had said he'd hugged her and beamed but said nothing, not that he needed to. She was happy as well, even more so for bringing him good news on the eve of the raid.

 

An idea had started to form in her mind of them both joining up when she turned eighteen, leaving their old life behind for a new one without leaving anyone behind. Dave would want to join as well but probably not Johnny and Jade. It would be fine either way, she and Dave would be in basic together and that would be awesome.

 

Suddenly this raid seemed a little less grim. Joker looked her way and they smiled at each other, thinking of the same things.

 

All too soon they arrived in the vicinity of the base. They didn't drive all the way for obvious reasons, but they were close enough. Athena, Dave, Johnny and Jade got out of the car but Joker stayed put. He would wait there until they came back.

 

“Good luck”

 

She nodded back to him as the other two cars arrived and their people got out to join them.

 

“Let's go”

 

They followed Eric and Yennie as they led the way towards their goal. Athena had been around here so much these last few days that the base felt very familiar, almost as their own, but only from the outside. Inside they had to hope that their assumptions and blueprint of the buildings would be enough to guide them.

 

Just like their own headquarters, it consisted of one large building and apartments around it, but there were always people sleeping at the base as well. And there were alarms that they would be in real trouble if they set off. Athena wasn't a techie and had no idea how to disable the alarms, she had to trust that Jade and the other two knew what they were doing.

 

The sun had started to rise and they were all dressed in grey to stay as invisible as possible in the morning mist. It felt eerie as they all walked quietly towards the doors, glancing around to make sure no one was watching. They were all bearing knifes but they almost never had to draw one. Eric and Yennie both had a gun on their hip, but it was most for show, Athena was sure they'd never fired on another human. Almost sure.

 

Jade and the other two techies walked up to the door and started fiddling with their omni tools while the rest of them looked around, preparing to warn the others if they saw someone. Luckily they didn't, and the door opened without a sound or alarm. Athena let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding and Eric motioned the recon team to go through the door first.

 

They got in and stopped for a while to let their eyes adjust at the sudden darkness. When she could see again, she could tell that the building looked exactly the same inside as they'd thought. _Thank god._

 

They moved towards the basement since that was the most possible location for the wares and was confronted with the same alarm system as outside, but Jade and the others rushed forwards to get rid of it. If the goods were in the basement they wouldn't have to go in to the central room where there were probably people sleeping, and maybe avoid detection. Athena didn't relish the thought of having to fight their way out of here.

 

She swore under her breath as they entered the basement, the place was filled with crates. How the hell were they supposed to know which was theirs without having to open them all? There was nothing else for it and they started moving around to silently open them and peek inside. After what felt like hours, Eric's voice could be heard in the eerie silence.

 

“Here”

 

They all moved towards a crate in the back where Eric was crouched and he smiled as he turned towards them, triumphantly holding a bag in his hand. Luckily for them, it was a small crate but Eric counted the bags of red sand and nodded at them, signaling that it was the whole shipment. They took the bags quickly, all of them equally eager to get out of there, and moved back outside quietly.

 

Athena had finally started to think that maybe, just maybe, this time things would go according to plan when a shout to the right of them made them all jump and look around. A guy was standing outside one of the apartments and had already brought a hand to his omni tool to wake the whole place up.

 

Athena exchanged a quick glance with Dave beside her before they both started sprinting towards the cars, and all the others followed. They had an escape route planned for the cars to throw the chase off, but if the LS's managed to block them Joker would have to improvise and none of the drivers were familiar with this neighborhood.

 

The shouts behind them had multiplied and Athena could tell that they were about to be chased through the streets. She just hoped Joker was ready to go, and as they rounded the last corner she saw to her great relief that the cars were already started and turned the right way. She sprinted to Joker's car and threw herself inside, hearing Dave, Johnny and Jade getting in behind her, as breathless as she was.

 

“Go!”

 

She didn't have to tell him twice. Joker stepped on the gas and their car shot forward before any of the others, neatly maneuvered through the snug alley and out on the open road. They had almost let out their sighs of relief when another vehicle shot out of a street to their left, with the obvious intent to cut them off and force them to stop.

 

“Hold on!”

 

Athena had never seen Joker look as concentrated as he did in those terrifying few seconds when it looked like were going to crash right into the oncoming car. She was dimly aware of Jade's shriek of fear but all her focus was on Joker, who stepped on the brake and turned the steering wheel hard, making the car spin 180 degrees. With one hand on the gear shift and one hand on the steering wheel, he made the car speed back in the direction they'd come, then making a sharp turn to the right.

 

Athena lost count of their direction with the furious driving, the other car was still tailing them but falling further behind with every turn thanks to Joker's skill to maintain high speed in the sharpest of curves. When they finally came out onto the highway, Athena knew they'd won. Joker had spent a lot of time tinkering on his baby to make sure it could outrace any other, and she wasn't disappointed.

 

They sped away at a speed that would have scared most people shitless, but they'd ridden with Joker for years and knew he could handle it. He drove them around a little more before going back to their base and they all breathed out a relieved sigh when they finally parked. Joker's head dropped onto the steering wheel as the others made their way out of the car, legs shaking. Athena leaned forward and put her hand on his arm.

 

“You alright? That was some crazy driving”

 

He chuckled but it sounded forced.

 

“Yeah. Always have to rescue your sorry ass”

 

She laughed and he smiled back, looking much better. He seemed shaky and a bit high on adrenaline, like the rest of them. Athena gathered up the bags with the drugs that were scattered in the car and went to give them to Yennie, who was standing outside her own car putting up a brave front, but she was betrayed by her shaking hands when she accepted the bags.

 

Suddenly, Athena felt more tired then she could remember ever feeling before and made it back to their apartment, only to be greeted by loud music and beers. Apparently, Dave and Joker felt the need to party it all away, even though it was 8 am on a sunday. Tired as she was, she couldn't help but laugh at their enthusiasm.

 

She got some coffee and joined in the celebration as more of the gang showed up. Suddenly, there were a lot of people in their small apartment, even Eric showed up for a quick visit, and was actually civil against Athena for once. He must either have used some of the merchandise or he was still high on adrenaline.

 

Joker was glad to be alive and to have gotten them out of there, retelling the car chase again and again, embellishing it more every time. Dave was practically jumping up and down, telling all who would listen how he would be a big Alliance hero and do this kind of thing all the time. Athena didn't know if she should laugh or cry.

 

* * *

 

Athena groaned as her omni tool beeped to wake her. She had been too tired after the party the day before to go and see Kaidan but she'd messaged him and they were going to meet up for lunch. She had decided to tell him about the raid and she was worried about how he'd take it.

 

With a sigh she got up, took a shower and dressed before going out in the kitchen to make some coffee. The apartment was silent, Joker was probably still sleeping. She slipped out as quietly as she could and rode her bike to Kaidan's house, the road very familiar at this point. As usual, he was waiting in the driveway, in his black jeans that she'd told him she liked and a smile on his face as he saw her. _Smitten, Anderson had said._

 

The thought warmed her insides and she smiled back as she parked the bike. She noticed the nice car was nowhere to be found. As soon as she had swung off the bike he was there, hugging her and seeking her mouth with his own. It was a sweet kiss, nowhere near as demanding as the first one and she wasn't about to let it progress to that point either, not before they'd talked anyway.

 

After a few seconds she broke the kiss and stepped back, regretting it even as she did it but she needed to come clean first. He looked a little confused but she smiled and motioned towards the house.

 

“Balcony?”

 

He nodded and took her hand as they headed inside. His sweet manners made her heart ache and the thought of not telling him and just go with it crossed her mind, but she immediately shook it off. She was not like that and this was important. She wasn't leaving the Reds for a while yet and if this was going to work he needed to know what she did, in more detail then she'd told him last time.

 

Kaidan got some leftovers out of the fridge and warmed it while they engaged in some small talk. He didn't try to kiss her again, he had probably sensed that she had something on her mind but didn't pressure her, waiting her out instead.

 

They sat down on the floor of the balcony and started eating their lasagna, but she didn't notice any taste. Too caught up in her thoughts and figuring out what she was going to say. After a long silence she decided to just do it. He'd either come to terms with it or he wouldn't, but sitting here drawing it out didn't help anything.

 

“I have to tell you something” He looked up at her words but didn't seem surprised. Just like she suspected, he'd noticed that something was off. “We did a raid last night. On another gang. To get the goods back. It was kinda dangerous but no weapons involved, and they found us just as we were leaving and then there was a car chase, but Joker was driving so we made it out fine” She said it all in one quick breath and waited for his response.

 

His eyes widened and he opened his mouth without a word coming out. Okay, she hadn't meant to be _that_ blunt but when she started talking it just came out. His eyes hardened and her heart sank. _Oh fuck_.

 

“You lied to me”

 

“I didn't lie!” She protested and was sure he could hear the desperate tone of her voice. “I didn't! I told you we were going to try and find our goods and get them back, and that's what we did” She almost winced at the lame excuse and Kaidan narrowed his eyes.

 

“You didn't tell me it involved a fucking raid!” He jumped up and started pacing. _Oh my_. She'd never heard him swear like this before, it was disturbing that it was directed towards her, but it was _hot_.

 

“I know. I should have, I just... I had only heard it from Joker when we had brunch and I didn't want to say anything until I'd heard the plan. And then we didn't see each other before the party and I had planned to tell you then, but I had so much fun and just wanted to forget about it for a while...” Her voice trailed off after her rambling and she wasn't sure what else she should say. “And I didn't want you to worry”

 

She stood up and rested her arms on the railing.

 

“This is what I do. I can't stop just because I'm worried about what you might think, but that's the reason I didn't tell you. I'm sorry, though, you deserved to know”

 

She could feel him coming to stand beside her even though she kept her eyes straight forward, looking at the water. She couldn't remember ever being this tense in a social situation, it felt like all her senses were enhanced and she could smell him and feel him even though they weren't even touching. _Why aren't we touching? Why is he standing so far away?_

 

Panic started to build in her chest and she didn't know what to do. R _un, get out before you get in too deep._ But from the tightening in her chest and they way her feet refused to move, she knew it was already too late.

 

Suddenly he sighed and spoke, freeing her from her paralyzed state.

 

“I can understand that. But I'd really like it if you'll tell me when you're planning to do something like that from now on. I think I deserve to know when my girlfriend is involved in a raid”

 

Her head snapped up and she stared at him. His... _what?!_

 

“ _Girlfriend?_ ” The words came tumbling out of her mouth almost without her notice and he looked a little taken aback.

 

“Well, yeah. Aren't you?”

 

She had to think for a moment, she'd never been anyones girlfriend before. But they had kissed. And she liked him. And Anderson had said he was _smitten_.

 

“I guess. Just hadn't thought about it” She realized how it sounded when she saw a sad look in his eyes and reached out for his hand without thinking. This conversation had just taken an unexpected turn. She squeezed his hand and smiled at him.

 

“I'd really like to be, though”

 

He gave her that amazingly warm smile and stepped in close to hug her. She took a deep breath and relaxed in his arms, feeling at peace.

 

“So we're good?” She mumbled into his shoulder, kind of ruining the moment but she had to make sure.

 

“Yeah” He rested his cheek on the top of her head and she could tell he was smiling.

 

She hugged him harder and felt his arms tightening around her as well. She tilted her head up to find his lips, suddenly thinking again of how hot he'd looked when he paced around the balcony and clenched his fists. He was always so calm and understanding, seeing him like that excited her more then it should have.

 

She found his lips with her own, and felt a surge of need when he kissed her back as desperately as she kissed him. Their tongues were dancing against each other and he pushed her into the railing so hard it would probably leave a bruise on her back but she didn't notice. In that moment it was only him, only this.

 

When they broke off for air, both of them were panting. He was still pressed against her and she had her hands on his back to keep him there.

 

“Do you want to go inside?” He gestured with his head towards the door without breaking eye contact and she nodded, not able to find her voice. The butterflies were back once again as he smiled and took her hand to lead her inside.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the first reason for the E rating (bumped it up from Mature because I wasn't sure). Sexual content, and Shepard is still technically a minor (seventeen), just so you know. Please leave comments and kudos and thanks to those of you that already did!

_Oh baby, you're the only thing in this whole world,  
_ _that's pure and good and right.  
_ _And wherever you are and wherever you go,  
_ _there's always gonna be some light_

  **Meat Loaf - “Bat Out Of Hell”**

 

Kaidan led her down a hallway and into a room that she could immediately tell was his, by the boyish look of it with blue walls and datapads scattered over the desk. She glimpsed a few model ships in a corner and hoped she would get the chance to examine them later, but for now, her focus was elsewhere.

 

Kaidan turned to face her as soon as they were inside the room. He was still holding her hand and looked around nervously, shifting his feet. He seemed to have lost his nerve the moment they entered his room, like he'd never showed it to anyone before or he was worried about what she'd think.

 

“So... yeah. This is my room”

 

“I like it”

 

She wasn't about to wait for him to make a move and closed the distance herself, running her hands up his chest to reach his neck and pull him in for a kiss. He seemed more then happy to let her take the lead and placed his hands on her hips, pressing her against him.

 

She didn't know what excited her more, his awkwardness that showed this wasn't something he did lightly, or his obvious desire as he pressed himself against her. She ran her hands through his hair as she began to walk him backwards towards the bed, kicking their shoes off as they went, and his hands travelled up and down her back like he couldn't decide where to put them.

 

When they reached the bed she extracted herself from him for a moment, and he got her meaning and sat down on the edge, bringing her with him so that she was straddling his lap. Athena kept kissing him and slipped her hands under the hem of his shirt, wanting to be as close to him as she possibly could.

 

His skin was warm against her hands and as she was trailing her fingers up his back, he suddenly pulled away a little bit to get his shirt off, exposing a tanned upper body with a hard stomach and a well defined chest. Her eyes raked over his body, drinking him in and when her gaze met his, she could see that he was smiling, even though he was breathing hard.

 

She was breathing heavily as well and when he put his hands under her shirt she pulled it off, leaving her in a simple black bra. He stared at her with open admiration for a few seconds before he leaned in to kiss her again and run his hands up her sides.

 

Athena put her hands on his chest, feeling the muscles beneath and couldn't believe how much she wanted this. She had been thinking about making out with Kaidan, even sleeping with him, since they met but she had never imagined something this intense. She pressed her hands harder on his chest, urging him to fall backwards on the bed so she was lying on top of him.

 

His eyes were wide and the way he looked at her, like she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, just made her want to give all of herself to him. She unclasped her bra, and squirmed as he put his hands on her breasts with nothing in between. His hands felt like fire on her sensitive skin, and the sounds he made, like low growls in his throat, only made her even more aroused.

 

She bent down to kiss him once again. His tongue wrapped around hers and with the low groans he made, she was sure he was enjoying it as much as she was. She let her hands travel down to his pants and undid the zipper and the button without a thought, letting her hand slip inside his boxers.

 

Kaidan let out a loud gasp as she ran her fingers up his length, causing him to press into her. He suddenly took command of the situation and flipped her onto her back, pressing his body against hers with a growl. Athena felt a wave of desire washing over her. _He wants me really bad._

 

He stood up on to get his pants and underwear off, and she could only stare at him. He was muscled, but not overly so, and his eyes... those eyes made you want to drown in them and right now they were filled with a need that made Athena go crazy. She had been with a few other guys but none of them had made her feel like this.

 

Her hands went down to her pants to try and get them off, and with Kaidan's help, she soon was as naked as he was. She could see him scanning her body and she let him look. She usually didn't put much thought into her looks and she'd never felt insecure about it before, but now she suddenly wondered what other girls he might have been with and if they'd been beautiful. But when his eyes finally met hers they were filled with both desire and that usual warmth that were always there when he looked at her.

 

She reached up to kiss him once again and moaned as she felt him press his body against hers. He suddenly broke the kiss and pushed her away a little, looking breathless, and confused, but _so_ adorable.

 

“You're not... are you?” His voice was even lower and more husky then usual and sent a shiver down her spine.

 

She got his meaning before he had to spell it out.

 

“Virgin? No. Are you?”

 

“No”

 

“And... can we expect your parents anytime soon?”

 

“No. they're at work. Won't be home for hours yet”

 

He said the last part while reaching over to the bedside table and getting a condom out of the drawer. When he sat back he put it on but seemed unsure of how to continue and just sat there looking awkward and nervous and Athena couldn't help but giggle even though it was the worst possible time. He just looked so _adorable_.

 

“What?” His sounded annoyed at her reaction and for some reason that was even funnier and she started laughing for real.

 

“You... you look so cute” She managed to force out between fits of laughter, and even though he still looked annoyed that she'd called him cute at a less then desirable time, she could see a wry smile playing on his lips. At last he chuckled as well and surged forward to make her laughter stop with a forceful kiss that made her forget what had been so funny.

 

She arched into him and wrapped her legs around him, moaning into his mouth as his hands travelled up and down her thighs.

 

Kaidan broke the kiss and locked eyes with her as if asking for permission before he guided himself inside her slowly, both of them gasping at the sensation. They stayed still for a few seconds before they both started to move at the same time, broke off and tried again.

 

They bumped their noses a few times and moved out of rhythm awkwardly until they found a pace and angle that worked for both of them.

 

The look on his face and the way his body felt against hers, and inside her, made her whole body tremble. She couldn't take her eyes of him, all handsome and fierce above her, and she usually was one to close her eyes in these kind of moments. She could feel her climax nearing and let her head fall back on the bed, all the while moving her hips to try and force him to a faster pace, but he was relentless.

 

“Kaidan...”

 

When she said his name he made a deeper thrust and put his thumb onto the bundle of nerves right above where they were connected and the repetition of his name turned into a moan in her throat. She could feel herself heading over the edge and shouted out something, but she wasn't sure if it was his name or a confession of love or just nonsense, as her whole world shook and wave after wave of pleasure rolled over her.

 

It was a few seconds later before she came back to it and found him lying on his elbows above her, panting. She threw her arms around him to press him closer and he relented, sinking into her. They lay there for a few minutes before his weight started to bother her and she squirmed. Kaidan jumped up at once, always the gentleman.

 

“Sorry”

 

“Don't be. I liked having you there” She grinned at him and he grinned back, but his cheeks were a little red and it made her heart do a little flutter in her chest. She loved how easily embarrassed he was, even though they'd just had sex.

 

Then, they heard the front door open.

 

“Kaidan?”

 

They both froze at the sound of another voice in the house and stared at each other in complete terror for a second, and then quickly scrambled off the bed and reached for their clothes. She had all her clothes on but her shirt, which she couldn't find anywhere. _Shirt, shirt, where the hell is my shirt?!_

 

Athena just manged to find it halfway under the bed and drag it on before the door opened and Kaidan's mother appeared in the doorway. From the faint shout from the floor beneath, Kaidan's father had tried to discourage her from going up.

 

Athena made her best effort to put on a innocent expression and look like nothing was wrong, not daring to even glance in Kaidan's direction for fear of bursting out laughing. Kaidan's mother's eyes darted between Athena and her son, and she pressed her lips together in a tight line. She didn't look surprised to find Athena in their house, but they would have seen her bike in the driveway and realize that she'd be there. _She does not look happy to see me, though._

 

“Mom. What are you doing home?”

 

Kaidan's nonchalant tone sounded terribly forced and Athena dared a quick glance in his direction. He had managed to get his clothes on as well, but the bed behind him was a mess, there was no way anyone would believe they'd just sat on it.

 

 _This would be an awesome time to get a message, a reason to get the hell out of here. Joker, Dave, hell, even a message from Eric would be welcome right about now_.

 

But when she looked towards Kaidan again she felt bad. He was so uncomfortable with the whole situation, she couldn't just leave him to deal with it alone. He had called her his girlfriend, time to act like it.

 

“We came home for lunch, your father had forgotten some important paper at home” Mrs Alenko kept glancing in Athena's direction and she decided to do the girlfriend thing and stepped forward, holding out her hand.

 

“Hi Mrs Alenko, nice to see you again”

 

She had to work to keep a straight face as she shook the older woman's hand. This was so not her area of expertise. If anyone in the Reds could see her now, making nice to a guy's mother only minutes after sleeping with said guy, they'd laugh themselves to death.

 

“You too”

 

Athena managed to keep from snorting at the obvious lie but she couldn't help the small smile that was tugging at her lips and the harder she fought not to laugh the harder it seemed to get. This was the most ridiculous situation she'd ever been in.

 

As if to add insult to injury, two more people stepped through the now open door and, as she saw Mr Alenko and David Anderson taking in the entire scene quickly, eyes darting from Kaidan to the bed to Athena, she had to hide her grin with her hand. When she saw the smirks on both men's faces as they realized the situation and Kaidan's horrified expression, her shoulders started shaking with barely contained mirth. She didn't dare look at anyone for fear of starting to laugh out loud.

 

_I have to get out of here or my ribs might crack!_

 

“Kaidan. Athena”

 

Anderson nodded to them both and looked like he was trying to hold his laughter in as well before heading downstairs with Kaidan's father not far behind him, who half led, half dragged Kaidan's mother with him. Before the door closed behind them, Kaidan and Athena could hear Anderson laughing, and at the sound she couldn't hold it in anymore and started laughing like she'd never laughed before, almost crying and she had to sit down on the bed, not trusting her legs.

 

“It's not funny!”

 

Kaidan still looked mortified and she forced herself to stop laughing, if only to make him feel a little better.

 

“Sorry” She couldn't help her mouth from twitching though, and after a few seconds Kaidan started to chuckle as well.

 

“Alright, it was a little funny. But mostly embarrassing. I'm really sorry about my mom, she must have seen your bike and known you'd be here”

 

“Yeah. She didn't seem happy to see me at all”

 

Kaidan groaned and dragged his hand over his face.

 

“She's probably gonna force dad to ambush me with 'The Talk' as soon as you leave”

 

Athena giggled, the thought of Kaidan having that conversation was hilarious.

 

“At nineteen, I think you're a bit too old for 'The Talk'”

 

“Not according to my mother”

 

Athena smiled. _The upside of not having any parents_.

 

“No time like the present, then” She got up from the bed and gave him a hug and a chaste kiss before pulling back. “I should go. I promised the others I wouldn't be gone for long”

 

“Alright”

 

Kaidan followed her down to the bike, and Athena almost had another fit of laughter when she waved goodbye to Kaidan's parents and Anderson as they walked by the living room to the front door.

 

When she was seated on the bike, Kaidan kissed her again, but just as light and short as the last one. His mother might be watching from a window, Athena wouldn't put it past her.

 

When she drove back home she couldn't help the smile that broke out at the thought of the whole situation. She couldn't wait to tell Joker, he'd laugh himself senseless.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took so long to get this out. I wrote the chapter, then rewrote it. Then rewrote parts of it. I never seem to be completely happy with it so now I'm just publishing it anyway! Please let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!

_Swore to never ever leave you  
_ _To never let you out of my hands  
_ _Nothing here could ever change this  
_ _A promise 'til the living end  
_ _I never meant to be a liar  
_ _The shame is cutting into my skin_

**The Exies - “Stray”**

 

She had been right about Joker finding the 'situation' with Kaidan's parents hilarious, he laughed so hard she was worried he might choke to death. She couldn't help but laugh as well when she thought of it, but she was worried that Kaidan's mother might try to stop them from seeing each other.

 

Kaidan hadn't answered her messages until later that night and he'd told her that his parents had talked to him for hours about her being underage and that Kaidan's mother didn't think Athena was the right girl for him. She'd felt a surge of anger at that last part but Kaidan had seemed just as mad that his mother had tried to interfere and that calmed her down a bit. But it was official: Kaidan's mother did not like her one bit.

 

Athena didn't care what Mrs. Alenko thought of her as long as she didn't try to come between them. But from Kaidan's reaction she knew she didn't have anything to worry about.

 

They decided that it might be good to lay low for a while and Athena should probably not show up at the house, but that didn't keep them from seeing each other. Kaidan came over to Athena's apartment a few times and hung out with her, Joker and the rest of the guys, but Athena felt a bit on edge every time he was there. She was always worried about running into Eric when Kaidan was there, for fear of what he might do or say. It wasn't forbidden to bring someone from outside the gang to your apartment, all of them did that from time to time, but if Eric somehow found out about Kaidan's, and by extension Athena's, connection to the Alliance, things could escalate. He already seemed to have it in for her, though she had no idea why.

 

When they wanted to be alone for a bit they went to the beach. They usually brought some food and beer and a blanket and sat there watching the sunset, often ending up making out under the blanket, but they didn't dare do anything more in a public area, even though they were alone, and the lack of real alone time was frustrating for both of them.

 

A whole week went by like that, with Kaidan's mother coming home at all hours and calling him when she couldn't actually be there. It was getting increasingly annoying but they decided to play along since having a shouting match about it wouldn't solve anything, and worse: that might trigger Kaidan's dad to side with the mother. He had refused to say anything more on the subject since 'the incident' and they were both very grateful for that.

 

They were lying on the beach under a blanket and cuddling when Athena's omni tool pinged. It was from Joker, but it only contained a few words and none of their usual banter.

 

_Get home now_

 -  _Joker_

 

Athena immediately jumped up, startling Kaidan who had begun to doze off.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Joker told me I had to get home. It looked serious” She said as she put her shoes back on and started searching for her jacket.

 

“I'm coming with”

 

Kaidan had got up and put on his shoes as well. Athena hesitated for a moment, she didn't think it was a good idea to bring Kaidan home if something had happened. Maybe Eric was looking for her? But she couldn't just leave him there either, since they'd taken the bike he had no way to get home if she left and she didn't feel like taking a detour to his house before figuring out if Joker was okay.

 

“Alright”

 

She was on the bike in a heartbeat and soon felt his familiar warmth against her back. It calmed her down a bit and she took a deep breath before starting the bike and beginning the short drive home. Even though it would only take a few minutes, she had to fight the urge to speed way over the limit. Only the fact that she had Kaidan behind her made her restrain herself.

 

Her head was spinning. It could just be Joker thinking it would be fun to worry her and he'd snicker when she came rushing home, but somehow she didn't think so.

 

Her heart sank as they drew close and saw everyone darting around, obviously working on something. It reminded her of the activity a few days before the raid and she sighed. Would they be doing another raid? Was that what this was all about?

 

As she parked the bike, she got a lot of dark glances from the people rushing by and she frowned. That was weird. Not that these people usually greeted her with a hug or anything, but now they seemed downright hostile. She looked at Kaidan, who seemed to be picking up on the strange atmosphere and he gave her a worried glance.

 

She was tense as a bowstring as she gestured for him to follow her to the small apartment, hoping Joker and the guys would be inside. As she opened the door they all turned around. Joker, Dave, Johnny and Jade were inside and she felt s small wave of relief that Eric wasn't there. Didn't last long though.

 

Dave stepped forward and hugged her, and she hugged him back, being very confused. Johnny and Jade got to their feet as well but by then she had seen the way Joker was cradling his left arm in his right hand and she rushed by them. She knew that posture well after all their years together.

 

“What happened?” She asked as she sat down beside him and studied his broken forearm with her eyes, not wanting to touch him before she knew how bad it was.

 

“The Lost Sons attacked us”

 

Her head snapped up at his words and she stared at him open mouthed, not knowing where to begin asking the questions.

 

“They just came in with two cars, but every one of them were carrying guns” Dave stepped in to explain it and she turned her eyes on him. “They spread out and did a search before we even knew what was happening. We think they found the bags we took from them but they didn't take anything with them. We were all in the base and some guy pushed Joker when they rushed by, breaking his arm”

 

She was overwhelmed but all the other questions could wait for a bit, she had to find out how Joker was doing.

 

“How bad is it?” She turned towards him again and tried to read his expression but his face was set in a firm mask that concealed all pain.

 

“Not too bad, only a small fracture. Just broke the arm when I stopped the fall”

 

It could've been way worse, Athena grimly thought. Joker winced as she gently probed around the wounded area.

 

“I think we should go to the hospital”

 

“No way, It's not that bad and we don't have the money” He got a stubborn expression and she knew he probably wouldn't give in but she had to try. He would never let on if it was a serious fracture and she couldn't tell.

 

“We have the money. Come on”

 

“No” When she narrowed her eyes at him, he waved his uninjured hand in a direction towards the door and continued. “That's not even why I told you to get back. Eric was looking for you. He was mad as hell, raving about you never being here when we need you. He's only gonna get angrier the longer it takes him to find you” He suddenly frowned and got an almost worried expression. “I hope he just wants to yell at you. Since you know, if he beats you to death it's my fault for calling you back” He tried to brush it off as a joke but his smile didn't reach his eyes and the tone of his voice was strained.

 

She snorted, it was the stupidest thing she'd ever heard. One, Eric would never kill her. Beat her, yes, but never kill. As much as he liked to pay tough, that wasn't his style. And two, how in hell would it be Joker's fault? She would have come back home eventually anyway.

 

“He won't kill me. And even if he did, it wouldn't be you fault, dickhead”

 

She saw the amused glitter in his eyes and congratulated herself on turning his frown upside down.

 

“Bitch”

 

She chuckled, as did all the others.

 

“Who's Eric?” Athena almost jumped, she'd completely forgotten that Kaidan was there and from the surprised look on the other's faces, they had too. She quickly debated with herself whether she should tell him or not, but it seemed shitty not to, especially now that he'd heard Joker say Eric might kill her. He shifted nervously under everyone's stare before Athena answered him.

 

“He's the leader of the Reds. And he doesn't like me”

 

“That's an understatement” Joker muttered as he adjusted his trademark cap.

 

She shot Joker a warning look. No need to worry Kaidan even more.

 

“He's just been on edge lately, and he would never actually kill any of us” She tried to smooth it over but Kaidan still looked very worried. Even though it was a serious situation she just wanted to go over and kiss him until he smiled again. _That will have to wait_.

 

She turned back to Joker, his arm was priority one in the list of things to sort out. As she sat down beside him, he moved his hand so she could perform the usual routine check they'd come up with over the years. Bending and stretching the elbow joint and the wrist and carefully probing the arm to find the fracture and check if there were more then one. They both knew he could do this himself but there was an unspoken agreement that she'd do it as well every single time. She needed to check it out for herself and he let her, even if it meant more probing on his broken arm.

 

When she was satisfied with the check up, she proceeded over to the drawer where they kept the bandages and wrapped his arm quickly but firmly to stabilize the bone. It wasn't as good as a plaster cast but it would have to do since he refused to go to the hospital.

 

When it was done she looked up at him as he flexed his fingers and he nodded to show that it wasn't too tight. She brought him the painkillers that they kept for emergencies and a glass of water. _Okay, problem one fixed, time to take care of the rest_.

 

She took a deep breath before turning back to Dave.

 

“So they didn't take anything? Just scouting?”

 

Dave nodded, and Athena said what they were all thinking.

 

“That means they'll be back”

 

No one had anything to say to that and they all stood quiet for a while before Athena broke the silence again.

 

“And Eric is looking for me?”

 

“Yeah” Joker was squirming in his seat, and that alone was disturbing, making her even more wary of Eric's wrath. “He was fucking furious. Don't know where he is now though. But you should try to find him before he gets even more worked up”

 

“Sounds like a plan, I - “ Athena jumped as the door banged open to reveal both Eric and Yennie standing in the doorway, both looking angrier then she'd ever seen them.

 

 _Fuck_. Maybe Joker hadn't been wrong after all, they did look furious enough to kill someone.

 

Athena stood her ground as Eric charged in and stopped with his red face an inch from her own, but she had to fight the urge to take a few steps back. Or run.

 

“Where the _fuck_ have you been?!” Eric's voice was only a low whisper but it in the quiet room it carried like thunder. Before Athena even opened her mouth to answer, Eric's eyes darted around and landed on Kaidan. He narrowed his eyes before he turned them back to her. “Don't even bother replying, I can see the answer right there. Is he worth risking everything for?! Your life here, your friends?! I can kick you out whenever I fucking feel like it!”

 

Athena honestly didn't know how to answer that and Eric seemed to be close to exploding so she bit back the sarcastic retort that formed in her mind and kept her mouth shut.

 

“I told you not to mess it up, and yet you weren't here when we were attacked. What if they had wanted something more then scouting?” He moved his face even closer to hers, their noses touching and yet she had to strain her ears to hear him as he whispered even lower. “Don't you care about what happens to you little gang?” He motioned towards Joker and the guys and Athena suddenly felt somewhat ashamed.

 

They'd been attacked and she hadn't been there. She'd been spending so much time away for the past week that she hadn't even had time to talk to them. If one of the LS's had wanted to hurt Joker it would've been bad. He had broken his arm from just a push, she didn't even want to think about the outcome if someone beat him up. Even though he hated it, he needed her to protect him from stuff like this. They had always been a team and now she felt like she had abandoned him. Shame burned alongside the rage that Eric dared question her loyalty to her friends.

 

It was an effort to keep her mouth shut and her eyes trained on Eric's, but she did it. He stepped back and sneered at her. She wondered if he was disappointed at the lack of response. Perhaps he'd hoped she would shout back, giving him a reason to hit her. She thought her restraint should earn her a medal and made a mental note to brag about it to Joker later.

 

“Too busy fucking the rich boy to protect the cripple” Yennie spoke up and something inside Athena finally snapped.

 

She launched forward and pushed the taller woman hard into the wall behind her. Before Yennie even had time to draw a breath, Athena fist connected with her nose and she heard a satisfying crunching noise. That bitch had no right to speak to her like that. No right to speak about Joker and Kaidan like that, either.

 

She vaguely heard yelling behind her but she was too focused on the bleeding woman in front of her to hear the words. But before she could hit her again, Eric was there, pulling her off Yennie and throwing her across the room. Athena landed hard, colliding with a chair, and for a moment she had no idea what was going on. Before she had time to sit up, Eric was over her again, hands around her throat.

 

“How _dare_ you?!” The hands around her throat tightened and Athena made a strangled sound as she struggled to breathe while her hands tried to pry his off. His hands wouldn't give an inch and she felt a panic building quickly.

 

Suddenly her vision turned blue and the hands left her throat. She thought she must have been too long without oxygen when she saw Eric flying across the room, bathed in a blue glow, and hitting the opposite wall. When she looked around, bewildered, she saw Kaidan with his hand outstretched and an almost surprised expression on his face, as if he couldn't believe what he'd just done. Athena couldn't believe it either. He'd told her that he was a biotic but somehow she had never imagined him using his powers.

 

She scrambled to her feet at the same time as Eric did. They stared at each other, no one moving, before Eric glared at Kaidan and then looked at Yennie, who was standing beside him with a hand pressed against her bleeding nose.

 

“Get that fucking freak out of here. And if you _ever_ do something like that again, you and your pathetic friends will regret it” With that final threat, both Eric and Yennie left.

 

Athena let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding and then Joker and Dave were there, asking her if she was okay. She had no idea. She wasn't hurt, just a little banged up after being thrown across the room, but the repercussions of what she'd just done, and what Kaidan had just done, was something she'd rather not think about. And she was wondering if Eric had tried to kill her or if he'd just wanted to scare her. Probably the second. _Probably_.

 

“I'm fine” She waved Joker and Dave away and stepped between them to talk to Kaidan. The look on his face told her that he was still in shock, and she noticed that Johnny and Jade had both stepped away from him and was looking at him with widened eyes. They hadn't known he was a biotic. Athena had, and she'd still been surprised as hell. _I have to get him out of here_. She walked up to him and gently put her hand on his arm, making him jump even though she was careful.

 

“We should go” She was proud to hear that her voice didn't waver and led him outside. She walked quickly, not wanting to draw anymore attention to them, but once they were seated on the bike and started driving, she realized that she didn't know where to go. She doubted that Kaidan wanted to go home and face the parents right now, and she wanted to talk to him, reassure him somehow. But how she would manage to do that when she couldn't even reassure herself, she didn't know.

 

She drove them back towards the beach, at a loss for other options, but knowing that she couldn't stay long. She'd made Eric furious enough already and she still needed the Reds for another year before she could join the Alliance.

 


	12. Chapter 12

_Now you're gone  
_ _There's an emptiness closing around me,  
_ _And I can't go on  
_ _When all I have left is the memory_

**Whitesnake - “Now You're Gone”**

 

Kaidan and Athena got off the bike at the beach. Their blanket was still lying there, as they had forgotten to take it with them. Kaidan was staring out over the water with his hands hanging at his sides and Athena pretended to fumble with something on the bike to give her some time to think.

 

She had no idea how to start this conversation and what to say. Kaidan had saved her, although she was almost 100% sure that Eric wouldn't have killed her and was just trying to scare her. Eric might've had it in for her for a while but he would never kill her. She made him more money then most others, and he had saved her off the street when she was just a kid. He'd just been way more laid back then, and much less paranoid. But seeing as they'd been attacked, maybe his paranoia was warranted.

 

She shook her head slightly and straightened up from the bike, not even knowing what she had pretended to do with it. Kaidan had saved her, but he had also caused a whole lot of problems with that stunt. He would never be able to come back to her apartment again and she had no idea what the others were thinking. Johnny and Jade had seemed appalled and stepped away from him, looking terrified, but she didn't know about Dave. Joker would be okay with it once she explained it, she was certain of that.

 

But Kaidan would not be able to come to her place anymore, Eric would make sure of that, and she couldn't be away much, since she was sure the LS's would be back. She didn't want to be away again if the Reds were hit, not just because of how furious Eric would be or that she was afraid of what he'd do, but because she didn't want to abandon her friends. She was sort of their leader, even if she'd never tried to be. She was the center of the group and without her they'd probably split up to Johnny + Jade and Dave + Joker. Maybe they would anyway after this.

 

“Hey” She stepped up and touched Kaidan's hand, which immediately wrapped around her own and the warm feeling she usually got when he was around came back. She stepped in front of him and snaked her arms around him. He hugged her close and she could feel the tremble in his hands on her back.

 

“Thank you” It was so simple but it was all she could think to say at the moment, and he hugged her harder at her words. “For saving me, I mean”

 

“Always”

 

His voice was low but she heard him clear as day, and her heart almost stopped before starting to beat like crazy in her chest. Despite everything that had happened she just wanted to stay here forever, not moving and having his arms around her.

 

After a while he cleared his throat and extracted himself from her. She realized that he might've expected some kind of response. _Jeez, I seem to fuck everything up today_.

 

“So, what are you going to do now?”

 

Athena looked at Kaidan questingly. She didn't know what he meant. There was obviously not much she could do after what went down earlier.

 

“Well, I'll have to be home a lot more and work on our defense and a plan, I expect...” She shrugged and looked at Kaidan, seeing the frown that wrinkled his brow.

 

“You're going back there? You can't be serious!” Kaidan gestured with his hands as he spoke and when she didn't seem to agree with him, he switched to a tone appropriate for explaining something to a four year old. “That guy tried to kill you”

 

“I'm pretty sure he just wanted to scare me, not kill me-”

 

“Pretty sure? That sure as hell isn't what it looked like!” He stepped closer and for the second time that day, Athena found herself cornered by an angry man.

 

Athena was starting to get angry now herself. She wasn't used to people shouting at her like this, not even Eric had done that before today, and Kaidan wouldn't even let her explain. Did he think he knew what was going on in her life better then she herself did?

 

“You don't know Eric, he wouldn't kill me, or any of us! If you hadn't done that biotic thing, he would have stopped real soon. Why do you think none of the others intervened? You think they were too cowardly?”

 

Kaidan took a step back as she raised her voice, and a part of her felt smug that she commanded that much respect at least.

 

“So you're saying that I should've just stood there and everything would've worked out?! That I shouldn't have thrown him, trying to prevent him from killing you?!”

 

“Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying! It was a very nice thing to do but now you won't be able to come to my place ever again!”

 

Kaidan bristled at that and stepped into her face again. He started to glow slightly blue, it was as if a curtain of energy rippled over him, and Athena took a step back despite herself. _That blue shit is intimidating_.

 

“Nice?! I told you what happened at brain camp and I told you that I haven't used my biotics since! Throwing someone across a room isn't something I do fucking lightly!” He turned around and paced with clenched fists, obviously trying to control the blue energy that flowed around him. “Maybe this whole thing was a mistake”

 

That last comment made Athena see red and she had to fight the urge to punch him in the face. She hadn't told him to use his biotics and yet here he was, acting like she had.

 

“Yeah, maybe it was! If I hadn't been spending so much time with you, I would have been there! Then maybe Joker wouldn't have a broken arm and I wouldn't be the fucking black sheep of the gang I've spent my whole life in!” She whirled around and stormed back towards the bike. _Fuck this shit._

 

She felt Kaidan's hand on her arm as she stormed past and shrugged it off angrily. “Don't fucking touch me!”

 

“I can't believe you! You're actually gonna go back there, after what they did to you?!”

 

She whirled around again and marched up to face him.

 

“What the hell am I supposed to do? I can't just leave! My whole life is there and all my friends. They're my family, some of us actually don't have a mother to make us homemade lasagna! Even if we all left, where would we go? We have no education and nowhere to live, we'd never get a job!” She stepped back a few steps and glared at him. “You have no idea what our lives are like. Just fucking leave me alone”

 

She swung her leg over the bike and it roared to life within a second, taking her back home to face the music.

 

* * *

 

When Athena got home she didn't stop to answer the questions that Dave and Joker rained down on her. She just marched by them and threw herself on her bed after slamming the door shut rather loudly. She screamed into her pillow for a good minute before she sighed and rolled over on her back. _What the fuck did I just do?!_

 

 _Okay, think_. Eric would probably want a meeting in the morning and they would set up a plan to ward off the counterattack that was surely coming. That was business and someone else's to figure out. She just did what she was told. _Except for today_.

 

She shook her head to get rid of the annoying thoughts. The guys were probably shook up after what had happened and she should talk to them and explain the blue glowing thing Kaidan had going on. _Kaidan_. Thinking of him made her shut her eyes tight to refrain from crying. _I do not cry_.

 

 _I've only known him for a few weeks_. The thoughts did nothing to improve the sinking feeling in her stomach. _I do not love him_. She didn't know if she believed it herself but she kept repeating it out loud to try and convince herself it was the truth. She had enough trouble at home to pine over some guy. She had to get her life back on track, like it had been a few weeks ago before the raid and before meeting Kaidan.

 

 _Maybe he was right, it was a mistake_. She groaned and put her hands over her face to try and force the thoughts of the day's events from her mind. Sadly, it didn't work.

 

“Athena?” She jumped as her door opened, even if it was done quietly, and was surprised to find Joker standing there rather awkwardly. He never used her first name, he usually just called her Shep.

 

“Yeah” She sat up and rubbed her face once before turning her full attention on him. “How are you? The arm troubling you? We can still go to the hospital”

 

“Nah” He waved it away with his uninjured hand. “Nothing I haven't felt before. It'll heal on it's own” He walked to her bed, slower then usual, and Athena scooted over to make place for him to sit down beside her. “So... what the hell happened?”

 

 _That was a broad question_. She groaned.

 

“Specify please”

 

“Everything from you punching Yennie to right now. Not that I blame you for the punching part, I'm amazed you didn't hit Eric when he yelled at you”

 

He gave her a weak smile and her mouth twitched into a small smile of her own despite the circumstance, remembering how she'd made a mental note to brag of that to Joker.

 

“So was I. Kept thinking how I'd brag about it to you” They both grinned at the irony of it all before she continued. “I just snapped. I knew I shouldn't have. It would have spared us all a world of trouble”

 

“Yeah... what the hell did Kaidan do? I've never seen that before”

 

Athena felt relieved that Joker sounded more curious then frightened or disgusted.

 

“He's a biotic. He told me about it a while back but it was in confidence and I didn't want to break that trust, even to you”

 

Joker pouted in a playful manner and sighed dramatically.

 

“I guess I'm being replaced”

 

“You could never. And it's not even relevant to speculate into as I yelled at him and told him to leave me alone”

 

She put her hands back over her face to hide her shame and Joker's shocked expression.

 

“You WHAT?”

 

A pained whimper was all the answer she could manage without starting to cry. _I do not cry_.

 

“Ahem. Didn't he save you? I mean, Eric wouldn't have killed you, but Kaidan didn't know that and it's the thought that counts, right? Felt rather bad myself, just standing there when the new guy saved you”

 

She snorted at the last comment.

 

“And what would you have done? Broken your _other_ arm at him?” He playfully whacked at her and she dodged with a grin. _Glad we can still joke around_.

 

She cleared her throat to answer him seriously and he fell quiet. _Shit, I'm not used to these serious conversations and now it feels like I have several every day_.

 

“I'm glad, happy, honored, whatever, that he saved me. But he can't come here anymore, not with Eric around. Not that he'd want to, after what I said” She sighed and stared straight at the wall, not able to look at him if she was about to tell him everything. “He said maybe these past few weeks had been a mistake. And he wouldn't understand that I just couldn't leave because Eric is an asshole. He's not from around here, he'll never understand. Spoiled rich brat” She added the last part under her breath and Joker lifted an eyebrow at the comment.

 

“You don't mean that. The brat part”

 

She sighed.

 

“No, I don't. I'm just mad. And frightened that I scared him off for good”

 

“Well... you could always call him. Or go see him”

 

Athena sighed and rubbed her face.

 

“There's a lot to deal with at the moment. How's Dave taking it all?”

 

Joker shrugged.

 

“He's beating himself up. Says he should have gotten Eric off you instead of hesitating and having Kaidan do it. He really like Kaidan and he knows we won't be seeing him much here from now on”

 

“Yeah, that's an understatement” Athena mumbled the words out while making patterns with her fingers on her bed. Everything had gone to hell in a few short hours.

 

Joker continued as if he hadn't heard her comment. “Johnny and Jade disappeared right after you did. I'm sensing a gap forming between them and us”

 

Athena didn't know what to answer that and just sighed again. The fact that Joker's said 'them and us' convinced her the gap had already formed. She had known it was going to be this way for a while. Johnny and Jade were a couple, after all, and they had to look out for themselves. If Athena was branded the black sheep, or got thrown out of the Reds, they'd want nothing to do with that. And they were possibly scared of what Kaidan had done. Athena didn't blame them for any of that, they all had to look out for themselves. Joker and her were inseparable and Dave were too loyal for his own good, which made sure the three of them would stay together, at least.

 

She turned to Joker and hugged him, causing him to startle.

 

“Thanks for being here. And sorry, this is all my fault”

 

Joker hugged her back, hard, and there was an edge to his voice as he spoke.

 

“Don't you dare apologize. The trouble is Eric being a dick, not you spending time with a guy you like”

 

“If I'd been here-”

 

“Nothing would have changed” Joker pulled back and looked her in the eyes.

 

“You don't know that”

 

“Neither do you”

 

Joker wriggled his eyebrows and Athena couldn't help but smile. Joker could always get her to laugh no matter the situation.

 

“Alright, I don't. But I still should have been here” She grimaced “Probably will be from now on though”

 

Joker rolled his eyes. “You _have got_ to at least send him a message!”

 

“I will” Athena held her hands up in surrender. “I will. But I have to check in with Dave first. And Jade and Johnny”

 

Joker rolled his eyes again but got up and walked slowly to the door. He paused right before he closed it behind him and turned back towards her.

 

“See that you do. He deserve better then to be ignored after what he did for you”

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

 _Is it all just wasted time?  
_ _Can you live with yourself  
_ _When you think of what  
_ _You left behind_

**Skid Row - “Wasted Time”**

 

 

Athena had meant to send a message to Kaidan. But when she sat down to write it, it seemed cold and impersonal to put such things in a message. How could she apologize for the things she'd said in a message? And what was there to apologize for anyway? She regretted yelling at him, but in the end he had hurt her as much as she had him. A childish part of her was wondering why he hadn't apologized either, and she ignored the sane voice that answered that she had told him to leave her alone.

 

She could call, but she was scared that they'd get in the same fight again, or that he wouldn't take her call. It just seemed too final. For now, she was happy to say that she would, eventually, contact him. When things weren't so crazy in the other aspects of her life.

 

Eric had indeed wanted a meeting the morning after the small scouting party had gone into their base. Everyone agreed that they'd be back since they didn't take anything, but they all wondered the same thing: why hadn't they taken the goods, if that's what they came for? And if they didn't care about the wares, that were the Reds's to begin with, why did they come here at all?

 

The motives of the other gang were unknown, and that more then anything else scared Athena. That and the fact that they had been confident enough to launch a small scouting party before their main attack, as if they didn't care if the Reds tried to defend themselves or not.

 

Athena was in trouble within the Reds and the only ones to speak with her was Joker and Dave. Even Johnny and Jade had told her that they had to lay low and didn't want to share the trouble Kaidan and Athena had caused together. Athena had tried to convince them that Kaidan wasn't a crazy person but they hadn't really believed her and after a few tries she'd given up. They nodded to each other when they met but no more then that.

 

Both Joker and Dave had raged at the way Johnny and Jade saved their own skins by turning away from Athena, and even though she told them she wasn't mad and that she understood, she was secretly furious as well. She had saved their asses several times and she'd even taken the fall for a shitty break in that resulted in a gang member getting arrested, even though it had been Jade's fault for doing a lousy hacking job. But she had to pretend that she had everything under control for Dave and Joker's sake. And she definitely shouldn't pick more fights with gang members.

 

She sighed and focused her attention back on the blueprint of their own base that she was studying to figure out where they could strategically place people to fend off an attack. But the job was hard enough even without not knowing where they would be going or what they were after. _Fucking Lost Sons. And fucking Eric. Fucking stupid gang shit._

 

“Fuck it all!”

 

She threw the data pad across the room just in time for Joker too see it when he came through the open front door. He lifted one eyebrow at her and she glared at him, not in the mood to talk to anyone.

 

But Joker didn't say anything at all, just walked to the fridge and got two beers out, balancing them both in his uninjured hand as he sat down across the table from her. Athena reached over and took one of them from him without even glancing at him and she heard him scoff.

 

“The words you're searching for is “thank you'”

 

Even that didn't bring out anything but an irritated shrug from her and she could see Joker's worried frown out of the corner of her eye. She sighed. The last thing she wanted to do now was worry him, she'd already put him through too much.

 

She took a long swig of her beer before she sat it back down on the table and leaned back in her chair. She stared at the wall for a few seconds and Joker patiently waited for her to speak or do something.

 

“I have no idea what I'm doing anymore” She didn't want to look at Joker and see his expression. “I fucked everything up and I have no idea how to fix it. Everyone here hates me, and now they hate you and Dave because you're associated with me. And Kaidan hates me because I yelled at him and wouldn't leave the Reds” She buried her face in her hands and tried not to think of the huge mess she had somehow created.

 

“Oh come on, we only have to stay with the Reds for another year and then we can do whatever we want. And Kaidan doesn't hate you, he might be mad at you and he doesn't understand how things are for us, but if you would just _talk to him_ as I told you to, things will work out” Joker sounded very sure of himself and the inspirational speech was so out of character for him that Athena almost believed him.

 

“You think so?” She had tried very hard not to think of Kaidan for the last few days, hoping the problem would go away on it's own.

 

“I do. Now man up. Or woman up, or whatever and don't start crying on me, you know I can't handle it” That forced a small laugh out of her and when she removed her hands she had to snigger at the proud expression on Joker's face that he'd cheered her up. “And as for Johnny and Jade, they're assholes. Don't bother feeling bad about them”

 

“Don't say that, they're still our friends”

 

“Not anymore they're not. They are not welcome here anymore” Joker had his stubborn expression that she knew better then to argue with. Plus, it felt kind of good to hate Johnny and Jade a little.

 

“Just the three of us, then” She tried to smirk but it turned out more like a grimace.

 

“The three of us and Kaidan, yeah”

 

Athena rolled her eyes at his not-so-subtle attempt to bring up the subject of calling Kaidan.

 

“Alright, I will call him! Stop nagging me about it” She threw a bunch of crumbs from the table at him and he managed to deflect most of them with his hand.

 

“Watch it woman, I'm wounded here!”

 

Athena laughed as joker faked pain when the small crumbs hit his injured arm and he grinned as well. It felt good to laugh again. Even though it had just been a few days since everything had gone to hell, it felt like forever.

 

“You know what we should do?” Joker looked excited ans jumped up from the table as fast as his legs would allow. “We should take a break. We've been coped up here for days without going nowhere”

 

“Yeah, because we're expecting a raid and Eric would kill us if we missed it” Athena was talking slow, like she was speaking to a retarded dog, but Joker waved her concerns away.

 

“We have to live a little. What are the odds that they're gonna attack tonight? We should bring some beers and hit the beach! I'll let Dave know” Joker brought his omni tool up to message Dave, effectively walking all over Athena's protest.

 

Athena felt a little taken aback by Joker's enthusiasm but she was thankful all the same. She was sure he was doing this just for her and she would let him, just like he'd let her take care of his arm. But a night out at the beach sounded very tempting right now, just like they used to spend their time before everything started going downhill.

 

She finished her beer and got up to change from the sport shorts she'd been wearing into a pair of old jeans and a somewhat nicer top. She put on the same smokey make up she usually wore and went out to see both Joker and Dave waiting at the door, grinning. They were obviously very excited about sneaking out and bending the rules a little. Not that they were forbidden to leave or anything, but Athena suspected that Eric wouldn't like the three of them leaving with everything that had happened.

 

It would have been way more sneaky to walk then to take the bikes but Joker's legs would start to hurt after such a long trek and then there was the walk back to worry about, so they took the bikes anyway. They were parked at the back of the base instead of in front, so at least they didn't have to announce to the whole gang that they were leaving.

 

As soon as they got out on the road Athena sighed and smiled. She had missed this a lot. Feeling trapped around people who either openly hated her or ignored her was not fun. She could see the grin on Dave's face when he sped up to drive beside her and she grinned back. Just like old times.

 

* * *

 

They drove up to the usual place at the beach and parked their bikes. They had just swung their legs over and Athena grabbed Joker's crutches to help him off when a car drove up. Athena couldn't believe her eyes. _You've got to be fucking kidding me!_

 

The Alenko car rode up and parked a bit from them while they stared at it, frozen halfway off their bikes. The family started filing out and Athena felt herself starting to panic. What the hell was she supposed to do? Greet them like old friends and sit next to them on the beach? Ignore them and pretend the whole night that they weren't there?

 

She watched in trepidation as Mr Alenko got out, then Mrs Alenko and lastly Kaidan. When she saw Kaidan it made her stomach clench and she knew she couldn't be on the same beach ignoring him all night. He seemed to draw her gaze like a magnet and she seemed to be doing the same thing to him, since he looked up right at her, shock written all over his handsome features.

 

Joker and Dave both turned to look at her, silently telling her that they would go along with whatever she decided. Kaidan's parents had discovered her presence now as well and the air was loaded with so much tension that it almost felt electric.

 

Athena tore her eyes away from Kaidan's and swung her leg back across the bike, hearing Dave and Joker shifting back onto their rides as well. Without another look at the Alenkos, they started their bikes and drove away. Athena was in the lead and she knew exactly where they were going. She needed a strong fucking drink.

 

* * *

 

Some unknown band was playing at the club and the place was not packed but not empty either. The perfect amount of people and places to sit. They grinned at each other despite the earlier event and went to the bar to order their drinks. Athena pushed the thought of Kaidan out of her head and convinced herself that it hadn't happened. She could almost believe herself because being in this place with Joker and Dave felt so familiar. It was as if someone had rewinded the clock a few weeks and she was out having drinks with her friends without a care in the world. For now at least, life was good.

 

They ordered some beer and Athena convinced the others to order some jägermeister shots as well. To get the night started, and the others didn't really mind. Dave hated the shots but he would drink them anyway, not wanting to look like a pussy. Athena felt ecstatic despite everything. Tonight she wouldn't think about any consequences and just have fun with her guys, like normal. Except Johnny and Jade were missing. And Kaidan. _Don't think about that._

 

They clinked their glasses together and Athena almost choked at the sight of Dave grimacing at the bitter taste. Just like normal.

 

So much had happened and yet here they were, back in the place they had gone to for years when they needed to unwind. No Kaidan, only themselves with a whole night in front of them. They really were going nowhere fast.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was short and a bit boring, but sometimes an in-between chapter is needed! Thanks to those of you that have commented, especially thanks to Spaceconveyor for continued support!


	14. Chapter 14

_This time, this place  
_ _Misused, mistakes  
_ _Too long, too late  
_ _Who was I to make you wait?_

_On my knees, I'll ask  
_ _Last chance for one last dance  
_ _'Cause with you, I'd withstand  
_ _All of hell to hold your hand_

**Nickelback - “Far Away”**

 

 

Athena awoke the next day with the headache from hell, but she smiled despite the pounding between her ears. They'd had a hell of a night. They'd started out with the shots and Joker had convinced them of another round after that. They'd played pool and listened to the band. They'd never heard of them before but they were quite good, especially when there was a lot of alcohol involved.

 

She remembered hitting on the bartender to try and get them free drinks and failing miserably, causing Joker and Dave to collapse in laughter. They'd managed to steal a bottle of whiskey after that and drunk half of it. The other half they'd bartered off to two guys with a car so they could give them a ride home. They'd been much too drunk to drive.

 

She looked at the bedside table and saw a glass of water, thanking her drunk self for providing it before she decked in the bed. She fumbled with the drawer and got out an aspirin which she swallowed along with all the water in the glass before collapsing back on the bed, waiting for the pill to start it's magic on her headache.

 

She could hear a groan from somewhere outside her door and smiled. That sounded like Joker with a hangover.

 

“Shep?” His voice was week and her smile widened. Now this was a déjà vu.

 

“Yeah?” She winced at the rough sound of her voice and the pounding in her head when she shouted.

 

“I'm dying”

 

She started laughing and then groaned when her headache doubled.

 

“So am I”

 

Athena lay still and trying to think of nothing at all to make the headache disappear when her omni tool chimed. When she saw the call was from Joker she chuckled despite the pain. That lazy man.

 

“You could come in here, it's not a long walk”

 

His answer was another pained groan and the sound of him drinking water.

 

“I can't. Might throw up if I move. And my head is seriously killing me”

 

Athena smirked but the worried part of her took over and she sighed.

 

“You have aspirin?”

 

“Yeah already taken two. The things don't work”

 

“They might if you shut up and lie very still”

 

He muttered something she didn't catch but she thought she heard the word 'bitch' in there somewhere and smiled to herself. It was she who broke the silence after several minutes.

 

“Thanks. For last night. It was just what I needed” It was too early and she was in too much discomfort to have a serious conversation right now but that needed to be said.

 

“I know. It was really fucking fun though!”

 

She smiled as images of last night flashed before her. Dave's grimace when he swallowed the shots. Joker laughing so much he almost fell off his chair. Dave almost got in a fight because he accidentally poked someone with the pool cue. The grins on their faces when she'd stolen the whiskey and their laughter when she'd failed to charm the bartender.

 

“It really was”

 

She had almost forgotten what it felt like to have no worries there for a few hours and she was reluctant to go back to life as it was right now. Maybe if she just stayed here in bed for a while and kept talking to Joker... but her traitorous stomach betrayed her with a loud rumbling and she heard Joker's scoff from her 'tool.

 

“You know, I heard that from here”

 

Athena laughed and found that her head didn't pain her much anymore. She swung her legs over the edge of the bed and got up, wincing slightly at the quick motion.

 

“I'm gonna get dressed and make some coffee and breakfast”

 

“Bring me some?”

 

“Of course”

 

She pulled on the same clothes that she'd wore to the club even though they smelled slightly of alcohol. She must have spilled some or gotten spilled on. She got the pot brewing and started making sandwiches when the door opened and Dave stumbled in. He looked like she'd felt before she aspirin and she grinned.

 

“Good morning?”

 

She only got an unintelligible sound as answer as he slumped down on a chair with his head on the table. He stayed that way, totally unmoving, until the smell of coffee spread through the small room and he stirred. When she put a cup down in front of him he mimed a 'thank you' but made no sound.

 

Athena grabbed a cup and a few sandwiches to bring to Joker, but he emerged from his room in the same instant, dressed in the jeans from the day before but no shirt. Athena lifted and eyebrow at his naked chest and he shrugged before he sat down at the table.

 

“Couldn't find it”

 

She put the two cups and all the sandwiches down on the table and seated herself. She had to force herself not to laugh out loud as she saw the two zombies that was Joker and Dave carefully sip their coffee and taking small bites of the sandwiches, as if taking anything in too fast would cause it to rush out again.

 

Amazingly, she herself felt rather well now that the aspirin had kicked in. She kept smiling whenever she thought of last night and decided that she would work her ass off to make sure they could have such good times often again. She couldn't do much about the other gang members and Eric's dislike of her but she could lay low so that they didn't get a reason to bother her. And she could talk to Kaidan.

 

She had to apologize for the way she'd run away from him the night before. She'd acted like a child but in that moment she'd just wanted to escape and have a carefree night, and that serious conversation had not been part of the plan.

 

Today however, she felt like making amends and fix the things she could so that life could get back to normal as quickly as possible.

 

She looked up from her cup to find both Joker and Dave watching her.

 

“What?” Her mouth was full of bread but they could apparently understand her since Joker answered.

 

“How can you stuff your face like that? Aren't you feeling shitty too?”

 

“I did. But then I took an aspirin and got some coffee and food so now I'm fine” She shrugged and took another large bite. “In fact-” She swallowed hard, “I'm gonna fix things today” They kept staring at her like they didn't understand her. But this time she hadn't spoken with a full mouth. “I'm gonna talk to Kaidan”

 

Joker let his head fall back and lifted his arms in a victorious gesture.

 

“Finally!”

 

“Yeah, I know” Athena grinned at him, knowing that he'd tried to convince her to do just that several times. “But better late than never, right?”

 

“I guess you'll find out”

 

Athena stuck her tongue out at Joker, comforting herself with the thought that it couldn't get worse between her and Kaidan then it already was. No need to be afraid.

 

She stood up and left for the shower, leaving Joker and Dave back at the table. She couldn't go see Kaidan right away, she'd have to sneak away later after she'd had some work done and something to show for both yesterday and today. She slipped into some comfortable shorts and when she entered the kitchen again, both Joker and Dave were in the same place, still looking miserable but at least a tad livelier. The data pad was also in the same spot she'd left it in; on the floor beside the door.

 

She picked it up and started going through the scenarios again. No matter what the LS's would want, having some guys on the balcony would be smart as they'd have the best view. They'd already installed lamps on the outside of the base and om the houses around so they'd see someone approaching even in the dark.

 

Athena and Dave would be on guard duty later tonight and stand watch outside the front door of the base. It was the worst possible post, because if the Lost Sons were serious about the raid, they'd want to silence the ones standing guard there as quickly as possible, making it the most dangerous place on the base. Probably why they'd been stationed there. Fucking Eric.

 

She kept coming up with ideas for defending the base for another three hours before she sent her material to Eric and Yennie. She stretched in the chair and checked the time. It was only four a clock but she hadn't gotten ay other jobs to finish before guard duty and that was eight hours away. Time to go see Kaidan.

 

She had to walk back to the club to get her bike as they had left them there last night, but it wasn't a long walk. She found it, good as knew, and soon sped off, trying not to get cold feet.

 

They road to Kaidan's house was familiar and yet she stopped and found herself hesitating before making the final turn. It wasn't normal for her to be this nervous and it scared her a little. _Well, I've gotten this far. And maybe they won't be home._

 

That thought didn't seem probable because of the black car in the driveway. She cursed silently and stopped the engine, not really wanting to park her bike beside the car. She felt as if she wasn't allowed to anymore. She thought briefly about knocking on the door but quickly decided not to and brought up her omni tool instead, sending Kaidan a message.

 

_I'm outside. Wanna talk?_

_\- Athena_

 

It didn't take Kaidan a second to answer, maybe he'd heard her bike from inside and knew she was there.

 

_I'll come out._

_\- Kaidan_

 

Not a minute later she saw him walk towards her. He must have exited from the other side of the house. He had his hands in the pockets of his jeans and looked everywhere but at her. He seemed really uncomfortable and she felt a pang of guilt that it was her fault.

 

He walked up to the bike and stood there in front of her, still not looking at her. Apparently he found his shoes very interesting. Athena waited for him to look at her so she could figure out if he was mad and in that case how much. What she dared to mention and what would be better kept silent. After a whole minute of watching him look at the ground she lost her patience and cleared her throat.

 

“I wanted to talk to you. Wanna do it here or move it to the beach or somewhere?” She added the last two words in a rush and silently scolded herself for thinking of going to their place at the beach where the original fight had taken place. Not a good plan.

 

Kaidan finally looked up at her.

 

“We can go over there” He motioned towards the small gathering of trees on the side of the house. The place where they'd first kissed. _Good plan._

 

She frowned when a completely different thought hit her. _I promised Oliver that he could come with us to the club but haven't called him at all._ But then she shook her head. Of all the things to feel bad about, that wasn't one of them. He'd probably forgotten about it already.

 

“Oliver asked after you. Wanted to know if a good band would be playing sometime soon”

 

Athena jumped at the sound of his voice and felt her heart rate speed up. _Geez, get a grip._ She was acting like a jumpy rabbit and felt like kicking herself. _Focus_. He obviously had the same flashback she'd had about the night with the party here, since he just mentioned Oliver. Did that mean he still remembered their kiss? Of course he did, that was stupid. She chided herself for thinking otherwise even for a moment. Kaidan wasn't that kind of guy.

 

He was apparently the kind of guy who thought they should have their heart to heart leaning up against the exact same three they'd been leaning up against during their first kiss. Terrific, she thought and smirked sarcastically. That shouldn't make things awkward at all.

 

But then she realized that he might be just as nervous as her. She knew what she was about to say, almost, but he had no idea why she wanted to talk. She had been the one to push him away, he had no idea if she was here to break up with him or try to make up.

 

Athena took a deep breath and gathered her thought before she launched into the speech she had come up with during the day.

 

“I'm sorry about yesterday. I freaked out and I shouldn't have. It's just... when I saw you I kinda panicked. Don't know why but I was in a really shitty mood and I didn't have the energy to have this conversation right then. I actually meant to have this conversation with you several days ago but I chickened out. Guess I was afraid that you wouldn't forgive me for the things I said. Not that I'm any less afraid now but I hate being scared so I thought I'd just get it done with” _Jesus christ, I'm rambling on like an idiot!_

 

Suddenly she had no idea what it was she had planned to say. She had relied on the fact that he would accuse her of things and that she would have to apologize for everything but he didn't say a thing, just stared at her, and his face was unreadable. Athena was starting to panic and looked down at the ground.

 

“Kaidan... I'm sorry”

 

Before the words were fully outside her mouth she could feel him wrapping his arms around her and she reveled in the sensation. He was close and she had craved him this close for a week. She felt like she'd been starving and finally gotten what she needed. She hugged him so close she feared she might be hurting him, but he didn't try to stop her.

 

Their mouths sought each others out and she lost herself in the sensation of him. The feel of his lips on hers, finally, and the strength of his arms as they surrounded her.

 

They broke off the kiss, both panting for air, and he hugged her even closer, pressing her face to his shoulder. When she felt him kiss her temple, some restraint in her broke and she could feel the tears running down her face and onto his shirt. She tried to pull herself off him to not soak his clothes, but he refused and held her close. She didn't mind succumbing to him and stayed right where she was, crying her heart out.

 

She could feel his tears on her shirt as well and felt relieved that they didn't need any words to apologize and forgive each other. After a long time of standing there, they slid down to the ground to sit with their backs against the tree, still holding each other.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this short chapter and thanks to the people that commented! I means a lot :)


	15. Chapter 15

_You said "I love you babe," without a sound.  
_ _I said I'd give my life for just one kiss.  
_ _I'd live for your smile, and die for your kiss_

**Skid Row - “I Remember You”**

 

 

Athena clutched Kaidan's shirt in her hands as they were resting against the trunk of the tree. The crying had stopped a while ago but they hadn't said a word to each other. They didn't need it, basking in each others presence was enough. She had said some things and he had said some things. They'd probably fight over this again in the future because they still held the same opinions, but at least they knew it now and accepted it. They were from different worlds, and Athena had known they would have this fight eventually.

 

But right now, everything was fine. She snuggled up closer against him and put her face against his neck and breathed in. He smelled so comfortable, so _Kaidan_. She put a small kiss on his neck and felt him shudder. A small smile broke out on her lips. How far could she push it? Would he make out with her, here, against a tree on his parents lawn? The mischievous part of her took over and she kissed him again, adding a bit of tongue against his skin and he squirmed.

 

“Athena, don't” He tried to make his voice strong but she could hear the waver in it and grinned.

 

“What?” She put on her most innocent expression and the biggest puppy eyes she could manage.

 

“We can't, I mean... not here” He was sitting still but his shoulders were tense. Athena smiled to herself. She liked this game.

 

“No one can see us from the house” She nuzzled him again and licked a long stripe up his neck, making him shudder and clutch her against him.

 

“That's not the point!”

 

“Then what's the point?”

 

She loved the way he stuttered and didn't seem to come up with anything solid and she shifted her weight so that she straddled him and he had his back against the tree trunk.

 

“What's the point?” She repeated the question and looked him in the eyes, her own shining with amusement at the conflicted look in his.

 

“The point is-” He took a firm hold of her shoulders and forced her a few inches away from him. “The point is that we're in a public place”

 

“Like the beach?” She did her best to look innocent but she suspected that her eyes betrayed her. She was filled with so much bubbling excitement that she felt drunk. And she knew she had him.

 

Kaidan looked dumbfounded.

 

“No! Not like the beach! This is...” He furrowed his brow and thought for a second to come up with the right word for it. “This is too close to my house!”

 

“You didn't seem to mind when we were doing it _in_ your house”

 

Athena couldn't help the sly grin that spread on her face as he stuttered and blushed. Cute little boy she had managed to catch. He suddenly got a suspicious look on his face and she went back to the most innocent expression she could muster.

 

“Stop enjoying this so much!”

 

She laughed. She couldn't help it, he was too adorable. His brow furrowed even more and he almost pouted.

 

“I'm enjoying this very much. Can't help it”

 

His hands were only holding her loosely and she pressed her lips against his before he could reply. She wanted to kiss that cute frown away and from the way he was now pressing her against him instead of holding her at bay, she deemed that she had succeeded.

 

His hands were roaming all over her body in no time and when she had to brake the kiss to breathe she could see the fire in his eyes, making her all the more excited. She pressed herself against him and kissed him again. They both opened their mouths and their tongues were twirling around each other. Athena moaned into his mouth, both at the sensation of his tongue against hers and at the fact that they were kissing again. That week apart had felt like forever. At least like a month.

 

Kaidan seemed to throw caution to the wind as his hands were trying to get her shirt off, and Athena wasn't about to complain. She sat up in his lap and threw her shirt off, staring down into his hungry eyes. Finding the shirt later on would be a different problem.

 

She tugged at the hem of his shirt to get him to take it off as well, and he complied, his eyes still sweeping over her body. He had apparently missed her. And she had missed him too.

 

She ran her hands up his bare chest, feeling the muscles playing underneath his skin at her touch. He was touching her as well, his hands on her stomach, her back, her breasts. They explored each other liked they'd never seen each others bodies before.

 

When they were down to their underwear Athena started to feel a little bit guilty. She had basically coerced him into this and she didn't wanna go any further unless he felt comfortable with it. And she didn't think he could. But on the other hand, she _really_ didn't want to stop.

 

In the end, her nice side won and she broke of their kiss and leaned back.

 

“Kaidan, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to persuade you into anything and I don't want to do anything you don't feel comfortable with. Maybe we should call it a night?”

 

She could feel herself making her voice weak in the end, hoping that he would decline her offer.

 

She shouldn't have worried.

 

With a growl deep in his throat he switched positions and before Athena knew it, she was lying on her back on the ground with Kaidan over her. The growl and the fast switch might have made her wary with another man but with Kaidan she knew she had nothing to worry about. She groaned and leaned up to kissed him with as much ferocity as she could muster. This demanding side of Kaidan was a new one, and one she very much enjoyed.

 

He pressed her into the dirt and she let him, wrapping her legs around his waist and moaning into his mouth.

 

As turned on as she was by this new side of Kaidan and as much she wanted to sleep with him right here, she couldn't help but notice one big flaw in that plan. She didn't have any protection with her as she certainly hadn't planned on this, and she was quite sure Kaidan didn't either. And she had no plans to get pregnant because of one horny decision in the back of Kaidan's parents yard. No way.

 

She sighed as she gently pushed his chest away from her a few inches and his eyes met hers. Athena had to focus really hard not to go back to making out with him after seeing his heavy lidded eyes and feeling his fast breathing on her face. She closed her eyes and decided to just cut to the chase before she lost her train of thought.

 

“Kaidan, I don't wanna get pregnant” As she had counted on, that one little mention of pregnancy made him go still at once. She had to open her eyes to make sure he was still breathing and the look on his face made her laugh despite the situation. She had never seen a more shocked human being in her life. She brought her hand up to cup his face as she continued. “And I don't have any protection with me. Do you?”

 

He finally seemed to get what she was talking about and blushed while he slowly shook his head. Athena couldn't believe how talking about that made him blush when he had no trouble almost doing it in the yard in front of their house. They hadn't even dared do it near the beach for fear of someone walking in on them. And then it would have been a stranger, here it was his parents. _Well, they had almost seen it once before so at least they shouldn't be surprised_.

 

She smirked to herself at the thought and Kaidan looked questingly at her. She focused on him again and kept her gaze on his face so her body wouldn't get any bright ideas in the face of his half naked one.

 

“We can't do this here then”

 

They both got up and started getting dressed in silence. Make-up sex hadn't been on her radar when she went over here. If it had, she would have thought to bring some condoms.

 

She was fully dressed except for her shirt. She remembered throwing it God knows where in the beginning of the make-out session and sighed to herself.

 

“This is some fucking déjà vu” She muttered to herself while searching for the shirt and she heard Kaidan laugh softly behind her. She finally found it under a bush and put it on, realizing that all her clothes were brown from the dirt. _Well, I'm only going home_.

 

She found herself grateful that she wasn't going into the Alenko house looking like this, they would probably never let her in again. With that thought in mind she looked over at Kaidan and a laugh bubbled out of her without her being able to stop it.

 

“What?”

 

Kaidan looked worse then she did. His white shirt was almost covered in dirt and his face was streaked with brown from rubbing his face with a hand that had been on the ground.

 

“Your parents are gonna wonder what you've been up to”

 

Kaidan looked down at himself and groaned in annoyance, making her giggle. She never used to giggle but ever since she met Kaidan is seemed to be a daily occurrence. Aside from the last couple of days when she hadn't smiled at all.

 

“I guess I'm gonna have to tell them I fell. Or got jumped by a dog. Or maybe I'll sneak past them”

 

“Past your mom? She won't let you”

 

The mention of his mother brought them both back to the current situation and Athena swore inwardly at her clumsiness. She should never have mentioned Mrs Alenko or her dislike for Athena. What had she been filling Kaidan's head with this past week when they hadn't spoken to each other? She could only imagine and it wasn't good.

 

“Look...” Kaidan fidgeted and fingered the hem of his shirt as he spoke. Athena froze. She did not like this nervous Kaidan. She'd been so happy making out just a few moments ago, if he got cold feet know she might loose it. She thought he'd forgiven her. “I know things are weird after everything that's happened. And I'm sorry as well. I didn't mean to come on that strong when I talked about your gang. We've only known each other for a few weeks and I have no right to talk about your life like that, or try to convince you to do things you're not comfortable with”

 

It was almost painful for Athena to see him this nervous and awkward so she quipped in.

 

“I convinced you to make out with me a few minutes ago even though you weren't comfortable with it”

 

Athena held her breath to see if he'd taken her interruption badly or if he found it amusing, like she'd meant it. Fortunately, he smiled and chuckled.

 

“Yeah well, that didn't take much convincing”

 

She grinned at him and he blushed as he smiled back. She didn't think she'd ever tire of seeing him like that, all happy and embarrassed.

 

“Anyway” He continued and she shut up for once, sensing that this was something he needed to say. “I really am sorry. And sorry for not calling you afterwards, I should have. I just kept thinking that maybe it was better this way. But it's not!” He added the last part after seeing Athena frown at his words. “My mom still don't like you but I'm willing to find a way around that, if you are”

 

Athena looked up at him and he was finally looking at her. The emotions she could see in his eyes made her want to rush over to him and hug him but she sensed that it wasn't what he needed at the moment. He needed an answer.

 

“Of course I want to, I thought I showed you that just a few minutes ago?” Athena gestured towards the ground where they'd been tumbling around and had the pleasure of seeing him turn red again. Making him blush really was one of her favorite past times. He looked uncertain about the seriousness of her answer and she chided herself. She had apparently spent too much time with Joker and adapted his defense mechanism against serious conversations. “Seriously though, I do want to”

 

His face lit up at her words and she couldn't help it, she just had to kiss him. She stepped in and cupped his face in her hands before softly kissing his lips. He responded by wrapping his arms around her and kissing back with a softness she had missed while being away from him so long. She had totally forgotten how he could turn her legs into jelly with just one small kiss, but now it all rushed back to her.

 

The kiss was sweet and soft, not like the demanding one from before and Athena found herself thinking that she actually felt happy. They broke the kiss to get some much needed oxygen with Kaidan's arms still wrapped tightly around her and his nose in her hair. His whisper was almost too soft for her to hear.

 

“I love you”

 

Athena froze and felt like the time had stopped. Kaidan seemed frozen in place as well and his posture was rigid. He probably hadn't meant to say that at all. When Athena finally managed to move again she leaned back to look at him. His shocked expression mirrored hers and if it wasn't such a serious situation she would've laughed at the fact that he was so shocked over something _he had said_.

 

“What did you just say?” Athena's voice only came out as a whisper despite her trying to talk at a normal volume. But this seemed like a conversation best whispered anyway.

 

“I... um...” Kaidan looked every bit the deer caught in the headlights and Athena felt sorry for pushing him on this but she needed to be sure of what she'd heard. Even though his own shock mixed with fear told her she had heard correctly.

 

“Did you just say you love me?”

 

Kaidan nodded slowly. He was still holding her in his arms and his expression was still shock mixed with a large portion of uncertainty.

 

Athena launched herself forward and kissed him hard, just wanting to show him all that she had so much trouble admitting to herself, never mind saying out loud. He kissed her back, hungrily, and she took a few moments to gather her courage before breaking the kiss and saying the words back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hadn't really planned to write this chapter at all, it would just have been a quick part of the next one but I couldn't help it! This story has it's own mind, I swear. So a lot of Kaidan and a lot of sappiness. Let me know what you think! And thanks to those of you that has left kudos and/or comments :) you guys rock!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was over a month since I last updated this! I have no good excuse, but I do have an explanation. First, I went on vacation and thought I would have time to write, but it turned out I didn't. When I got back and had written almost the entire chapter, I dropped (!!!) my laptop which resulted in a hard drive failure. And I had of course not done a back-up for weeks. It's a real pain in the ass to rewrite a chapter that you've already written, which is why it took me so long. And it's a short one as well. Sorry for all this, I promise I will behave better from now on and don't make you guys wait so long! And sorry if there are a lot of typos, I was in a hurry to get this out now that I've finally finished it! Thanks to all of you who leave kudos and comments, they're much appreciated! :)

_Tequila in his heartbeat, his veins burned gasoline.  
_ _It kept his motor running but it never kept him clean.  
_ _They say he loved adventure, "Ricky's the wild one."  
_ _He married trouble and had a courtship with a gun._

  **Skid Row - ”18 And Life”**

 

Athena got home after the light make-out session with Kaidan. She was tasked with guard duty but she had a hard time concentrating on the job. Dave was standing beside her and constantly talking but she had to ask him several times to repeat what he'd said before it got into her head. She felt drunk even though she hadn't had anything to drink.

 

She thought back on the meeting with Kaidan only hours ago and couldn't help but smile. Everything seemed to have worked out in such a small amount of time. She had been suffering for a week and then one day she decided to try and fix it all and now it was done. No more heartache. Although she wasn't sure she wanted to call it that, it was a little too much Titanic for her taste.

 

Athena looked up and found Dave staring at her with a strange expression. She'd probably missed something he'd said again.

 

“Sorry, what did you say?”

 

He didn't answer, just kept staring at her with that same expression but a small smirk crept onto his face as she watched.

 

“What?”

 

He didn't answer and just turned his eyes back on the street they were supposed to watch with an infuriating smirk on his face.

 

“What?!”

 

“I know what you were thinking of. Or should I say whom?” The smirk only got wider as Athena tried to say something witty back and just ended up stuttering. “You get that funny happy look on your face whenever you think of Kaidan” Dave's eyes glittered and she just wanted to punch him.

 

“Shut up” She muttered and returned to stare down the empty street. They had been doing this for a fucking week and it was starting to get boring. Last night and the time she'd spent with Kaidan just now was the only thing that kept her standing here, doing her duty. Giving her something to go back to when this shit was over with.

 

She couldn't help the small smile that crept onto her face whenever she thought of Kaidan, even though she knew she was making a fool out of herself in front of Dave. It had only been about 5 weeks since they met but it felt like she'd known him for years, maybe because he had shared his secrets with her and all the hurt.

 

“You're doing it again”

 

Dave's smug voice brought her out of her musings and she was about to give him an irritated reply when the sound of approaching vehicles made both of them freeze and forget what they'd been talking about. Snapping out of it, Athena pushed the emergency button on the wall, making alarms go off in all the buildings that belonged to the Reds. They didn't need to see the cars to know that there were many and no one was supposed to arrive this late.

 

Athena pushed Dave inside, ignoring his objections as he wanted to get a look at the arriving vehicles, and closed the door behind them, locking it in place. She breathed out for a second before the engines outside stopped and a machine gun seemed to go off somewhere outside. Athena had no idea if it was their own or the attacking gang's and at this moment she didn't care.

 

She dragged Dave away from the door and towards their weapons laid out on the bench. They would need them. They had only just reached the guns when an enormous explosion behind them knocked them both to the floor. Athena could hear screams and smell burning flesh and wood while she tried to discern is she was severely hurt or not.

 

She could move all her limbs and as she opened her eyes and surveyed her body she only found small cuts and scrapes. Dave was beside her and seemed to be fine as well, standing slowly and hauling her to her feet. They didn't have time to get a word out to each other before they heard a yell and turning towards the door, they saw people they didn't know charging in, weapons in hand. Athena didn't think twice, just grabbed the nearest gun and started shooting.

 

She knew how to handle a gun, they all did, but she'd never killed anyone before. Even so, she didn't feel anything but triumph as the invaders started falling down, blood spreading out on the ground as their life drained from them. More of the Reds were pouring into the room but the attacking gang just kept coming. There was no end to them.

 

Athena had a feeling that something wasn't right. _There are too many of them._ Someone charged into the room and she recognized him instantly. _Danny._ The leader of the Crows that had attacked her the day she saved Kaidan from that alley all those weeks ago. _Oh fuck. The Lost Sons must have teamed up with the Crows!_

 

Athena had been standing there, gaping as the realization hit her and a crippling fear filled her insides. They were all going to die. Both the Lost Sons and the Crows had about as many members as the Reds. They would never make it. A set of explosions sounding farther away caused her head to snap in that direction as another wave of fear coursed through her. _Joker_.

 

She fired a shot into the chest of an approaching attacker and grabbed another gun as she started to move towards the back exit. She looked around for Dave but she couldn't see him in the chaos and smoke that their base had become. She hesitated for one minute before making up her mind. Dave was a big boy and he was tough, he could take care of himself. Joker was another matter.

 

Joker had been off duty tonight and would be back in their apartment. That is, if he hadn't gone out to play the hero. Athena hoped he would keep enough of his wits about him to stay there.

 

She got out of the main building through the back exit unnoticed and sighed in relief. The last thing she needed was for Danny to recognize her. Athena doubted very much that he'd forgotten that she'd punched him and then got away. She hoped Dave would get out of there as well. The brunt of the attack seemed to be centered to the hall in the base and there was no way they could kill all of the members in the other two gangs. Smart thing would be to take Joker and Dave and get out. And Johnny and Jade, if they happened to run into them. Athena wouldn't risk either Dave or Joker to save one of them but she didn't hate them. The first thing to do, however, was to locate Joker.

 

There was fighting outside as well, and most of the buildings were burning. Athena felt a flood of relief and let out a breath she hadn't even known she'd been holding when she saw their own apartment was intact with no flames bellowing out of the windows. A quick glance told her that Dave's apartment hadn't been so lucky, and she silently thanked Eric for stationing him on guard duty tonight. That was another thing she never thought she'd do – wanting to thank Eric.

 

She crouched down in the shadows and tried to discern how to best get to the door without drawing any attention to herself. The need to plan her every move warred in her head with the need to reach the apartment as quickly as possible and in the end she just made a run for it when the coast seemed clear.

 

She threw herself into the apartment and slipped to a halt when faced with the deadly end of a sniper rifle. Before she could even think to move, it was thrown away to reveal Joker's pale and scared face.

 

“Oh my god” He let go of the rifle entirely and stumbled towards her, not seeming sure if he wanted to hug her or punch her for breaking into the apartment so abruptly. Athena didn't give him a chance to decide but caught him a bone crushing hug, which, considering his condition, probably wasn't the best idea.

 

She heard his weak complaint and loosened her grip but he still held on to her as tightly as he could. They stayed like that for what seemed like minutes, but it could only have been seconds. Athena felt a wave of relief for actually finding him alive and whole and not having to search the entire wreckage for him. As much as she loathed herself for the thought, she concluded that if she'd get Joker and herself out of here, everything would be fine.

 

“I almost killed you!” Joker broke apart to watch her face with horrified eyes.

 

Athena opened her mouth to say something soothing but before she had the chance, he forced her face into his shoulder as he hugged her tightly again. She tried to say she was sorry but the only thing that could be heard was a muffled sound against Joker's shirt.

 

“I had no idea where you were” Joker kept babbling in his characteristic way of dealing with fear and stress. Usually, nothing could shut him up when he got going.

 

Athena found that she couldn't breathe while being pressed against him like that and pushed against him to let her go.

 

“What?” He let her move back enough to raise her head and and take a deep breath.

 

“Oh. Sorry” He looked ashamed that he'd hugged her so tightly that she couldn't breath but Athena smiled at him, happy to have found something good in this shitstorm.

 

“It's fine. And I'm sorry for scaring you” She gave him another smile before she remembered the predicament they were in. “We have to get out of here. I think the LS's and the Crows have teamed up against us. There's too many of them”

 

Joker nodded and let her go to pick up the rifle again.

 

“Where's Dave?”

 

Athena sighed miserably.

 

“I don't know. He was with me at the beginning but we got separated somehow”

 

She didn't know if she should suggest they go find him or not, and she could see the same hesitation in Joker's eyes. Before neither of them had to decide, her phone started vibrating in her pocket and she quickly pulled it up and looked at the display. _Kaidan._ She hesitated for a moment before she locked eyes with Joker and answered the call.

 

“Kaidan?”

 

“ _Hi, I was wondering- ”_

 

“We're under attack”

 

There was a slight pause.

 

“ _Wait, what?!”_

 

“I need you to call the police, tell them to come here. We've been attacked by two other gangs and we won't be able to fight them off. If no one stops this everyone is going to die!” Athena's voice broke on the last word as her thoughts went to Dave, and she cursed inwardly. _Way to go, make everyone even more nerve-wrecked._

 

“ _Alright, I'll call them. Hold on”_ Athena heard him repeat everything to someone else and then several voices were heard in the background. _“My dad's calling them. Are you safe?”_

 

“For now. Joker and I are in our apartment”

 

“ _Stay there, we're on our way. The police as well”_

 

Athena didn't even have the time to dissuade him from coming over before he hung up, but she shrugged it off. He was with his dad, who was an Alliance soldier. He would be fine. She wished she could say the same for them.

 

Athena looked at Joker and saw that they both were still hesitating what to do about Dave. She tried to distract herself by telling him of Kaidan's imminent arrival.

 

“Kaidan's going to-”

 

“Yeah, I heard.”

 

 _So much for that distraction._ Athena suddenly made up her mind.

 

“Come on. We need to find Dave and we're not splitting up again.”

 

Joker didn't argue, in fact he looked relieved that he didn't have to make the decision and followed her as she walked to the door.

 

It didn't exactly go according to plan.

 

The door was thrown open before they could even reach it and they both jumped backwards. Athena instinctively reached out to steady Joker with one hand so he didn't fall, and then turned her attention back to the ones at the door. The color drained from her face as she recognized Danny, leader of the Crows, standing in the doorway and leering at them.

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a very short chapter but I couldn't think of another good time to end it. Thanks to those of you who has commented and left kudos so far, it means a lot! Special thanks to Spaceconveyor for never failing to comment on a chapter ;) Let me know if you like it!

_Bang bang shoot 'em up, the party never ends  
_ _ You can't think of dying when the bottle's your best friend _

**Skid Row - ”18 And Life”**

 

“Well, well. What have we here?” Danny smirked and took a step forward, and Athena tried to protect Joker by pushing him back a bit. “The bitch from the alley. It took me a while to identify you, but people are always willing to talk, for a price. Your friend Johnny was no different.”

 

If possible, Athena blanched even more and Joker cursed under his breath. She put her hand back on his arm to calm him down. They had no way of knowing if Danny was telling the truth or just bullshitting them.

 

“I believe you owe me a car.”

 

Athena finally managed to find her tongue and growled at the intruder.

 

“I owe you nothing. Get out!”

 

Danny took another step towards them and Athena fought the urge to back away.

 

“I don't think so, sweetheart. You made me look a fool in front of my people. And you cheated me out of a _very_ expensive car _on my own streets_.”

 

He took another menacing step towards her and Athena started to think of possible ways to escape, but the truth was, with Joker there, the options were pretty slim. He couldn't just jump out a window, he'd break all over. Of course, Joker knew this and Athena squeezed his arm reassuringly to prevent him from doing something stupid. The last thing she needed was for Joker to become a martyr.

 

“Is this the weak one?” Danny quirked an eyebrow and peered behind her, and it took Athena a few moments to follow the sudden change of topic. Her anger flared when she realized that he was talking about Joker. _If Johnny told him all this, I'll kill him myself_.

 

“He's not weak!” Athena was seething and stupidly took a step towards Danny. She had no idea what she was going to do, but she had to do something. Joker grabbed the back of her jacket to prevent her from doing something stupid, and the sudden movement caused her to stumble to a halt and almost tripping.

 

Danny was grinning like an idiot and Athena got the sinking feeling that she'd played it right into his hands.

 

“So that's what makes you tick. Take him.” The last was said to two of his men who'd been standing behind him. Athena screamed in rage as they stepped forwards to grab Joker, but Danny suddenly had her in a firm grip and she couldn't get out of his arms no matter how much she squirmed. _Fuck_. He was way too strong for her.

 

The other two took Joker by the arms and dragged him over to the other side of the room, in front of the door. Joker yelled out at the too firm grip on his already injured arm and Athena winced as she heard the bone snap. Everything was going downhill terrible fast.

 

The one small bright thought in her mind was the fact that she knew the police had been alerted and that Kaidan and his dad was on their way. But that didn't seem like much when she heard Joker whimper, desperate not to cry in front of the others, as he cradled his broken arm close to his body. It broke her heart to see him stand there in pain, without her being able to help.

 

“You will get me that car, yes?” Athena shuddered and tried to jerk away at the feeling of Danny's breath against her neck as he whispered into her ear. “Or your friend will suffer a lot worse then a broken arm.”

 

Athena nodded without thinking as silent tears streamed down her face. She would get that car, if that's what it took. Actually, that car would probably be rolling in here within a few minutes carrying an angry biotic and one (or several, she had heard more the one person in the background) Alliance marine. She tried to convey her thoughts to Joker but he was keeping his eyes closed.

 

“Let's go.”

 

It took Athena a moment to realize that Danny had spoken and another second to get what he was saying, but there could be no more doubt once they started to push her and Joker towards the door.

 

“No!”

 

Athena blurted it out before she knew what she was doing and started to struggle even more against the iron grip that held her. If they left before Kaidan got here they might never be found. Danny would be able to do what he wanted with them and Kaidan and his father would search the whole area for them, maybe getting dragged into all the fighting. _We can't leave!_

 

“And why not, sweetie? You waiting for a knight in shining armor to come and save you?”

 

Athena kept her mouth shut this time and couldn't see Danny behind her so she glared angrily at the men holding Joker instead, but they only chuckled.

 

“We're not gonna stay here where your friends can so easily find us. Come on.”

 

They continued half dragging, half pushing them out of the door. Athena had a very bad feeling about this but they had no choice but to go with them. Even if she managed to get away from Danny she couldn't leave Joker, and he was in no condition to make an escape of any kind. _Completely fucked_.

 

Danny was dragging her towards a car and Athena started fighting even more. No way she was getting in that car. There was smoke and fire all around them and Athena started coughing after breathing in a mouthful of air. People were running around everywhere, screaming and shouting, and gunshots could be heard over everything else.

 

For a moment Athena entertained the thought that she was dreaming. She could have fallen asleep playing guard with Dave and come with up this whole absurd situation in her head. The pain in her arm from Danny's firm grip told her otherwise, though, and she struggled as much as she could when they neared the vehicle. Not even her depraved mind would be able to conjure up a situation like this.

 

She saw a familiar shape among the ones closest to them and in a last attempt to get free shouted the name she'd never thought she'd call for when she was in need.

 

“ERIC!”

 

She could see him turn around at her voice and she kept her eyes glued to him, as if trying to convince him to help them without words. His eyes darted back and forth over Athena, Danny and Joker, and he looked like he was taking in the whole situation. Athena prayed that he'd take pity on them but knew that if Danny and a couple of his men left with herself and Joker, that would make it easier for the rest of the Reds to scatter the remaining Crows.

 

Eric hesitated for a moment before he lifted the gun he was holding and aimed it at Danny, pulling the trigger with a determined expression.

 

Danny shouted out in pain and let Athena go as he fell to the ground. The two men holding Joker released him as well and reached for their own guns, but they were too slow. Eric's gun fired again and one of the men fell to the ground with blood pouring out of a hole in his chest. The other one managed to get a few shots away in Eric's direction, but Eric ducked behind one of the cars. Athena picked up the gun that the dead guy had dropped and shot the other Crow in the head.

 

She made to get to Joker, but a hand grabbed her arm and twisted it painfully until she let out a muffled scream and dropped the gun.

 

“Nice try.”

 

Danny's malicious voice in her ear made her blood run cold. She hadn't even thought to check if he was dead, assuming that Eric had gotten a clear hit. She felt the barrel of a gun against her temple and looked to Joker in despair. The only thing they'd accomplished was to make Danny furious.

 

Joker stood completely still, not daring to move in case Danny would do something rash. There was a gun lying beside him on the ground but Athena was fairly certain that he wouldn't get it in time and that he'd get shot if he tried.

 

Athena glanced in the direction of the car Eric had crouched behind and could see him joining the fight further off, not knowing that they were still in trouble. She didn't dare call him again with the gun pressed against her head.

 

They all stood like that silently for what felt like forever and Athena started wondering what Danny was waiting for. His car was right there and it shouldn't be hard for him to force both Athena and Joker into it now that he was the only one with a gun.

 

Suddenly, the gun left her temple and fired in another direction. Athena jumped at the sound, not being prepared for it, and she could feel her ears ringing from the unexpected shot. She turned her head as much as she could and the sight before her made her gasp for breath. Dave was standing beside the car Eric had crouched behind, a look of surprise on his face, as the blood soaked his shirt and ran down his front.

 

He dropped his gun and fell backwards with a thud and Athena finally found her voice, and she screamed.

 

She couldn't hear the noise around her and couldn't hear the panicked voices, there was only the sight of Dave lying in a pool of his own blood, that continued to spread at a dangerous pace.

 

Danny's grip on her arm disappeared, and as if it happened in slow motion, she saw him surrounded by a blue glow and smashing headfirst into the wall of the building in front of them with a sickening crunch. _Kaidan_.

 

Athena whirled around and felt a surge of relief as she saw him standing there, glowing weirdly blue, with one hand outstretched and with a furious expression on his handsome face. She could see his father behind him and David Anderson a couple of steps to the side. The marines was trying to get people to stop shooting, and were helped by the sirens from the police cars coming closer.

 

Athena tore her eyes away from Kaidan and stumbled over to where Dave was lying. He was unconscious and covered in blood. Athena tried to check for a pulse but her hands were shaking too much for her to be able to use them. Everything was suddenly spinning, it was as if the entire world started crumbling around them.

 

The last thing Athena saw before losing consciousness was Joker's worried face as he cradled her face with his hands and called her name.

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I'm on vacation in Barbados and I honestly didn't think I'd have time to write, but I managed to find a little time for my computer when I'd gotten enough sun! I've only read through this once so I apologize for any typos that may have snuck into the text. And also, I have no idea the time it takes to heal a shot wound in the ME universe so I made it up, hope you don't mind. Please leave kudos and a comment, and thanks to those of you that already have! It makes my day whenever I read them :)

_How the hell'd we wind up like this?_  
 _And why weren't we able_  
 _To see the signs that we missed  
_ _And try to turn the tables_

**Nickelback - “Someday”**

 

Athena could hear voices surrounding her as she slowly came back to consciousness. For a moment she had no idea where she was or what had happened and she continued to lie still with her eyes closed, trying to understand why she was in bed while there were people around.

 

Suddenly everything about the night and the raid came back to her and she opened her eyes and sat up so quickly that the whole world started to spin and she put a hand to her head to try and still her vision.

 

“Thena!”

 

Joker's voice broke through and she jerked her head around to see him sitting in a chair next to the bed. She wouldn't have needed to look at him to know who it was since he was the only one idiot enough to try and shorten her already short name. She groaned and closed her eyes at the sudden motion and felt hands on her shoulders, forcing her back down onto the bed.

 

“Don't move. You need to lie down.”

 

It took a moment for her to recognize the voice but when she did, her eyes shot open and she tried to sit up again. David Anderson put his hands back on her shoulders and held her in place firmly, but kindly. She looked up at his face and saw a worried expression, with Joker beside him looking disheveled and she decided to do as they wanted and lie still. When she relaxed into the bed, David took his hands away and she tried to take in the room from her current position. David, Joker, Kaidan and Kaidan's dad were all in the room with her, each of them with a concerned expression.

 

She was in the hospital. She frowned and tried to remember why she would be there. She hadn't gotten hurt had she? She couldn't remember much beside Danny dragging them to his car, and then Kaidan was suddenly there, saving them all.

 

She moved her hands down her body and froze when she felt a bandage covering a part of her torso, right under her breasts. _Why the hell am I wearing a bandage?!_

 

Athena tried to swallow but her throat felt raw and she suddenly realized just how thirsty she was. David seemed to be telepathic because he reached for a glass of water on the bedside table and lifted her up a bit so she could drink. She had to clear her throat a few times before she could speak.

 

“Why am I in the hospital?”

 

“You fainted.”

 

Joker voice was weak and he was wringing his hands, looking more vulnerable and out of place then she'd ever seen him before. He started to move towards her but then stopped and seemed unsure. Athena frowned again. They were acting like _she_ was the one with brittle bones.

 

She moved slightly and patted the bed beside her to make him come and sit. He shouldn't stand up without crutches for too long anyway, with his condition. Joker seemed relieved and sat down beside her at once, taking her hand and holding it as hard as he dared.

 

“You fainted and then you got hit by a bullet” David Anderson explained. “Missed your heart by an inch. We got you to the hospital as fast as we could but you almost didn't make it. You lost a lot of blood and went into severe shock.”

 

_I got SHOT?!_

 

Athena gaped at him and then turned her eyes to Joker to get some confirmation. Joker's expression told her that David didn't lie or exaggerate. It felt really weird to have almost died without even knowing it.

 

“So... I avoided getting shot when I was in the middle of a firefight in the base, and then got hit when I was just lying there on the ground like an idiot? Without me even noticing?” She sighed and shut her eyes for a moment. “Thats so fucking lame.”

 

She heard a snort coming from David and peered up at him from her position on the bed.

 

“Glad to see you're feeling better” He was smiling and she couldn't help but give a small smile back. _I'm alive, at least_.

 

“How long was I out?”

 

“About two days. They kept you sedated to heal faster. You should be able to leave here pretty soon.”

 

Athena opened and closed her mouth at Anderson in a perfect imitation of a fish.

 

“Two days?!”

 

Anderson and Joker nodded and her mind reeled. She had been lying in this hospital for _two days_. Joker and Kaidan had probably been there for _two fucking days_. It was too hard to wrap her mind around it so she tried to put it out of her thoughts and tried to think back on the night of the raid instead, remembering what had happened. As it came back to her, she turned to Joker with a worried and scared expression. She had to ask the question she didn't really want to hear the answer to.

 

“What about Dave?”

 

She could see the answer on Joker's face and no words needed to be said. She closed her eyes and could feel warm tears start trailing down her cheeks and into her ears.

 

“He lost too much blood. He was dead before we got to the hospital”

 

Athena nodded but didn't open her eyes. She still held Joker's hand in hers and could feel him squeezing it reassuringly. She knew what he meant. _We're both alive_. _Isn't that all I wanted when I tried to find him in the raid?_ She knew she should be happy about it but it felt like a hollow victory. 

 

“We haven't heard anything else. Johnny has been calling you a couple of times. I sent him a message to let him know we're alive, even though he hardly deserve it.”

 

Joker's voice held a lot of bitter resentment and Athena knew it was because of what Danny had said. About Johnny telling them about Athena and Joker and identifying her as the one who had cheated him out of the car. Athena didn't feel good about it herself, but a part of her still didn't want to believe that it was true.

 

“You think what Danny said was true?”

 

Athena could hear how small her voice sounded and the hopefulness in it that begged Joker to say no. So Joker didn't say anything at all.

 

Athena sighed and opened her eyes again, no tears in them anymore. She released Joker's hand and sat up slowly. David pushed her pillow up behind her and the moment she leaned back, Joker took her hand in his again. David started discussing something with Mr. Alenko and Athena looked over to Kaidan who stood at the edge of the bed, looking a bit out of place. She caught Kaidan staring at their joined hands with a frown on his face, and even though the circumstances sucked, she couldn't help but smile at the fact that Kaidan was jealous of her holding hands with Joker. _It's cute._

 

“Thank you for coming for us”

 

Athena's voice broke the staring contest Kaidan had with their hands and he looked up to meet her eyes.

 

“No problem”

 

“None of you got hurt?”

 

“No, the police arrived shortly after us and everyone fled. I have no idea who of your friends made it.”

 

Athena nodded in response and Joker spoke up.

 

“Johnny and Jade are alright, but I wouldn't call them friends. Haven't heard anything from anyone else. I think everyone is just looking out for themselves for now.”

 

Athena nodded to that as well and started thinking about what they would do now. She had to get out of the hospital and they had to go back to their own apartment. Then they needed to get in contact with Johnny and Eric, but Athena was debating whether she wanted to have the conversation with Johnny face to face or not. It would make it easier to get the truth out of him in person but she wasn't sure she wanted the truth. It might be easier to believe his lies and get on with their lives. They would probably never see each other again anyway.

 

“Any idea how long I have to be in the hospital?”

 

“I'll ask” Kaidan jumped up from the chair he'd sat down in only moments before and walked out the door to find a nurse or doctor.

 

Athena looked at Joker and he too had a thoughtful expression on his face.

 

“Maybe we shouldn't go back. I mean, we have to get our things, but maybe we should leave now before we get into anymore trouble.” Joker sounded hesitant but Athena knew what he meant. They had dealt with this gang crap for years and soon they'd both be eighteen. Better to get out when they still could.

 

“I guess... but I don't know what I'd do for the next couple of months until I'm eighteen. Won't be able to sign up before that.”

 

Athena reflected over the fact that in just a few short weeks, she'd found out what she really wanted to do with her life and even found a way for Joker to do what he'd always wanted to do – fly. They hadn't had any plan before that, the only aim had been to live to eighteen and get out of the gang.

 

“Maybe we could ask that Anderson-guy. He might know of some work or something you could do.”

 

Athena shrugged.

 

“I guess.”

 

David had helped them a couple of times now, but she didn't want to ask for too much. It was enough that he'd said Joker would be able to sign up and that he'd come to rescue them from the raid.

 

“He's very fond of you, you know.” Athena had been so deep in thought that she almost jumped at the sound of Joker's voice and she didn't understand who he was talking about for a few seconds. At her questioning look Joker rolled his eyes. “Anderson. He was really worried about you and yelled at the doctors and everything. I don't think he'd mind helping.”

 

Athena gave him a weak smile.

 

“We can always ask.”

 

Just then, Kaidan came back inside with his father and David Anderson in tow.

 

“The doctor will be here any second. He just wants to examine you and see if everything's alright, and if it is, you'll be free to leave.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Kaidan seemed to sense the weird mood she was in because he took a few hesitant steps towards her and looked worried.

 

“Are you.. alright? I mean, relatively speaking.”

 

Athena couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face, he was being so sweet. She knew that he felt awkward around all this gang-business because he didn't understand it. Maybe it was time to sit down and explain her life to him from arriving at the orphanage and up til now. She'd been afraid about how he would react before, but if seeing the raid hadn't scared him off, a few minor crimes wouldn't either.

 

“I feel fine. Just worried about how things look like at home.”

 

Kaidan nodded and looked down at his hands. Athena had a feeling he wanted to say more, but just then a man clad in white came into the room and all the others excused themselves. The doctor was a middle aged man and he was very kind as he used a small flashlight to check her pupil dilation and take her blood pressure and check on the wound. It had apparently healed very well with the medi-gel on and she only had to wear the bandage for a couple of more days to keep it safe from infection. It turned out that she was fine and could go home as soon as a couple of papers had been filled out.

 

That made Athena a bit uncomfortable. There was sure to be a rather large hospital bill for staying there for two days with all the medical care she'd gotten. She had no way to pay for something like that and she knew that Joker didn't either. She had a rather strong suspicion of who was going to take care of the payment, and even though she was very grateful, she didn't like it. It made her even more reluctant to go and ask him for help with a job until she could sign up.

 

The doctor left so she could dress and clean herself up and when she was done and went out the door, she found Joker and Kaidan waiting for her. Joker smiled at seeing her dressed and looking more like herself, but then he mumbled some excuse for him to go down to the lobby and disappeared. Athena laughed at his poor attempt to be smooth and leave her and Kaidan alone, but she stopped at once when she saw the look on Kaidan's face.

 

He looked like he hadn't slept for days, and he looked so worried and sad and haunted that she couldn't do anything but step forward and throw her arms around him. He responded at once and crushed her to him with strong arms.

 

She pressed her face into his shoulder and felt his breath on her neck as he buried his face in her hair. They were clinging to each other like they hadn't seen each other for years, when in fact it'd only been two days since they'd sat by that tree on Kaidan's parents lawn.

 

The severity of the situation seemed to hit Athena all at once and almost knocked the breath out of her. _Dave is dead. I almost died. The Reds might be finished. Joker and I will probably not be going back. Joker might be going away, leaving me here_.

 

She was on the verge of hyperventilating when Kaidan lifted his head up from her hair and crushed his lips to hers. It was not the sweet or passionate kiss she was used to getting from Kaidan. This was desperate, as if he tried to reassure himself that she was indeed there, and she kissed him back with the same ferocity. Their tongues battled for dominance in a way they'd never done before and Athena's hands reached up to his neck and hair to keep him there. His arms held her tight as if she would try to get away and she pressed herself as close to him as she could, wanting to stay in his embrace forever.

 

The sound of someone nearby clearing their throat called them back to reality and they sprung apart further then necessary with guilty expressions on their faces. David and Mr. Alenko stood at the doorway to the lobby and looked at them with raised eyebrows, both men trying to conceal their smiles. Athena felt her face go red at the show they'd given Kaidan's dad and David, and a glance at Kaidan told her he was feeling even more embarrassed. Joker stood behind them, grinning widely and giving Kaidan thumbs up, causing the poor guy to go even redder, very much resembling a tomato at that point.

 

David was the first one to speak.

 

“I've taken care of the paperwork and you only have to sign your own release form and then you'll be good to go. But if you don't mind me acting a little overprotective, I'd hoped you wouldn't go back home just yet. It's getting late and we don't know how safe it is. I was going to ask you and Joker if you'd be okay with staying in my house tonight, and then tomorrow we can go back there together. Sounds good?”

 

Joker nodded frantically, like all his dreams had just come true and Athena smiled.

 

“That'd be great, thank you.”

 

David waved it away and they all headed downstairs, where Athena signed the form and they could finally leave the hospital.

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of the story, and this chapter earns its rating!

_And I know that I'm damned if I never get out,_  
 _And maybe I'm damned if I do,_  
 _But with every other beat I've got left in my heart,_  
 _You know I'd rather be damned with you._  
 _If I gotta be damned you know I wanna be damned,  
_ _dancing through the night with you._

**Meat Loaf - “Bat Out Of Hell”**

 

Athena and Joker spent the night in David Anderson's house. It was not fancy like the Alenko house and Athena was happy about that. It was smaller and felt homely with a lot of personal things scattered around and pictures of people up on the walls. Most pictures were of men and women in Alliance uniforms and Athena wanted to study them all closer but the moment she sat down on he couch she realized how tired she was after everything that had happened.

 

There was one guestroom with one bed, and even though both Athena and Joker could easily squeeze themselves in there together, they had a feeling David wouldn't be comfortable with them sleeping in the same bed. They dragged in a spare mattress and laid it out on the floor. Athena decided that Joker would get the bed since she had spent two days lying on one and he was probably even more exhausted then she was. The fact that he didn't argue told her that she was right.

 

They fell asleep as soon as their heads landed on the pillows and didn't wake up until David knocked on the door 9 hours later. They had breakfast and took their time with it. Even though Athena wanted to go back and see what had happened after the raid, she wasn't in a hurry. She was a bit afraid of what she'd find. And she'd have to speak to Johnny and Jade and find out the truth.

 

Kaidan and his father arrived and they all went back to the Reds base together in the fancy Alenko car. Athena wanted to make a comment about the car being the thing that started this whole mess, but she knew to keep her mouth shut when she was nervous or she might never stop talking. Joker seemed to have the same idea and kept his lips pressed firmly together.

 

People stared at the car when they rolled in and stopped the engine right outside Joker and Athena's apartment, but they ignored the looks they got. Athena scanned the people she could see but couldn't find Johnny, Jade or Eric anywhere, and that cheered her up a bit. They went into the apartment and looked around. Everything looked like it had before the raid. They had been lucky.

 

Athena stopped in the middle of the living room, unsure about what to do now. It hit her that it would've been a good plan to talk to David about joining the Alliance before they got here. She had no idea what to do now. She looked over at Joker and saw that he looked as lost as she felt.

 

A knock on the open door made them all turn around to face Johnny, who was standing in the doorway, looking nervous. Joker's expression clouded at once and he looked positively furious at the sight of their former friend.

 

“Johnny.” Athena sighed his name and went over to him, anger building as she saw him again. The way he looked nervous and guilty made her quite sure that what Danny had said was correct. “We need to talk.”

 

Without waiting to see if he followed she walked out the door and across the grounds to the building on the opposite end. She tried not to look too close at the dark brown stains on the ground that could only be dried blood from the many who'd died or gotten hurt.

 

She crossed her arms and glared at Johnny.

 

“Is it true? What Danny told me and Joker?” Johnny didn't meet her eyes and just kept wringing his hands, and his cowardice made her loose it. She stepped up and slapped him hard across the face and he stumbled backwards with a surprised expression on his handsome face. “Did you fucking tell Danny that it was me in that alley all those weeks ago?! And did you tell him about Joker and his disease?! Did you tell him where we _live_?!”

 

“ _Yes_.”

 

Johnny whispered it and took a few steps back as if to ward off coming blows, but Athena kept her fists firmly by her side.

 

“Why?”

 

“He caught me and asked me if I knew. Said he would let me go if I told him. And you know I'm a terrible liar! So I told him.”

 

Athena couldn't believe what she was hearing. _I trusted you_.

 

“Why didn't you tell me after? We could have prepared! Don't you realize that that was probably the reason they went here with the Lost Sons to attack us?!”

 

Athena couldn't believe how stupid he'd been.

 

“I... I didn't want him to come after me and Jade.”

 

He looked miserable where he stood, he knew he was guilty for much more then just risking Athena's and Joker's life.

 

“Yeah that worked out great for you didn't it? You're lucky Dave is dead or he would fucking kill you for this!”

 

She knew it was an exaggeration but she just wanted to throw everything she could at him right now, hurt him as much as she could.

 

“I didn't want him to die. I didn't want any of you to die. We're friends.”

 

He sounded hesitant when he stated the last part and Athena scoffed.

 

“We're not friends. I would have been happy if you and Jade had died. I would happily have traded both of you for Dave.”

 

She knew she went too far the moment the words came out of her mouth and instead of blanching, Johnny took on an ugly darker color as he became furious as well. And then it was like the air suddenly went out of Athena and she found that she was all out of anger again. She was tired of being angry and whatever she yelled at Johnny would change nothing. Dave would still be dead and Johnny had still done what he did.

 

“Look, where is Eric? I just want to get this over with.”

 

Johnny looked like he wanted to hit her for a second, but then he visibly calmed down and answered.

 

“Eric's dead. No one knows where Yennie is or if she's still alive.”

 

Athena nodded as she took in the information. That meant that there was nothing left for them here. The Reds would most likely disband or be led by someone else entirely. And Athena didn't want to suck up to someone new anyway. She started to walk away but halted.

 

“Joker and I are leaving.”

 

She didn't wait to see if Johnny would have some final words of goodbye. She didn't want to hear them even if he had.

 

She walked back into the apartment and found that everyone stood where she'd left them, all of them a bit uncomfortable. Joker took one look at her sad face and nodded.

 

“So he did it.”

 

“Yeah.” Athena sighed and went to the fridge, started taking beers out for everyone. They somehow always had beer. She handed them out and then turned back to Joker. “Eric's dead and no one knows where Yennie is.”

 

Joker nodded.

 

“Then I say we pack up our shit and leave this place.”

 

Athena smiled and nodded. That sounded damn good. Except that they had no place to go. She turned to David.

 

“You said that Joker could join flight school. Can he join now? He'll be eighteen in three weeks.”

 

“He can join on his birthday. You can both stay with me until that time. I'll be away on a mission for a few weeks so you'll have the place to yourself.”

 

Athena wondered if she was imagining the glitter in his eyes when he said that they'd have the house to themselves and tried not to blush again at the memory of being caught kissing Kaidan in the hallway in the hospital. She pushed the thought away and focused on the topic at hand.

 

“What about me? I'll be another year before I'm allowed to join up. Is there any job I can do in the meantime?”

 

“I'll find you something to do and you can stay at my place until you're eighteen too.”

 

Both Athena and Joker beamed at David and he laughed at their happy expressions. This was just what they'd hoped for.

 

“I guess we should start packing.”

 

Athena and Joker smiled at each other and then grabbed a few bags to pack their things.

 

* * *

Athena finished her makeup and smiled at herself in the mirror. Three months had passed since the raid. Joker had been accepted into flight school and was doing really well, if what he told her could be believed. But she was sure he was exaggerating _a lot_. Athena still lived with David and had gotten a job at a nearby garage where she spent her time repairing and fixing up cars and bikes. She'd always had basic understanding of it, anyone who spent a lot of time with Joker picked up that skill, but she'd still needed to be taught some things by the owner of the place. He was an old friends of David's and Athena knew she never would have gotten the job otherwise. But it payed well and was reasonably fun.

 

Athena snapped out of it when Joker impatiently called her from downstairs. He'd been back at David's place for less then an hour and he was already eager to get out. Athena threw one last look in the mirror and ran down the stairs to where Joker, Kaidan and Oliver sat.

 

“Geez Shep, what could possibly take so long? We were starting to think you'd fallen asleep in there.”

 

Athena stuck her tongue out to Joker in a childish way and he responded by giving her the finger, but grinning at the same time. Athena pretended to be offended and put her jacket on before giving Kaidan a quick kiss, earning them a set of disgusted sounds from Joker and Oliver.

 

“Get a room you two.” Joker stood up and put his own jacket on and they all went outside.

 

Joker still kept his bike at David's place and had agreed to give Oliver a ride, although he'd been complaining about it. He'd never met Oliver before but Athena could tell that they'd gotten along well the time she'd spent getting herself ready. With a little luck they would become fast friends.

 

She smiled at the familiar warmth at her back that was Kaidan and giggled when he bent down and kissed her neck. She started the engine without waiting for Joker to start complaining about their kissing again. She knew he didn't really mind, it was just a part of the act.

 

They parked outside the club and went inside, and immediately got assaulted by the smell of sweat, alcohol and perfume. But Athena didn't mind, this was a smell she was used to and she still connected it to the many fun nights they'd had here. She hadn't been back since she had taken Kaidan here. It had only been about four months but it felt like forever ago.

 

The band hadn't started to play yet and they forced their way to an empty table and sat down. Athena and Kaidan went to get drinks for all of them and the band started playing the moment they got back. Athena couldn't tell if Oliver seemed awed by the place or if he was just disgusted, but he had asked for it after all. Several times, and he'd been very insistent. Athena hadn't known if coming back here was a good idea but all misgivings had disappeared the moment they got inside.  
  
The music was loud and the drinks kept flowing. They sat at the table almost the whole concert through but nearing the end Oliver wanted to go up and dance so they all did, with Joker a little bit on the side but he still danced.

 

The night sped by too quickly and soon the place was closing up. Athena couldn't stop smiling and Oliver was almost skipping. Kaidan didn't seem to be able to keep his hands off her and when he didn't have his arm around her, he was holding her hand. They hadn't had much time together between Athena's job and Kaidan's basic military training, even though he came home as often as he could. And even though Athena was very happy to see Joker at long last, she couldn't help but feel almost giddy when he eyed their entwined hands with suspicion and asked Oliver if he could sleep at his place. The house usually felt empty when David was out on a mission, but right now she thanked the universe for keeping him away from Earth right now.

 

Joker didn't normally get close to anyone that fast and Athena knew that even though he acted like he was disgusted by her and Kaidan, he really was happy for them.

 

They took a cab back to David's place where Athena and Kaidan were dropped off and Joker and Oliver took it onward to Oliver's place. Athena hadn't even managed to get the door open before Kaidan was at her back, pressing against her and nuzzling her neck, and she almost dropped the keys in her hurry to get inside.

 

She had enough sense to make sure the door was closed and locked before she dropped the keys on the floor and allowed Kaidan to pull her flush against him and kiss her for all he was worth. Their tongues were doing their usual dance, and even though they'd kissed like that many times, Athena didn't think she'd ever get tired of exploring his mouth with her tongue or hearing the low sounds he made in his throat. The kiss felt like it lasted forever but could only have been a few seconds. When they broke off for air they were both panting slightly and Athena could see a gleam in Kaidan's eyes that made her knees go weak.

 

She took his hand and without a word being said, led him upstairs to the room that was now hers. The moment they got inside she spun around and wrapped her arms around him and he kissed her again. She let her hands slip under his shirt and smiled when she heard his breath catch in his throat. She tugged at the shirt and he stepped back to quickly pull it over his head and throw it on the floor. Athena let her eyes rake over his naked upper body. He had become more muscular since beginning his basic military training and her hands were itching to run all over his chest.

 

“Like what you see?” One eyebrow cocked and a small smirk on his lips told her that he didn't mind her staring.

 

Instead of answering, she pulled off her own shirt and bra and smirked at him when his gaze went to her breasts and stayed there. She was going to say something cocky back, but she didn't get the chance as Kaidan took two long steps forward and wrapped his arms around her again, kissing her senseless.

 

Her hands went all over his body, touching every inch of skin she could reach, and she felt his hands do the same. Her skin burned and tingled every time he touched her and they both became more aggressive. Her hands went to his jeans and she deftly undid both zipper and button while pushing him back against the bed. The back of Kaidan's knees hit the edge of the bed and he fell backwards onto it, dragging her with him as he fell.

 

Kaidan let out a small huff as he landed on his back and Athena giggled and sat up a little so he could breathe. Her hands went back to his pants and she pushed them down as far as she could while Kaidan's hands started working on her own jeans. He fumbled and swore and Athena bit back a laugh and rolled off him to take off her pants herself.

 

The moment they'd gotten their pants and boots off, Athena was in his arms again, lying on top of him without an inch of space between them. They kissed each other hungrily, like they were battling for dominance and Athena moaned when his callused thumb rubbed over her nipple. She sat up a little more and took him in hand and guided him inside her. The low groan that Kaidan made was mirrored by the moan that slipped out her throat when he was sheathed deeply inside her. She pushed herself up and then slid down again, and Kaidan's hands found their way to her hips to help guide her movements. Going slow wasn't an option and soon both of them were panting and covered in a fine sheen of sweat.

 

As Athena neared her peak, she grew more vocal and Kaidan moved one hand between her legs and started to stroke her, causing her to buck her hips more forcefully. She came hard and cried out something that she hoped was his name, but it could have been anything, really. Her whole body spasmed, pulling Kaidan with her over the edge and Athena heard her name on his lips as he sat up and hugged her close.

 

They sat like that for several minutes, just breathing in each other's scent and reveling in the closeness that didn't happen often enough.

 

Athena had no idea what would happen in the future, with both of them in the Alliance anything was possible. But at least she was moving forward, leaving her old life behind for something else. And regs or no regs, she wouldn't give this up. _We'll have to be sneaky_.

 

She smiled at the thought and looked up to give Kaidan a quick kiss before she got up to get ready for bed. She was sure this new life would be a lot better then the one she left behind, and she couldn't wait for it to start.

 

_I can feel a change coming_  
 _And I know we're gonna make it last_  
 _From now on we'll be going somewhere slowly  
_ _Instead of going nowhere fast_

**Bryan Adams - “Nowhere Fast”**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, finally done! I want to thank everyone that has read this far and stayed with the story until the end! I still think it's amazing that people wants to read what I've written :) This is the first multi-chapter story I've written and it's been an exercise for sure. I will go back and look over all the chapters sometime in the future and correct the writing, and I might write a sequel at some point if someone's interested. But thanks again, and please leave a comment or kudos if you enjoyed it, it always makes my day :)


End file.
